Archive for May, 2011

A Dilemma

May 29, 2011

I’ve never once been mistaken for pregnant, mostly because I resemble the fetus of a china doll, an issue I will explore in an essay on the downside of youthful looks (which, if published by Vogue, will be titled something simple and chic with only a hint of sass like, “What’s Youth Got to Do With It?” whereas if posted on xojane.com or another snarffy –– snark + fluff = snarky -– will like be titled something more outrageous like, “I Look Like the Fetus of a China Doll, So FUCK YOU!”) BUT I do have friends who are not fat but who have maybe gone through periods where they’ve had a little extra padding on them and have been horrified when a wannabe good samaritan has offered up his/her seat on the Q line.  So… what does one do when pleasantly perched on the bench and faced with a woman who is just-on-the-edge, plump but not full-bellied quite yet?  Risk shattering the self-esteem of a young woman in an effort to be gracious, or sit tight and look like an asshole?

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Gifts given from Robert Mapplethorpe to Patti Smith, and Vice Versa, in Just Kids

May 23, 2011

A heavy silver ID bracelet engraved with “Robert Patti blue star”

A Persian necklace, “made of two enameled metal plaques bound together with heavy black and silver threads”, wrapped in violet tissue and tied with a black satin ribbon

A homemade tambourine made of goatskin, tattooed with astrological signs, with multicolored ribbons tied to its base

A small book on Tarot bound in black silk

Amethyst geode

An ivory heart with a cross carved in the center

Black toy lamb

White, tattered Victorian tea dress of handkerchief linen

A peacoat and a pilot’s silk scarf

Books of drawings, one a leather manuscript notebook, the other a graph paper composition book covered in purple silk, hand-stitched with black thread

The record Nashville Skyline

A copy of Sylvia Plath’s Ariel

A copy of Andy Warhol’s Index Book

A Borsalino hat

A tie rack with the image of the Virgin Mary

Seven silver skulls on a length of leather

Crosses of braided hair

Tarnished charms

Haiku valentines made with bits of ribbon and leather

A length of Indian linen

A notebook

A papier-mache crow

Words You Can Type With Just Your Left Hand

May 20, 2011

wed wet war wad was wave waves waved ere err rad red ref rev rate rates rated race raced races rage raged rages tar tad tear tears teared tare tares tread treads treaded tag frat fat fed fad fads few fade fades faded fare fares fared fart farts farted fear feared fears ferrets ferret frats free freed face faced faces fast faster fastest facet fact facts fax faxes faxed feast feasted feasts fate fates fated gas gassed gat gad gate gated gates garret garrets gave get great greater greatest grate grates grated graft grafted grafts tree trees tress tresses sea seas seed see set sets sat stats stat state stated states seat seats seated stag cease ceased ceases sad sadder saddest read reads reader reds rear rears area areas steer steers steered stare stared stab stabbed beat beats berate berated beret berets brat brats barter bartered barters steed geese grease greases greased greed bare bared bread bad bed bar brace braces braced beet beets barf barfed cede cedes cat cats scat scats scared scares cares cared far wager waged wages swag sage sages cast casts casted crater craters caveat caveats cravat cravats vase vases sever severed veer veers veered water waters watered weeder erase erases erased era eras ear ears eared tear tears teared trade traded trades trace traces traced tee teed trader traders raw drawer drawers draw draws dare dared dares dead sew sews tesseract wars warred bear bears watt watts swat swats swatted vet vetted save saved stave staved swerved swerve swerves serve served serves vest vested vests date dated dates fret fretted frets facet facets faceted fact facts refracts sewer sewers seaweed taser safe safer safest

I could go on but it’s time for me to leave work now, and spend my time doing better things 😉

TGIR

May 20, 2011

Thank God it's the Rapture.

Here’s an Idea

May 20, 2011

“You know, manacles and chains have functions in modern life which their fevered inventors must never have considered in an earlier and simpler age.  If I were a suburban developer, I would attach at least one set to the walls of every new yellow brick ranch-style and Cape Cod split level.  When the suburbanites grow tired of television and Ping Pong or whatever they do in their little homes, they could chain one another up for a while.  Everyone would love it.  Wives would say, ‘My husband put me in chains last night.  It was wonderful.  Has your husband done that to you lately?’  And children would hurry eagerly home from school to their mother who would be waiting to chain them.  It would help the children to cultivate the imagination denied them by television and would appreciably cut down on the incidence of juvenile delinquency.  When Father came in from work, the whole family could grab him and chain him for being stupid enough to be working all day long to support them.  Troublesome old relatives would be chained in the carport.  Their hands would be released only once a month so they could sign over their Social Security checks.  Manacles and chains could build a better life for all.  I must give this some space in my notes and jottings.”

~ Ignatius Reilly in A Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole

I’m calling it now

May 19, 2011

Pippa Middleton looks like Robin Tunney circa The Craft.  Who’s with me?

Sad Sunday Poem

May 9, 2011

Mercifully

He let me sleep

and in my dreamful slumber, I could do what I couldn’t awake ––

wash my face, brush my teeth, and greet the day.

When Family Members Go Native Nutso

May 4, 2011

My friend Lady B sent me this hilarious email she received from from her aunt, who divorced her uncle a while ago and has now found a new path in Native American spirituality.  (She is not, fyi, a Native American.)

P sent you a message.

——————–

hey Lady B it has been a very long time since I have seen you and your parents…quess I didn’t realize when i had to divorce Steven I end up losing 3 great people. You are all grown up… I heard you can speak several languages including sanskrit…way to go !
i don’t know where you are at spiritually( not religion) in your life…but I have been following the native path for a very long time and it has evolved to I guess you can say to the origin where religion came about.
My first vision I had was in 1996 and pretty much i have been evolving since. I have been following this path of awaking since and it has been very challenging. Hardest part right now is being away from L. We talk each day..but miss hugging her… But we both know she and I and others have a greater task that involves the earth and all that inhabit it in the next year and half.

Guess I am putting out there for you for spirit has a reason for me to contact you after all these years…. I have a feeling you are experiencing things that you may or not understand…. Is your ears been ringing unusual? Seeing sequential numbers like 11:11…  Not matter what let me how you are doing.. say hi to Mom and Dad for me.. Many blessings to you and your family P
Phone # …live in North Dakota now near my husband’s reservation.