For immediate and widespread release, to be included in any and all newspapers, magazines, blogs, Twitters, ‘zines, LiveJournals, Gchat status messages, gossip rags, ransom notes, epic tomes, message boards, flyers, etc. etc., save Vogue Magazine and any of its international affiliates:
From the people who brought you such events as “Rolling Around Drunk on the Bowery” and “Synchronized Screaming to Midget Porn!,” the WELL DRESSED REFUGEES present: A Weekend Long Happening at Art Basel 2009! To be officially titled, of course, post-eventually.
The Well Dressed Refugees is a group of five nauseatingly attractive, totally outrageous, intellectually pretentious “living” beings who stage happenings wherever they go! What do they do? Whatever they do! It will literally be happening right there. This year they will be appearing Thursday through Sunday at Miami Basel all over the town. Wherever they happen to be, there they are, and if you’re lucky enough to be there, you’re participating, whether you like it or not. Character, spectator, who knows what you are? Or what I am? Or who THEY are?
How will you know where to be? Throw the I-Ching. Meditate on Swami Muktananda. Send out smoke signals. Sacrifice a small animal on a makeshift altar and see a map in the pool of blood. Attempt to ask the spirit of Luigi Pirandello via Ouija Board. Check Twitter –– all of it. Or just close your eyes and imagine yourself THERE. And there you are.
The WDR will videotape the security cameras at the Fountainebleau whilst floating in the pool sipping Vermouth and juices. They will determine the line where that act of renunciation itself becomes indulgent. They will expose the collective baby blogger unconsciousness by evaluating their obscure fashion references –– then blog about it. There may be a naked hamster’s nest. There may be a “spontaneous” dance party to “Funky Kingston” by Toots and the Maytals on Ocean Drive. There may be a visit to Wet Willie’s. There will definitely be Speedos. Chaos will ensue, and if you buy them drinks, they will oblige an encore. And so will you.
Hold on to your Ed Hardy underpants, cause we about to GUY DEBORD YOUR ASS!
The Well Dressed Refugees are…
PS: Commonly known as “Paw,” this cat lover enjoys vagrancy, fantasizing about G.W.S. Trow and will be wearing the aforementioned Speedos. Is currently living his life based upon the philosophical teaching of Deleuze and Guattari.
ID: Baby faced assassin with a penchant for Soviet kitsch and pretty lingerie. Fond of calling things “meta” and telling you to “live your reality,” which is advice you ought to take.
B: Direct descendant of eccentric Viennese royalty. The answer to her question, btw, is, “Yes, I am serious.” Plays well with others, but if you cross her, she will rip the heads off your dolls.
Lady Bob: Jew whose fashion sense has subtle Third Reich undertones. Unparalleled powers of sarcasm. True story: was prom queen in a non-ironic way.
LF: Loves: tats, blunts, questionnaires and sumptuous fabrics. Hates: allergens, the “popo,” and the HBO series Tell Me You Love Me. Last seen urban exploring in NYC’s outer boroughs.
Though don’t expect them to necessarily introduce themselves correctly. Or at all.
The Well Dressed Refugees now have a Twitter! Ch-ch-check it out!
Stay in touch with the magical world for updates on what the WDR are up to…
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