Archive for November, 2009

I’m on the Left

November 28, 2009

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Am I Sick?!

November 28, 2009

Okay, so I know everyone’s panties are in a wad because of these aspiring reality show stars crashing the state dinner, but I think it’s a) hilarious, according to my sick side and b) sort of a good thing, according to my practical one.  (These two overlap somewhere masochistic and fun, like piercing your own ears.)  Allow me to elaborate:

So first of all, I suppose it’s necessary that I mention to you that I don’t follow politics.  I actively do not participate, which, if you ask me, is better than passively participating, which seems to me what everyone else appears to do.  I was raised by a libertarian father and a politically apathetic mother, so I was educated in the school of All Politics Is Bullshit, and the older I get, the more I believe it, genuinely.  Now, at the ripe old age of twenty-five, I see all politics (and sometimes life as a whole, though not nearly on such a depressing, nihilistic level, thanks to therapy) as this kind of cannibalistic meta-theater performance.  Congressmen get together and chatter chatter chatter and nothing happens.  Everyone gets dressed to the nines and bows to the Japanese president and we (the audience) cheer our approval or hiss our disapproval regardless of any real consequence, simply because we need to release our own emotions on to the symbolic vehicles, aka politicians.  And this charade continues forever and ever, and those who want to follow the laws, will do so, and those who don’t, won’t, and this is a system to which we’re all ascribing unless we simply choose not to.  AKA turn off CNN and opt to finger paint instead.

How appropriate, then, that two reality show wannabes crashed the state dinner…aren’t they really just calling attention to the farce upon which the system is based?  It’s a wonder a camera crew doesn’t follow around members of the Obama administration already, take them inside closets for “confessionals.”

“I gotta tell you guys, Malia is really acting out these days…plus with all the flack I’m getting for health care stuff, man, I’m stressed.  Spark it up.”

And again, sorry to get all pacifist on everyone’s ass, but it seems to me that the biggest statement of trust a political figure/body could make would be to lessen security?  Gandhi went to live in the areas in northern India where the violence between the Hindus and Muslims were the worst because he knew his power as a symbol.  I fail to see how American politicians expect us to let them into our homes when they can’t let us into theirs?

Then again, I’m not afraid of death, especially by assassination.  Fastest way to iconic status.  Obama’s misgivings and faults (human, understandable…there was absolutely NO WAY he could have lived up to the expectations we all had from him, even if he had succeeded in turning deficit into surplus with a wave of his hand and a prayer) would be immediately erased if he were to perish in a fusillade of bullets.  If you really want to unite a nation, tragedy is the way to do it.

Enough of the nauseating theory shit, though…let’s talk about practicality.  CNN (which I catch bits of every once in a while, as my boss is addicted) had a number of INCENSED broadcasters and political officials on, freaking out about how a) these people could have been TERRORISTS and b) now we’re talking about the Salahis, for God’s sake, instead of IMPORTANT things like ABORTION and AFGHANISTAN.  Well to that I say:

1. They are kind of terrorists…what’s more terrifying than a reality TV star?  Have any of you fucks SEEN Breaking Bonaduce?

2. They did everyone a favor, really, if we are concerned about the president’s safety.  Now we know security is too lax, and no one had to suffer as a result.  In fact, I think this ought to be a pretty regular procedure, on airplanes, at state dinners, UN meetings.  Send in someone with a vial of air, a crude drawing of a grenade to keep the security peeps on their toes.  It’s an exercise of sorts.

3. With regard to b), then stop talking about it.

To conclude, crashing parties=always awesome.  It’s just math.  Some weird seventeen year old boys crashed my twenty-fifth birthday party and spent a lot of time looking at themselves in the mirror flexing until my friend told them we were exercising “face control” (look it up) and they had to leave.  But I treasure their memory.  It wouldn’t have been the same without them.

The answer to the titular question is obviously yes.

END SCENE.

Make-up!  I need touch-ups!

Exhibit A: Why Thanksgiving Sucks

November 28, 2009

Exhibits B-… coming soon.

 

A

 

AC: so how was your tgiving

me: oh fiiiiine

i didn’t do anything really
AC: i went off roading in the woods with my 80 year old gma in my uncle bens ford f350 and almost got shot by hunters
BUT
i didnt cry this yera
so all in all, counting it as a victory

Cleaning Out My Computer

November 25, 2009

Work it, Diane Lane!

