I actually began writing a book of excuses, hopefully to be sold as a novelty text at like Urban Outfitters or in the Humor section at Barnes and Noble, but then I saw exactly that at UO! I was pretty devastated. Still, I think mine would have been better because it was going to be a practical book; essentially, you could flip through and open to a page and find yourself an appropriate excuse! “Sorry I can’t come to your son’s brit milah tomorrow…I just found out I’m on duty for neighborhood watch.” Etc. This book I saw was a tiny, pretty thing with a section for famous excuses from history and clever categories like that but mine would have been much more systematic…less “In Praise of Excuses” and more “Excuses You Can Use!”
Here are some that I like to call Universal Excuses, ones that can serve as the scapegoat for any sort of general shittiness…
El Nino
Santa Ana winds (specific to California I GUESS)
Hormones
The Economy (sub-excuse: “I’m broke”)
Irritable Bowel Syndrome
“Family Problems”
Dissociative Fugue
Studying for a big test (LSAT, MCAT, GMAT, Realtor’s License, etc.)
Religious conflict
Attack of the Killer Tomatoes!
Itinerantdaughter's Blog 
Leave a comment