Archive for the ‘Lists’ Category

Is This a Trend?

October 7, 2026

So I think this probably won’t qualify as a trend, because the examples I have are spread out enough that it doesn’t really point to an uptick in the number of times we see this trope over the years, but there is something interesting going on here. In some media offerings of the last 20+ years––most notably creepy mysteries, some puzzle box stuff––the writers have relied on a little device I like to call the “unearthed corporate-esque orientation video.”

Here’s what happens: usually once the story is a bit underway, the main characters discover a tape that gives some insight into the nefarious group at the center of the mystery they’re trying to unfold. Sometimes, it’s a corporation that’s a little culty; other times, it’s a cult that just happens (apparently) to like orientation footage that is corporate in style? Think cheesy music; placid-leaning-cheerful host; clear, instructional script; often drab, lame suits. To amp up the creep factor, the footage is often grainy and the tape often skips. According to some things I’ve read, this aesthetic is related to “analog horror,” but it is a pretty micro example of this and is found in the contexts of television shows and movies that cannot, themselves, be called part of that genre.

Herewith, some examples. You tell me if this is a trend? There are more than three, but again, I would think we’d be seeing this more often if it were building

Lost, Season 2 (2005)

Early on in season two of Lost, Jack, Kate, and John Locke successfully manage to descend into “the hatch” and discover it’s actually a bunker, population: one. Desmond (the sole resident of the hatch) has been down below for an undetermined, but presumably long, amount of time, and has been, per instructions, typing numbers into a computer every 108 minutes to avoid the end of the world. The trio from Oceanic 815 finds a video in which a doctor spokesperson for Dharma Initiative explains the history of the group and the purpose of the station.

The Empty Man (2020)

This isn’t a great example, because it doesn’t really have the hallmarks of a stock orientation video. The only reason it really makes the cut is because a) the logo of the Pontifex Society, a vaguely Scientology-esque outfit dedicated to sending messages via a long-paralyzed and comatose man, appears at the opening and b) it’s found by James Lasombra in an egregiously creepy (think worn out teddy bears on the floor) abandoned camp cabin while he’s searching for clues to solve a mystery. Whether or not this is a good example of this particular phenomenon I’m describing, the movie is worth watching if you’re a horror fan: after being released to nary a whisper (IYKYK), Vulture called it a “wildly ambitious” film that “tosses around more big ideas in its first hour than many great films have in their entire run time.”

Servant, season 2 finale (2023)

I’ve long loved Apple TV’s vaguely ridiculous Shyamalan-esque (he was a producer) movie about a strange young woman who takes a job as a nanny for a grieving couple in Philadelphia. The decor porn! The resurrections! The Lauren Ambrose of it all! (She is fantastic here.) Nanny Leanne Grayson, though, has a secret that rivals the one the family harbors: she’s the product of a cult made up of individuals who can––spoiler alert––bring people back from the dead, but only under specific circumstances and at a cost. At the end of season two, she’s visited by a fellow cult member trying to lure her back into the group’s fold, via––you guessed it!––corporate instructional video. Only this time, it’s Betamax. How’s that for analog?

Widow’s Bay (2026)

The belle of the television ball at the moment, Widow’s Bay is about an island off the coast of Massachusetts where inexplicable, bad, and inexplicably bad things happen. But that isn’t going to stop Mayor Tom from marketing it as the next beach vacation spot! As many critics more articulate than myself have pointed out, Widow’s Bay has to walk a very precarious tightrope in that it straddles genres, and it manages to be both horror and comedy without sacrificing either one. The Creepy Corporate Orientation Video is actually a two-parter: in one part, the nameless spokesperson speaks directly to people seemingly about to be sacrificed, and in another, he speaks to the sacrificers, telling them how best to carry out their duty (including: don’t comfort them)! It’s actually the oldest medium of the bunch too, as town employee Dale watches the footage on a projector.

Bonus example: Severance (2025)

Severance feels like it should be chock-full of this kind of video, given that it lives exactly at the intersection of eerie and corporate. Until I brave a third rewatch, though, I have to say that I’m pretty sure there are no orientation videos in the series itself. The only things that come close are when Helly wakes up for the first time on the conference room table––no video, just a voice over quiz––and when various people’s outies (Burt, Helly) send them video messages from the outside world. However, Apple TV released this little teaser video, in which Mr. Milchick and Ms. Huang explain the process of severance to other corporate entities, as a means of adding lore for hungry viewers. It’s not my favorite extra of all time, if I’m honest, but I also think Severance can do no wrong, so it’s still a little satisfying.

