Archive for June, 2013

PET RATS

June 29, 2013

At my writing program, there was a girl one year ahead of me who was super nerdy and awkward, but she wrote her book-length thesis on a freak brain aneurysm she developed (and nearly died from) at age 27 and swept the year’s awards.  Afterwards, I congratulated her, and she adjusted her glasses and said, “I was originally going to write about my pet rats.” It took everything in me not to nudge her with my elbow and say, “Well, thank G-d you got that brain aneurysm, amIright?!”

I was reminded of this story the other day when my boyfriend told me he had investigated buying pet rats at our local Pet Smart and feeding them to our cats.  It’s been tough to entertain them, as we live in a small apartment and have two (Bodega, because I got him from the bodega men, and Slash, because he is a rock star.)  While browsing PetSmart.com, M noticed that the “hairless fancy rat” is quite beloved by consumers.  There are twenty customer reviews: 1 is a 1 star, 2 are 4 stars, and 17 are 5 stars.  Here are some favorites:

March 21, 2013

diana0509

from: Ohio   What is your gender?: F    How many pets do you have?: 5 or more    How often do you shop at PetSmart?: Weekly

I must admit, these little ones are by far the sweetest & most lovable. My little “Squeakers” was my joy. These little ones..people often turn away by the looks of them, BUT the heart these little ones have..there are NO words. The are curious, cuddly, love being held & love to pick up things. Not to mention chatter (talk) to you. Squeakers would go to our vet’s (for checkups) & just make herself @ home checking everything out she could find. Including picking up his Stethoscope & chattering into it. Wonderful with kids..just keep them in a warm place with no drafts as they are hairless..& enjoy years of love & laughter.

February 23, 2013

sQueaKuP

from NJ    What is your gender?  F       How many pets do you have? 4         How often do you shop at PetSmart? Monthly

My friend loves animals.Sadly,she is allergic and for a while could not have any pet.She was looking to see if there were any hairless pets at the store.Then,she saw a hairless rat.She loved rats so finding hairless ones were a huge win for her! She got one named Remy,and she loves him.He’s very sweet and smart,and she found him easy train.These are perfect pets for people with allergies to furred pets but don’t want to get left out of the pet fun.I actually saw that hairless ones are even nicer than the furred ones! Adorable and fun,and totally worth the moola!

November 27, 2011

Dennis34589

from Duluth,GA        What is your gender? M        How many pets do you have? 5 or more        How often do you shop at PetSmart? Weekly

Hairless rats are amazing pets. I had one, named Buddy, he was like a little son to me. He loved to relax with me, and sit there being petted for a long time. I would buy as much as possible if I could. Buddy was my favorite small animal and one of my favorite pets of all time. Good for starters, Good for experts. Extremely awesome pets.

July 1, 2011

Armadillo

from Philadelphia, PA        What is your gender? F       How many pets do you have? 5 or more       How often do you shop at PetSmart? Monthly

I absolutely love pet rats. I have three; a hairless, a fancy and a dumbo. They are highly intelligent and sociable, not to mention adorable! I’ve trained my rats to do various tricks from coming when their name is called to even stealing money (for some reason they’ll only take 1 dollar bills and don’t worry it’s only for entertainment, I don’t actually use them to steal). I would definitely suggest rats to anyone looking for a little companion!

September 9, 2010

TaraB

from NJ     What is your gender? F      How many pets do you have? 5 or more      How often do you shop at PetSmart? Monthly

I love my hairless ratties! I have 10 rats altogether and 2 of them are hairless – one girl (“Noodle”) and one boy (“Bosley”). I’ve owned MANY rats over the years and these were my first hairless sweeties.

The only problem is, the hairless rats seem to get sick MUCH easier than their furred friends. When I first got Noodle early last fall, she got a chill and almost died when it went down to 68 degrees in my room. Same thing happened to Bosley a few months later. Make sure to keep plenty of cozy hammocks in the cage and try to provide them with a furry friend for cuddling. They also seem to eat a lot more food than my other rats, yet they are smaller and skinnier than they’re friends.

Note that Bosley and Noodle are not from the same litter (or even from the same store), so it wasn’t just a sickly litter.

Other than the health issues, hairless rats and gentle, loving, and hilarious little pets.

March 16, 2010

MaurinQuina22

from Ithaca, NY     What is your gender? F       How many pets do you have? 1        How often do you shop at PetSmart? Monthly

Just shy of 2 years ago, I bought a female Hairless Dumbo Rat (yep, they exist) from the big PetSmart on S. Canal St. while I was living in Chicago. PetSmart must really work hard to find and train animals for great temperaments because “Xena” had more personality in that little, wrinkly body than most dogs and cats that I’ve met. From the day I got her, she was perfectly comfortable with me picking her up and interacting with her. She was endlessly clever, sweet as pie, and was, to quote a friend of mine, a “rambunctious little stink.” She never, ever bit or squealed, and she was most at home climbing on or around me. I don’t think there’s a human in the world who could ever match the level of enthusiasm she showed just at the sight of me when I got home from work, or the unconditional love that she always gave me. Sadly, Xena died a week ago, and she meant so much to me that I cried for 2 days. Small animals aren’t built to last as long as you wish they could, but looking back on all the joy she brought into my life just by being her friendly, spunky, trouble-making self, it was so worth it. Anyone who chooses a Hairless or Dumbo Rat (or better yet, both wrapped up in one) is a lucky person, indeed. She was the best friend I’ve ever had, and when the time is right, I look forward to bringing a couple of new wrinkly friends into my life, courtesy of PetSmart. I recommend them highly.

