Archive for October, 2010

Love Poem

October 29, 2010

Ah, to be loved by the “master of the anxious pause.”  Antonia Fraser was one lucky lady!

It Is Here (for A)

What sound was that?
I turn away, into the shaking room.

What was that sound that came in on the dark? 

What is this maze of light it leaves us in?

What is this stance we take,

to turn away and then turn back?

What did we hear?

It was the breath we took when we first met.

Listen.  It is here.

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Found!

October 28, 2010

In a used copy of Prozac Nation ordered online.

Put it to a vote: which of these twats cried inky tears onto the pages of this angsty classic?  There’s one obvious guess…

Snippets Overheard…

October 28, 2010

at Mars Bar in NYC’s East Village, perhaps the REAL last vestige of downtown punk…

“I was a personal friend of John Lennon.”

“Nobody cook no fucking fish.  I got a seafood cooker.”

“That’s what you get for working for the people.”

“I need some legal advice!”
Guy wearing a camo coat and brandishing 2/3 empty bottle of cough syrup: “I can help.”
“I need a lawyer in South Carolina.”
“I know a lawyer in South Carolina.”
They exit.

Striking It Rich

October 27, 2010

I really want to strike it rich as a “fashion blogger” (think: Tavi and Bunny Bisous, who needs to get herself an NG tube FAST!) though that may be difficult considering I swore off buying any new clothing for a whole year this past January 1st (and am going strong!) and all I can think to say re: fashion is that I want to be Ruth Gordon in all her many incarnations.

Rosemary's gone have a BAY-BEE!

Adventures in Unemployment, Part II

October 27, 2010

So I’m looking around for more paying opportunities even though I have a job in the ghetto (a dude OD’ed in my office this morning and my boss and I drank FourLoko ’round three-thirty.  Not. Kidding.)  One of them that caught my eye was writing about relationships and giving advice (which I am very good at) and it claimed the compensation was “competitive.”  Hm.  So I applied with a cheeky cover letter, natch, and got this automated response.  Grammatical errors and commentary noted by italics.  This dude is also a wee bit too exclamation point happy.

From: PR

To: ID

Hey it’s great to hear from you!

I’m glad to see your interested in the Relationship writer position. There has [have] been many applicants lately so you are lucky to be one of them! [Um, lucky to be one of the applicants?  I think that really could be… anyone?] If you did not already know, becoming an —– is an excellent opportunity to expand or launch your writing career. Since your articles will be displayed on one of the highest visited sites on the internet, your credibility, visibility, and opportunities as a writer will increase drastically. —– are always being featured in magazines, newspapers, local events, and much more!

As an —— you can work from home and write when you want. You will own all of the articles you write, and there is no minimum amount you must write each month. ——- are paid through Paypal every month on time. Compensation is based on page views and other internet variables you will learn more about after applying. Basically what this means to you is that each article you write can earn you money forever! Also, there is no limit to how much money you can make! It’s pretty awesome.

Now let’s get back to the Relationship writer position you are interested in applying for. In order to apply please fill out this online application form here: ——

After clicking the link, choose the “Relationships” category from the drop down list then hit search. From there you can choose any of the topics that interest you. Also, if you wish to write about more than one topic, or topics in a different category, please go right ahead and do so. And if your area is wrong, or you plan on relocating, hit the change location button to choose the area nearest you!

Applying is fast and easy. After applying it usually takes about 3-5 days to see if you’ve been accepted. If you would like to expedite your application, please email me back after your application is submitted!

I look forward to hearing from you and Good Luck!

Eavesdropping

October 25, 2010

Guy next to me at a Starbucks in Washington DC is writing an essay, the first line of which is:

“We struggle our entire lives to find ourselves.”

Eek, sad first line.  I kind of want to tap him on the shoulder and offer some guidance!

Means More to Me, Surely

October 25, 2010

My longest running pen pal's father reading my manuscript...

It’s Friday Night! What are your plans?

October 22, 2010

I am having a good group cry session at a semi-swanky Manhattan bar.  Jealous!?!?

