Archive for the ‘Image Craving’ Category

Hot Take

July 15, 2018

#hottake alert: Sharp Objects is the lady True Detective.  Discuss.

PS I should say I only watched the first episode, begrudgingly, because my WiFi wasn’t working in our apartment in Jerusalem, and there was this irritating but not uncommon thing happening with the TV where I couldn’t hear any of the dialogue but the second there was a score/song in the background, it was SUPER LOUD.  But my first thought, upon seeing the final scene in which Amy Adams disrobes to take a bath, revealing a body horrifically scarred by self-inflicted wounds, was, “Oh please, no way you could carve someone’s name onto your shoulder blade with any degree of accuracy.  Any adolescent cutter knows that!”

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Curmudgeons I Love

June 15, 2018

Two brief anecdotes, to begin:

1. When I was in high school, my French horn teacher (I know, I know), a sweet but wan young woman who lived with her mother, often wore latex gloves just like, around.  I was always very curious about this: was she OCD?  Was she trying to protect her precious instrument-playing fingers?

2. Right before the release of my book, my editor, my agent, the publicist at my agent’s office, and I went out for coffee to discuss pre-book buzz.  One of the things that came up was potential blurbers––you know, people who provide one or two lines of praise you can slap on the book jacket.  Because Lionel Shriver had recently written a book about her brother’s obesity (my book was about weight issues, to put it broadly), someone suggested her.  My agent got a grave look on her face, and silently and slowly shook her head, “No.”

The reason she did that, I later learned, is because Lionel Shriver is fucking terrifying!  She’s also at the moment (and maybe just generally?) loathed, for lots of un-zeitgeist-y views and what appears to be a broad disdain for people.  At times in interviews, she refutes that, but mostly the impression she gives off is that of a reed thin, slightly eccentric battle-ax.

Recently I was reading old profiles of her because I find her whole persona mesmerizing, and I noticed that she’s often photographed wearing cheap knit gloves.  She reminds me immediately of a strict Muslim who just forgot to wear a burqa but remember to cover her hands.  One article I read said she wears them because she refuses to pay for heating in her house; another said she had a circulation disease.  Is it possible she just wears them to bolster the “weirdo” image?  I get the sense she thinks of herself as very authentic, and not that she isn’t, but there is also a delight evident in knowing that she is very different from the rest of us bare-handed mite brains.

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Eulogy for an Essay

May 9, 2018
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Contact Siobhan for framing options.

Who Wore It Better

April 25, 2018

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All thanks to my brilliant husband for pointing this out.  Also this gave me an excuse to re-watch The Holy Mountain trailer and may I just say, *raises gathered fingers to puckered lips* mwah.  Exquisite.

Design Blogging

April 16, 2018

I wish I were a design blogger so I could just post these pictures of drawings by Lithuanian artist Aiste Stancikaite and be like, “Day’s work: complete!”

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Sidenote: pink satin underwear would be nice to own.

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Also nice.

Utterly Confused

April 10, 2018

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This was on Netflix’s home page.  Is Netflix just… buying whole people now?  What does it mean that they’re “all-in”?  Is anyone else thoroughly creeped out by this?!

A Very Literary Problem

April 10, 2018

I really dislike openly displaying sentiment, or attachment to things, particularly things that a lot of people feel sentimental about, but I can’t really avoid it when I discuss this topic.  Brief disclaimer.

So probably you guys remember almost seven (!) years ago, I stayed at Shakespeare & Company, the famous English language bookstore in Paris.  I danced a drunken jig outside the shop after a Will Self reading, I read Bernard Shaw’s Saint Joan late into the night, I had a mystical experience afterward: it was all gravy.

Fast forward to 2016.  The history book on the shop, which I had done the tiniest bit of work on when I was there, came out.  Though it was something like 40 Euros and I had to pay for shipping to London, I splurged and got it for myself.  But then, some very thoughtful people ALSO got it for me.  And now I have two.