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Rabbi Nachman on Child-Rearing

June 26, 2013

“53. The best thing for children is to keep your distance from them, not playing with them too often.  It is best not to pay attention to them at all.”

~Rabbi Nachman’s Wisdom

WORTHLESS

June 25, 2013

Is what I have been today.

I need some uppers, such as:

Num num num.

Num num num.

PSA

June 23, 2013

Even if you’re bougie and you live in Brooklyn, three old kitchen spoons and a polka dot comforter does not equal a stoop sale.  Just throw your shit away.

Not a Joke

June 21, 2013

Mars (the planet) wrote me an email.

Screen shot 2013-06-21 at 9.27.34 AM

Another Idea Stolen!

June 19, 2013

Well, stolen from me… before I was born.

When I was at Shakespeare & Co. in Paris, I considered writing a mock-children’s book about a bookstore in which the characters in famous books come to life at night and haunt the daughter of the owner.  Dorothy Parker would teach her all about the stupidity of romance, Yukio Mishima would commit seppuku on loop, and Jean-Paul Sartre would smoke (a lot.)  It would be kind of like In the Night Kitchen meets Midnight in Paris, except with a more international cast of writers.

However, it seems someone else, namely Christopher Morely, wrote a book called The Haunted Bookshop, which will be out this August from the adorable Melville House.  Synopsis as follows:

“When you sell a man a book,” says Roger Mifflin, the protagonist of this classic novella, “you don’t sell him just twelve ounces of paper and ink and glue—you sell him a whole new life.” Mifflin—whom we first meet in Morley’s Parnassus on Wheels—is an itinerant bookseller, ensconced in literary Brooklyn.

“If you are ever in Brooklyn, that borough of superb sunsets and magnificent vistas of husband-propelled baby-carriages,” he advises, “it is to be hoped you may chance upon a quiet by-street where there is a very remarkable bookshop.”

The shop, haunted by “the ghosts of all great literature,” provides the alluring setting for this suspenseful novella. Strange things are happening: books disappear and reappear, suspicious characters lurk, and the distant First World War may be encroaching even on the peaceful old brownstone where the shop makes it home. A thoroughly entertaining tribute to the bookseller’s art, and one of the most beloved bookish novels of all time.

Fuck-Ups

June 18, 2013

Redacted: i got myself into a sticky little situation last night

ID: oh do tell!

Redacted: hahahah

well

i went over to my friend l’s apt yesterday for “a glass” of wine

which turned into 4 bottles of wine, some sushi, some cocaine

and then a hookup

hahahahhahaa

ID: HAHAHAHA

are you still seeing that other girl, k’s friend?

Redacted: oh, no

she wasn’t behaving herself

Terrible Tuesdays

June 18, 2013

I feel like this is the kind of thing that would normally get me “excited,” but it just makes me sad.  Al Jazeera has made an interactive map tracking Tibetan self-immolations since January 1, 2011.  Watch it and cry.

I Need a College Student

June 17, 2013

I will pay you if you get this internship and will do recon for me.

Internship at the office of Marina Abramovic

Abramovic LLC

(New York NY)

The office of artist Marina Abramovic is excited to announce our summer internship position.

 

The internship will primarily involve work on an exciting project in Marina Abramovic’s video archive.  For this reason, we are seeking applicants with technical video skills.  Knowledge of the history of video as a medium, a variety of videotape formats and current software platforms such as Final Cut Pro and File Maker Pro is strongly desired. A basic understanding of and a sincere curiosity about video and art history is also desired.

We are seeking applicants to begin immediately.  The position is a three-month commitment, with some flexibility.  Interns will work 2 to 3 days per week.

 

The position is unpaid, though past internships have led to longer collaborations and other exciting projects.

 

This position is a rare opportunity for anyone interested in a career in the arts.

Please email abramovic.intern@gmail.com with 2 PDF attachments:

-Your resume

-Your cover letter

In the body of the email, please include:

-Your name and email

-The names and numbers of three references

The United Lodge of Theosophists Declaration

June 16, 2013

“The policy of this lodge is independent devotion to the cause of Theosopy, without professing attachment to any Theosophical organization.  It is loyal to the great Founders of the Theosophical Movement, but does not concern itself with dissensions or differences of individual opinion.

The work it has on hand and the end it keeps in view are too absorbing and too lofty to leave it the time or inclination to take part in side issues.  That work and that end is the dissemination of the Fundamental Principles of the Philosophy of Theosophy, and the exemplification in practice of those principles, through a truer realization of the SELF; a profounder conviction of Universal Brotherhood.

It holds that the unassailable basis for union among Theosophists, wherever and however situated, is ‘similarity of aim, purpose and teaching,‘similarity of aim, purpose and teaching,’ and therefore has neither Constitution, By-Laws nor Officers, the sole bond between its Associates being that basis.  And it aims to disseminate this idea among Theosophists in the furtherance of Unity.

It regards as Theosophists all who are engaged in the true service of Humanity, without distinction of race, creed, sex, condition or organization and

It welcomes to its association all those who are in accord with its declared purposes and who desire to fit themselves, by study and otherwise, to be the better able to help and teach others.

The true Theosophist belongs to no cult or sect, yet belongs to each and all.”