We Are Living in End Times Part a Million

March 3, 2019

This is sadly not fake news:

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And by “this is not fake news,” I mean these are actual things people have published and thought people would care about recently.

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WHAT

February 28, 2019

How did I not know that Jordan Peele had confirmed that Get Out was a sequel to Being John Malkovich?!

Via Wikipedia:

Following the financial and critical success of the 2017 film Get Out, varying fan theories arose delving into the social horror themes of the film. In December of that year, the film’s writer/director/producer Jordan Peele had an interview with Vanity Fair in which he discussed the major fan theories surrounding the film, confirming which of the most popular were true and false. Peele stated that he and Being John Malkovich director Spike Jonzehad discussed the theory that Get Out was a secret stand-alone sequel to Being John Malkovich, and, although admitting that Get Out was never conceived as a sequel to Being John Malkovich or thought of as such until after the film was released, Peele stated that since hearing the theory both himself and Jonze viewed the connection as both films being set in the same continuity, saying that “as far as I’m concerned, it’s true”.[47]

The theory states that Catherine Keener‘s “Maxine” in Being John Malkovich is the same character as “Missy” in Get Out; Being John Malkovichconcludes with Maxine and Lotte raising a child fathered by John Malkovich, but unbeknownst to them, the spirit of Craig is trapped inside the child’s mind. With the portal to Malkovich’s mind officially closed, they sought out other avenues for mind-transplant experimentation, eventually coming across Roman Armitage (Richard Herd), a neurosurgeon. Lotte entered the body of Dean Armitage (Bradley Whitford), Roman’s son, and Emily, combined with the spirit of Craig, living in his own “Sunken Place”, grows up to become the malevolent sociopath that is Rose Armitage (Allison Williams), all completely complicit in the scheme.[48][49][50] Regarding his video about the theory in the January 2018 issue of Empire, Peele expressed interest in casting John Malkovich in a Get Out sequel, stating that it would be “cool” to “do the full trilogy”.[51]

Weirdly, Yes

February 20, 2019

From a media-related listserv:

Do you wish you could express the joy and mystery of science through the medium of Peeps? Enter The Open Notebook’s Science-Themed Peeps Diorama Contest.

New Fashion Inspo

February 18, 2019

The Amish have been fashion fodder before, but I’m going to do one better and declare that my new look this summer is MEXICAN MENNONITE.

Yes, there are Mennonites in Mexico, approximately 100,000 of them, mostly in Chihuahua and Durango.  They’re from Russia via Canada, the former of which might explain the cool headscarves these little girls wear.  Their clothes seem to differ from their Midwestern American counterparts in that the dresses are brighter and more often patterned, the hats are big, and the sleeves can sometimes be short.    The dresses look like Batsheva creations, jo?  Which, in truth, I’m not really that into.  I think I just like these hats!

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By the way, this obsession was brought on by watching Silent Light, a rather amazing film about Chihuahuan Mennonites in Mexico, starring a number of locals there.  Don’t you think there should be a name for movies featuring non-professional actors playing basically/borderline-themselves?  Like, autofiction, but for film?  Examples include: Menashe, Krisha, this film, and many others I don’t have the time to compile here.  If there is a term for this, please do let me know.

Envy

February 15, 2019

I watched this documentary on Netflix the other day about this story––I liked the documentary, but I was so into this story I’d like anything about it, no matter how poorly done.  Anyway, they briefly interview a detective from the Yavapai County Sheriff’s Office who was in charge (I think) of the investigation into the deaths (I tried and failed to take a screenshot of him).  He says, AND I QUOTE, “I’d never even heard of the self-help movement.  I didn’t know there was a self-help movement.”  Never in my life have I envied and pitied someone so much in equal measure!  Ross Diskin might be the most accidentally enlightened man in the universe.

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(This post is categorized as “It Could Be Worse…” because of course it could be worse: you could be James Arthur Ray.)

Anonymous Advice

February 6, 2019
My husband and I are on a huge local parenting listserv––thousands of subscribers, thousands of pages and multiple groups and sub-groups, etc.––and we both get a daily dispatch from the Advice section.  Mostly it’s people asking for pediatrician referrals or the name of a good roofing guy, but occasionally someone writes in anonymously because what they need advice on is sensitive.

Early on in the days of this most recent maternity leave, I was super bored, so I read through all the old anonymous posts, and boy was it entertaining.  There were a lot of repeat issues (fertility problems, requests for therapist recs, nannies being assholes) but some really out there ones.  This is probably my favorite:

Hi – I have a situation with my nanny that I can’t wrap my head around.  She is claiming a spell was put on her a long time ago and it is causing her to not sleep, get sick & be all around miserable feeling.  However, she still comes to work and is doing a good job, always has & my daughters adore her.  She is in the midst of trying to get help through spiritual guidance.  To date I have not worried a second about my children.  My perspective is there is some mind over matter going on and maybe some mental issues?  However, this is a perspective that doesn’t believe in spirits & black magic.  Has anyone been through this? How understanding as a employer should I be?  I wouldn’t get fired for seeing a therapist, but after what happened on the UWS I am a bit nervous.  Any advice would be much appreciated.  My nanny is from Trinidad. Thank you! 

Honestly, though, the best part might have been how half the responses were like “These beliefs are part of indigenous Caribbean cultures!” and the other half were like, “I think it’s offensive to assume Caribbean people are unsophisticated and still believe in witchcraft!”

 

Peak Brooklyn

January 24, 2019

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Chapter Titles From The Favourite

January 10, 2019

 

  1.  This Mud Stinks
  2. I Do Fear Confusion and Accidents
  3. What an Outfit
  4. A Minor Hitch
  5. What if I Should Fall asleep and Slip Under
  6. Stop Infection
  7. Leave That I Like It
  8. I Dreamt I Stabbed You in the Eye

Being Woke Never Solved Shit

January 7, 2019

Remember when you were a child and you just read funny books about animals and you didn’t really think much of it?  But now it’s 2019 and you’re an adult and aware of things like colonialism, and then you read Babar and Curious George to your kid and you think, “Hm, the white man captures the animal from his happy jungle home and forces him to conform to societal norms he doesn’t understand, and fetishizes him or locks him up when he fails to follow the rules?  Is this just a veiled commentary on the history of white oppression in foreign territories?  Is Babar just a stand-in for Pocahontas, who was paraded throughout 17th century England as the ‘civilized savage’?  If George––human name, btw––were a person would he end up in a human zoo?  Oh, for fuck’s sake.  Liberalism is why we can’t have nice things!”

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ICYMI, it says “In the evening, after dinner, [Babar] tells the Old Lady’s friends all about his life in the great forest.”

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Curious George’s curiosity gets him fucking POACHED.

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Sure, it LOOKS innocent and fun, but the white man runs the zoo.

 

Snail Glasses

December 27, 2018

This is a cool picture by a photographer named Iringo Demeter.

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Warby Parker’s latest.