Ruin Porn

August 8, 2019

I’ve been wanting for ages to make a prototype for a cover of my magazine, Ruin Porn, which will be a high-end glossy for those of us who love abandoned buildings, architectural decay, and eerie interiors.  Unfortunately for us all, my Photoshop skills are zilch.  So I’ve done this, which is kiiiinda close but a) the font of the contents isn’t perfect and b) I want the background to be Baker-Miller/Millennial Pink or another shade of pink TBD, which feels like it SHOULD be easy to accomplish but is… not.

By the way if anyone wants to team up with me and make this magazine, I would toooootally do it.  I’m leaning toward it being a biannual journal but I’ll sign on for a quarterly if my financial backers absolutely insist.

By the way, in case you can’t read it, the features in this issue are: The Abandoned Villas of Italy by Photographer Thomas Jorian, The Stalkers of Pripyat, Ukraine, and A Visit to Poveglio Island.

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Conspiracies

August 5, 2019

Ok so my husband basically called me a conspiracy nut last night even though I maintain most of my beliefs (the ones I was discussing, anyway) are critical but sound and defensible.  This one, however, miiiiiiiight be valid?  Anyway, I saw a headline today about how Ancestry.com has teamed up with a German archives to digitalize an enormous swathe of records as pertained to the Holocaust.  I immediately thought of how Ancestry.com (as many online genealogy outfits are) is a Mormon outfit: as in, founded by two Mormons, based in Utah, etc.  It is frequently described as a “Mormon company” although it isn’t technically owned by the Church.  Mormons are into genealogy because of their belief in what’s called vicarious or posthumous baptism, in which a current church member can be baptized as a proxy for a deceased family member.  Well, in theory, that’s what’s supposed to happen: as ex-Mormon whistleblower named Helen Radkey discovered, Mormons have also posthumously baptized the Joan of Arc, Josef Stalin, Jesus, 9/11 attackers, and the grandparents of Donald Trump, among others. They have a particularly ugly track record with Holocaust victims: they’ve baptized Simon Wiesenthal’s grandparents and, as recently as 2012, Anne Frank, not for the first time.  So I think that like, if you want to deal with historical Holocaust records, the Mormons are maybe not your best bedfellows.  JUSSAYIN.

Conversations With Social Workers

August 2, 2019

EOB: How are you?

ID: I’m bored.  You?

EOB: I was super bored but then today I did an appropriate adult job (no idea if they have those in the US, basically it’s someone who sits in police interviews for people who are considered vulnerable to make sure the police don’t beat confessions out of them or anything) for a girl who attacked an A&E nurse then threw her shoe at the police during the interview so they took her back to the cell so she flooded the cell and shit on the floor.

EOB: I was no longer bored.

Great Celebrity Sightings

July 26, 2019

One time I saw Malcolm Gladwell at my hairdresser.

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Convert to the Cause

July 15, 2019

Recent realizations, somewhat dismaying:

  1. I kind of want to storm Area 51.
  2. I am #freebritney

This Is Good

July 9, 2019

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Overheard on the Street

July 4, 2019

A group of stylish, sophisticated tween girls walking down the street in Brooklyn, and one of them says, “Moms with accents freak me out.”

This Image from the Movie…

June 30, 2019

Midsommar is exactly what I envision goes on in women-only co-working spaces…

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Let it out, girlfriend

Performance Art

June 28, 2019

I’ve always not-so-secretly wanted to be a performance artist––bummed Marina Abramovic’s school is never gonna happen!––and I remember recently one of my only good ideas for an endurance piece, which was embedded in the text of a sort of pretentious poem I wrote a few years ago:

I retype the entire text of War and Peace on stage at the Teatro Colon in Buenos Aires in one sitting.  If a success, I go on tour, and “perform” Infinite Jest atthe Paris Opera House, Remembrance of Things Past at the Teatro La Fenice in Venice, and Gone with the Wind at the Sydney Opera House.  All performances will be recorded and available for purchase through Apple.

I could add more performances, too!  I can think of long books and storied opera houses for days.

 

HAPPY BLOG-IVERSARY!

June 4, 2019

Dear ones!  (I just read a great takedown of Elizabeth Gilbert so that’s tongue-in-cheek.)  Guess what?  This blog has been alive for 10 years TODAY!  Remember this first post, in which I implored people not to read?  Luckily, a vast majority of the planet’s population got that memo!  If you’re still on board with me here, please meet me for drinks at 11 PM tonight at the American Colony Hotel, Louis Vincent Street 1, Jerusalem.  L’chaim!