This Is A Re-Post, Not A Joke!

November 25, 2009

I’m being serious.

A Brilliant Idea Whilst Packing

By itinerantdaughter

I’m on the move again…

I think I’m going to gather together all the single earrings, socks, and shoes (yes, I have two,) dump them in a box, title it “Loss” and try to sell it to the Guggenheim Museum for a million dollars.

UPDATE:


M: i just lost a glove today:(
ID: oh the worst
you should give the remaining one to me for my art project
“loss”
M: i know!
that’s why i told you!
Everyone with one sock/earring/glove/mitten/shoe/uh, anything else?, please contact me so that I can provide with an address to send the remainder to, and also your name, age, and hometown so that you can be credited on the project. Feel free to put on your resume as “collaborator.”
UPDATE #2:
Becca says…I have several single shoes. Probably about 7. I have kept all of them through my last several moves in hopes that one day the other will show up. Will you be keeping an archive so that long lost souls of the shoes (pun!) can still find one another?
Great idea! Please comment here requesting the paperwork and I will send it to you ASAP. You can send the complete forms and the single item to Itinerant Daughter, c/o the Guggenheim Museum, 1071 5th Avenue, New York, NY 10128.

Monday, Monday

November 24, 2009

“The problem with all the scientific manipulators is that somehow they don’t take life seriously enough; in this sense, all science is ‘bourgeois,’ an affair of the bureaucrats.  I think that taking life seriously means something such as this: that whatever man does on this planet has to be done in the lived truth of the terror of creation, of the grotesque, of the rumble of panic underneath everything.  Otherwise it is false.  Whatever is achieved must be achieved from within the subjective energies of creatures, without deadening, with the full exercise of passion, of vision, of pain, of fear, and of sorrow.  How do we know –– with Rilke –– that our part of the meaning of the universe might not be a rhythm in sorrow?  Manipulative, utopian science, by deadening human sensitivity, would also deprive men of the heroic in their urge to victory.  And we know that in some very important way this falsifies our struggle by emptying us, by preventing us from incorporating the maximum of experience.  It means the end of hte distinctively human –– or even, we must say, the distinctively organismic.”

More Clues for WDR Fans

November 23, 2009

Computer was being held hostage at the Apple Store!  Ack, as Cathy would say!

Some specifics for those who want to follow (literally, not twitter-ally) WDR at Art Basel…

1. The Fontainebleu Hotel Pool: Has recently undergone a $1 billion renovation. Walk quickly through the lobby and remain distracted by your Blackberry to throw off the help, letting the guard know you are meeting a VIP for a cocktail. Look for us, we’ll all be reading Seth Price’s How To Disappear In America and filming the surveillance cameras. Paw will be wearing a Speedo.

2. Screening of “Jean-Michel Basquiat: The Radiant Child” at Collins Park: Curated by German Director This Brunner, ABMB will be screening director Tamra Davis’ work-in-progress documentary, which features a never-before-seen interview with Basquiat himself, shot shortly before his death in 1988. Friday, December 4, 8.30 pm, at the Creative Time and ABMB “Social Space” created by LA artist Pei White, titled “Oceanfront”

3. It Ain’t Fair 2009 at O.H.W.O.W. (3100 NW 7 Avenue / Miami / Florida / 33127): A follow up to last year’s exhibition, this show features many of New York’s most sought-after downtown artists, destining the space to be a good time. Feel like you’re in 2006 again (the DOW industrial average is above 10,000, after all); we hear there was an ice cream truck last year, in which WDR’s ID and Liz received a ride back to South Beach. Our picks for this show: Brendan Fowler, Cyprien Gaillard and Agathe Snow.

Finish This Joke

November 18, 2009

PS: Two ghosts sign in to Gchat…

A Little Plath…

November 17, 2009

…prompted by getting stung by a bee, which made me feel wistful and nostalgic for something that I don’t think ever happened…

 

I am exhausted, I am exhausted —
Pillar of white in a blackout of knives.
I am the magician’s girl who does not flinch.
The villagers are untying their disguises, they are shaking hands.
Whose is that long white box in the grove, what have they accomplished, why am I cold.

 

–– from “The Bee Meeting” by Sylvia Plath

A Poet’s Wife

November 17, 2009

"I've never met a writer's wife who wasn't beautiful."