Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

Nicknames I Will Appropriate

May 23, 2021

“Hamblin enjoyed a reputation of unimpeachable integrity among the Saints of southern Utah, who called him ‘Honest Jake. The historical record plainly shows, however, that Hamblin had no compunction about ‘lying for the Lord’ when he thought it would advance the goals of the Kingdom of God. Indeed, the record also shows that Hamblin was quite willing to lie through his teeth simply to enrich himself. It’s worth noting that John D. Lee had his own nicknames for Hamblin: ‘Dirty Fingered Jake’ and ‘the fiend of Hell.'”

~Jon Krakauer, Under the Banner of Heaven

The Most Incredible Shoes Ever

April 16, 2021

Butterscotch yellow quilted satin mini-pumps with a buckle and fur. Amazing! From the 1995 movie A Little Princess. Yes, I re-watched it recently; yes, I thought about the plot through the lens of contemporary issues (“Just because you’re nice to the slave at boarding school doesn’t mean you get off the hook for being a colonizer in India, Sarah!”); yes, I am fine with being a capitalist POS if it means I can have these shoes.

gah amazing

A New Disorder

December 17, 2020

A friend of mine sent me a link to a thread on therapist-dedicated subreddit, in which the original poster asked if anyone else who worked with offenders felt uncomfortable with the concept of cancel culture. A few interesting anecdotes and ideas came up, that led to lots of questions (in my head, that is) about cancel culture, but the most interesting thing to come out of it was this:

I work primarily with OCD and anxiety disorders and I’ve seen [fear of being canceled] popping up more and more in OCD content in the form of moral scrupulosity. Compulsions are often checking and re-checking accounts to make sure they didn’t accidentally say or post something homophobic, racist, or otherwise offensive.

This is so fascinating to me! It’s like, the newest version of Truman Show Delusion! If the person who is to Internet Scrupulosity what Marc Feldman is to Munchausen’s by Internet is out there, please get in touch so I can write a long form piece about your attempt to get this into the DSM!

“Ornamental Eremitism”

October 28, 2020

What hermits were and how they lived, once quite familiar, now became shrouded in the kind of mist that fostered romantic images that persist to this day. Peter France, in his book Hermits: The Insights of Solitude, noted a practice, which sprang up in England in the early 1700s and lasted almost until the 1900s, of wealthy families establishing a hermit in their formal gardens as an ornamental fixture for the edification and entertainment of guests. He quotes from an architectural guide published in 1767 which featured detailed suggestions for housing these hermits appropriately, ranging from the simple hut “ten feet, nine inches square made of trees and lined with moss” right up to the top of the line, the “Gothic Grotto, made of six rooms lined with shells.” A Miss Cynthia Aldburgham remembered that as a child, visitors to her family home could tour the grounds and “be shown a hermit who sat in a cave fondling a skull.” Presumably, he was given advance warning when his presence at the cave entrance would be required!

A Mr. Powys of March advertised for a hermit to live in an underground grotto for seven years. The apartments provided were commodious including a cold bath, a chamber organ (!), and as many books as the hermit desired. If he needed any convenience beyond the food provided daily from Mr. Powys’ own table, he was to ring a bell and his needs would be met. Ideal as this might sound, no one lasted more than four years. The most long-lasting of these ornamental hermits appears to have been one who “for fourteen years was Hermit to Lord Hill’s father; and sat in a cave in that worthy baronet’s grounds with an hourglass in one hand and wearing a beard once belonging to an old goat from sunrise to sunset.” The romantic image of the melancholy hermit appeared to have little to do with spiritual motivation, even if provided with an organ, presumably to play religious music to enhance the atmosphere!

~Consider the Ravens: On Contemporary Hermit Life by Paul A. Fredette and Karen Karper Fredette

I’ll Have What He’s Having

October 12, 2020

Actual page from Curious George Takes a Job, 1947

Possible Narrative Conflicts Available to Filmic Storytellers

September 1, 2020

According to the protagonist of Charlie Kaufman’s Antkind:

Man vs. Man (Woman, Nonbinary, Child)
Man vs. Self
Man vs. Nature
Man vs. Society
Man vs. Machine
Man vs. Supernatural
Man vs. God(dess)
Man vs. Two Men (and et chetera)
Man vs. Everything
Man vs. Nothing
Man vs. A Few Things
Man vs. Disease
Man (Sick) vs. Healthy Person of Any Gender
Man vs. Idiocy
Man vs. Memory (Memory is a map of sorts, but hand drawn, incomplete, and full of errors. It can let you know a place exists, but you cannot trust it to get you there. To get you there, you need a computer. A computer is precise. A computer does not think your mother is more important than the chair, or the space that’s not your mother is more important than the space that is, or the glass of water on the table, or the sun pouring through the window, or the velvet drapes, or your mother’s love for her father, or the front stoop, or the cracks in the front stoop. This is why Man must fight it.)
Man vs. Computer
Man vs. Time
Man vs. Fate
Man vs. Marketing
Man vs. Clone
Um…
Man vs. Smell
Um…
Man vs. No Smell
Um…
Man vs. Some Smell

(As much as I stan for Charlie Kaufman, I agree with the reviewer who called this book “exhausting.”)

 

 

A Funny Email from a Sassy Midwife

March 19, 2020

A sassy midwife just sent me the following:

I hate those yogi tea bag sayings that say “let your breath cure the world today” or whatever…I always sharpie them out and write “good job blinking!” or “Hi.”  We are so hard on ourselves, our tea should be a respite, not additional pressure!

I have often thought about this when opening one of those individual Kleenex pouches with “Seize the day!” written on them.  Can’t a girl blow her nose without being asked to Lean In?!

A Great Disclaimer

October 17, 2019

Please note: a gun is used onstage, and gunshots are heard offstage, during the show. Additionally, herbal cigarettes are used in this production.

Post-Script from Friday

October 16, 2019

Just a little update to my Friday post: My husband generously pointed out to me that while my post was “good,” I flubbed one thing, which is that Jesus did not say outright he had come to supplant the law.  Rather, he said, during the Sermon on the Mount, that he had come to “fulfill” it.  What exactly does that mean?  Of course, Jesus liked to speak in parables, so the enigmatic statement was left to be clarified by his Apostles later: in Acts 15, when Paul and Barnabas go to the Council at Jerusalem, long story short, they proclaim that the laws of Moses have been abolished (to put it heavy-handedly) and that people shall be saved “through the grace of our Lord Jesus” alone.  So, while the point of my phrasing was correct––most Christians (save Seventh Day Adventists) do not consider Hebraic law to apply to them (nor do Hebrews!)––the literal phrasing of it––that Jesus said this outright––was wrong.  Sorry!  I am going to leave up my mistake for all to see because that’s how big a person I am!

HAPPY BLOG-IVERSARY!

June 4, 2019

Dear ones!  (I just read a great takedown of Elizabeth Gilbert so that’s tongue-in-cheek.)  Guess what?  This blog has been alive for 10 years TODAY!  Remember this first post, in which I implored people not to read?  Luckily, a vast majority of the planet’s population got that memo!  If you’re still on board with me here, please meet me for drinks at 11 PM tonight at the American Colony Hotel, Louis Vincent Street 1, Jerusalem.  L’chaim!