How Timothee Chalamet is Described on Reddit

September 15, 2026

I’m sure there are more, I’m only looking at one post.

“a baby bird skeleton with a wet napkin draped over it”

“if Montreal were a person”

“a sickly Victorian ghost”

“he looks like the main character of a Disney movie where a fine Italian leather dress shoe makes a wish to be a real boy for a day”

“a medieval shoe”

An entity with “too many bones”

“IRL uncanny valley”

“a fish”

“like he was made by AI”

Funny Distinctions

April 28, 2026

I wanted to look up whether there was a real distinction (versus just an intuited/understood one) between two things I’m researching, and so I went to Google and typed in “what is the difference between… ” And of course, Google being Google, it gave me prompts of other distinctions people commonly ask about, which were unexpectedly kind of funny! What is the difference between…

A latte and a cappuccino

A yam and a sweet potato

a malt and a shake

a vegan and a vegetarian

a fruit and a vegetable (a deceptively simple question!)

a crow and a raven

a psychopath and a sociopath

a bison and a buffalo

a hotel and a motel

a psychologist and a psychiatrist


(My question isn’t on here, FWIW!)

The Best New Year’s Blessings

November 6, 2024

(A bit delayed but still good!)

From AC:


I hope the next year is good for the world in all the usual ways but
for you specifically I hope:
a) you acquire some sort of fabulous maximalist garment
b) you discover that someone “cool” really likes your work
c) you discover an interesting but non-creepy secret about your house

Things Gerald Murnane Doesn’t Do

December 20, 2023

I only heard of Gerald Murnane recently for the first time, by reading a long New York Times Magazine profile of him. I don’t know how I ended up there, as it was written in 2018, but I’m really quite glad I did: to be frank his literature doesn’t sound very interesting to me, but he’s a top shelf eccentric and everyone knows how picky I am about eccentrics. Only the best for me! Anyway, Murnane is sort of a hermit, so he mostly just sits around the town where he lives in remote Australia, tending bar and organizing his files and playing golf. But what Gerald Murnane does do isn’t nearly as interesting as what Gerald Murnane doesn’t do:

“I become confused, or even distressed, whenever I find myself among streets or roads that are not arranged in a rectangular grid. … I have watched few films during my lifetime and hardly any in recent years. … I cannot recall having gone voluntarily into any art gallery or museum or building said to be of historic interest. I have never worn sunglasses. I have never learned to swim. I have never voluntarily immersed myself in any sea or stream. … I have never touched any button or switch or working part of any computer or fax machine or mobile telephone. I have never learned to operate any sort of camera. … In 1979 I taught myself to type using the index finger of my right hand alone. Since then, I have composed all my fiction and other writing using the finger just mentioned and one or another of my three manual typewriters.”

What he doesn’t mention, but the profile writer does, is that Murnane has also never flown on an airplane and has “barely” traveled outside the province of Victoria in Australia. My hero!

Job Idioms

September 20, 2023

A list of idioms, phrases or words in the Book of Job of uncertain meaning. (Some of these I’ve put into context––you’ll know they’re the uncertain ones because they are bolded.)

The Adversary answered the LORD

Skin for skin—all that a man has he will give up for his life.

May what blackens the day terrify it.

But the teeth of the king of beasts are broken.

And casts reproach on His angels,

May the hungry devour his harvest,
Carrying it off in baskets;
May the thirsty swallow their wealth

You will come to the grave in ripe old age,

That is why I spoke recklessly.

Does mallow juice have any flavor?

As I writhed in unsparing pains:
That I did not suppress my words against the Holy One.

A friend owes loyalty to one who fails,
Though he forsakes the fear of the Almighty;

They are dark with ice;
Snow obscures them;

How trenchant honest words are;
But what sort of reproof comes from you?

When I lie down, I think,
“When shall I rise?”
Night drags on,

Whose confidence is a thread of gossamer,
Whose trust is a spider’s web.

His roots are twined around a heap,
They take hold of a house of stones.

Who made the Bear and Orion,
Pleiades, and the chambers of the south wind;

It is something to be proud of to hunt me like a lion,

That You put my feet in the stocks
And watch all my ways,
Hemming in my footsteps?