Some Dream Snippets, As Of Late

October 22, 2010

Two cameos…

From HW:

I’ve been dying to tell you about this ridiculous dream I had about us last week:
I was in the worst possible mood known to man (why? according to the dream I wasn’t sure) so I ran away to your apartment building- mostly because you were there, but also because you had a Barnes&Noble mini-store on one of the floors and it was only open to residents of the building and their guests. I found you there and poured my heart out to you. I wish I knew what was bothering me so much because for some reason you were the only person I was able / wanted to talk / cry to (Thanks!). Anyway, while in the book store you started asking the others dwellers (AKA your neighbors – remember the store was only open to those that live in the building) if there’s a B&N in Israel…and I’m thinking, “Hello, I’m right here!!! Israel is my turf…book stores in Israel are 100% my turf!!! Why the hell are you asking everyone other then me? That whole scenario passed and you proceeded to show me some pictures of yours that were being displayed throughout the room. On our way out of the store and to the elevators we spot a whole bunch of my friends coming up the hall looking for me and I start throwing a tantrum and absolutely freaking out that I don’t want them to be there. Like I said, I only wanted to talk to you. Some how we manage to make an escape to my car up, but it’s late and you don’t want me to drive alone so you make a neighbors of yours follow me home on his/her (one of those dreams where the person starts out male and then suddenly transforms into a chick) bike. Turns out he/she is a convicted pedophile and he/she begins chasing me wildly… and then I woke up to my damn alarm.

From KM:

Oh, and I have a dream that you were in last night!  I was writing a letter or something and you were helping me with the wording.  You made some poetic comparison, something to do with a raven and a waterfall and everyone loved it.  Don’t worry, I didn’t cop it as my own.  I told everyone you came up with it and the response was usually, “Oooh, that makes sense.” 

Two from Me:

Two nights ago:

I was in something that looked like a school (straight hallway, low ceilings, cement floors, a few doors off each side leading to little rooms.)  For some reason I knew what would be in the last room, so I walked down the hall and entered very quietly.  In the room were a number of Orthodox women sitting on chairs and one semi-old rabbi.  The women were all somewhat portly, wearing black and had their hair covered with black scarves.  The space felt tight. The rabbi was allegedly (I say “allegedly” because I didn’t really hear what he was saying, I knew I went to the room for this reason) giving a talk to these women, who were all holding small prayer books (Torahs?  Idk.)  The atmosphere was casual and happy.  I was appropriately dressed but my hair was not covered.  I grabbed a book and opened and tried to clandestinely put a scarf around my hair.  After a few minutes of sitting and listening to the banter, I eked out, afraid I would be caught.
As I was walking down the bustling hallway, I heard a woman yell out that someone had stolen a book, it belonged to Mrs. So-and-so, and that they usually save their prayer books to give to their first born daughters (or maybe just daughters.)  I kept walking thinking maybe I’d just scoot away but I stopped in my tracks, turned around and started sobbing in the hallway.  I said, “I have it!” and this woman (not wearing a head scarf, btw, with ash-blond hair) walked up to me.  I was still crying as I told her that I was so sorry, I was just curious and I didn’t know what to do, I was so sorry, etc.  Basically babbling incoherently.  And she looked at me so warmly and said, “Don’t worry, it’s okay.  I understand.  If you have any questions you can always ask me.”  And I gave her back her book. 

Last night:

Clotted blood coming out of my mouth, but when I went to show someone, it was gone.

Contextually Appropriate

October 20, 2010

My sweet little bedroom overlooking the lawn...

The above picture is from Danvers State Insane Asylum, which was abandoned in the 1980s and only recently developed and turn into condos (yuck!)  Oh, how jealous I am of those who got to urban explore the grounds!  There are better (snazzy color!) pictures on this website, but it was too high-tech for me to figure out how to pilfer them:

http://www.danversstateinsaneasylum.com/gallery.html

There is also a big poster of the whole facade of the place for sale on this website.  Hint, hint.