I don’t really like to own multiple copies of books (I blame Marie Kondo) but I can’t really bring myself to just give the extra one to Goodwill or put it on my stoop.  I feel like it needs to go to a good Tumbleweed home, but I can’t really find any sort of online group that is like, New York City Tumbleweed alums.  (Not being on Facebook does not help my cause here.)  The only NYC-based person I can find who definitely was a Tumbleweed is Molly Crabapple, but she’s KBD and will probably be like, “Why is this weirdo writing me frantically insisting I take her coffee table book?”  (I know she loved it, because her LitHub essay told me so.)  If she sees this and reaches out, she’s got dibs, but I’m not holding my breath.  So now what?  Help me, Internet!

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(Not Shakespeare & Company.  Just another thing Molly Crabapple and I have in common.)

Very Important Dispatch

April 5, 2018

This man––a firefighter who tended to the 1983 bombing of the Hotel Rajneesh, and who was featured briefly in the Netflix doc Wild, Wild Country––looks a lot like Ron Swanson.    #superrecognizers unite.  End message.

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A Very Brief History of Women Marrying Inanimate Objects

March 29, 2018

Recently I was browsing the web and I saw a news item about two women in Fort Myers, Florida, who married a ficus tree.  Now, this wasn’t (probably) a case of objectophilia, as the women mostly had the wedding in order to prevent the tree from getting chopped down, which the town planned to do as its roots were encroaching on a neighboring property.  Still, it has echoes of object love: an affinity for a thing, a wedding ceremony with white gowns and cakes, and even, somewhat miraculously, an acknowledgment from the public (city officials are now working to save the tree).  It reminds me of how whenever these kinds of stories come up in the news, I always want to write a listicle of sorts, with the above title.

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So, herewith, my favorite ladies marrying things:

Eija-Riita Berliner-Mauer: I’ve written about her before.  Apparently she died in 2015.  Still waiting on someone to translate her documentary for me.  The only information I would like to add to my original piece on her is this quote:

“I find long, slim things with horizontal lines very sexy.  The Great Wall of China’s attractive, but he’s too thick – my husband is sexier.”

And this poem, which she allegedly wrote:

I Dream About You

You beautiful Berlin Wall.
You are so very sexy, my Darling.
I will always be here for you. My love for you is
so strong as the concrete blocks which
holds you standing.
I often think of the times when you in my loneliness
has made me so happy.
My kisses will warm you, when the night comes.
My life begins and ends with you.

Finally you should all know she observes a yahrzeit of sorts on the anniversary of the fall of the wall.

Erika Eiffel: In 2007, Erika Eiffel observed a commitment ceremony with the Eiffel Tower, whose curves she admired.  I’ve always thought the Eiffel Tower to be a bit cliched but I wouldn’t want to yuck someone’s yum, so get it, Erika!  Eiffel says that prior to her union with the Tower, she had an affair with an F-15, with whom she was besotted she ended up becoming an expert on it and earned a $250,000 scholarship to the United States Air Force Academy.

Jodi Rose: Also in France, Jodi Rose married Le Pont du Diable, but I kind of call bullshit because she spoke (for her bridge lover!) and said that “he understands that I love other bridges––and men.”

I found a few others but there isn’t really enough information on them (a woman who fell in love with a metal processor, a woman who married a fairground ride) to make it into my Very Brief History.  And thus we come to my favorite of the bunch: artist Tracey Emin marries a rock!  Emin, the famous wild child of British art, decided to marry a rock in the garden of her summer home in France.  She wore her father’s funeral shroud as her wedding dress.  “Somewhere on a hill facing the sea, there is a very beautiful ancient stone, and it’s not going anywhere,” she told the press, which is just about the gosh darn most romantic thing I’ve ever heard.  More than you can say for many partners, anyway.

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A field of eligible bachelors, in Brittany

 

This Is Strange

March 13, 2018

Guys.

What’s with the disembodied hand trend on the cover of cookbooks?  Two of the most popular cookbooks in recent years feature them; in fact, the covers look suspiciously similar to one another in more ways than just that one.  So, what exactly is happening here?  Why do I find this a little bit… scary?

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This eerie similarity is not enough for me to not want these cookbooks, though, just for the record.