Who can produce a clean thing out of an unclean one? No one!-

How your heart has carried you away,
How your eyes have failed you,

Troubles terrify him, anxiety overpowers him,
Like a king expecting a siege.

He will not be rich;
His wealth will not endure;
His produce shall not bend to the earth

He will never get away from the darkness;
Flames will sear his shoots;
He will pass away by the breath of His mouth.

He shuts off the view of His throne,
Spreading His cloud over it.

I persist in my righteousness and will not yield;
I shall be free of reproach as long as I live.

They open up a shaft far from where men live,
[In places] forgotten by wayfarers,
Destitute of men, far removed.

Of what use to me is the strength of their hands?
All their vigor is gone.

Driven out from society,
They are cried at like a thief.

They come as through a wide breach;
They roll in like raging billows.

With great effort I change clothing;
The neck of my tunic fits my waist.

Surely He would not strike at a ruin
If, in calamity, one cried out to Him.

But since now it does not seem so,
He vents his anger;
He does not realize that it may be long drawn out.

Will your limitless wealth avail you,
All your powerful efforts?

Its noise tells of Him.
The kindling of anger against iniquity.

He keeps turning events by His stratagems,
That they might accomplish all that He commands them
Throughout the inhabited earth,

Why your clothes become hot
When the land is becalmed by the south wind?

Shall one who should be disciplined complain against Shaddai?
He who arraigns God must respond.

Shall traders traffic in him?
Will he be divided up among merchants?

I will not be silent concerning him
Or the praise of his martial exploits.

Clubs are regarded as stubble;
He scoffs at the quivering javelin.

Things That Turn Misty Quigley On

March 15, 2023

Bubble baths

Walks in the rain

Muscular calves

Escalators

Knuckles

Steamed clams (“obviously”)

The Sensory Delight Scale

March 10, 2022

Anthropologist T.M. Luhrmann and her cohort developed something called the Sensory Delight Scale, a kind of counterpart/complement to the Tellegen Absorption Scale, that measures “who is more able, by temperament and choice, to have vivid experiences of gods and spirits.” If you answer yes to all of these, you might be a mystic!

When I’m listening to music, I like to imagine the sounds taking shape and moving in the air around me.

When I finish reading a really powerful book, I find that the ordinary world around me seems oddly unfamiliar.

Sometimes I feel like my body is weightless, as if I’m floating, even when my feet are firmly on the ground.

I like to watch the shapes and movements that sunlight makes reflecting off the water.

Sometimes the world seems intensely present to me.

I like to think that the trees in a forest are talking with each other.

I have had a distinct sense of a watchful presence.

Sometimes when I am at a concert, I find that the music has ended a few seconds ago and everyone is clapping before I notice.

The sounds of different languages seem to be connected to different colors in my mind.

Sometimes I feel like the air is full of little bubbles of light.

Sometimes I feel like I can sense the passage of time almost tangibly.

When I hear the waves lap against the shore, I sometimes think of how much those waves might know.

I find joy in little things, like a newly opened flower.

Exquisite pleasure sometimes floods my senses.

I can get lost watching a spider lower itself on a thread.

Sometimes I feel the arms of the universe embrace me.

When I dance, I like to feel that my body is simply responding to the music.

Thoughts can have different colors for me.

My Son’s Ice Cream Flavors

February 2, 2022

My four-year-old son likes to play a game in the bathtub in which he pretends to be an ice cream man making ice cream and selling it to me. Here are some of the flavors he makes:

Yellow Fire

Blue Ocean

Salt White

White Cloud

Seaweed Green

Orange Setting Sun

Purple Rising Sun

Pink Grapefruit (this one is the most ordinary)

Mud Brown


I feel like I am forgetting some! My favorites I’ve tried so far are Orange Setting Sun, Salt White, and actually Seaweed Green is surprisingly good.

Two Lists

January 27, 2021

The foods the Israelites pined for in the desert after fleeing Egypt:

Meat

Cucumbers

Melons

Leeks

Onions

Garlic

Fish

The names/nicknames T.S. Eliot’s childhood friends:

Dago Parker

Chicken Gilbert

Doodle Page

Butch Wagner, Pat Sullivan

Snowball Wolfpert

Elephant-mouth Hellman

Gander Giesecke