Beginning the Campaign to Attend Art Basel, 2010

Shortly to be sent to PR people at all major, fancy Miami hotels.

To Whom It May Concern:

Greetings!  We are the Well Dressed Refugees, a tribe of breathtakingly beautiful youths with biting wits, fantastic hair-dos and fierce spirits who act as a collective art cooperative devoted to upstaging the simulated “real” with the real real .  We had our debut late this past year at Miami’s Art Basel, during which our highly acclaimed piece “Untitled #76” was in the Convention Center.  Since then, we have exhibited at the Palace Gallery in Brooklyn, New York, ____ in Los Angeles, and Gallerie de Osgood in Miami, published a small ‘zine and begun plans for massive theater pieces that will span numerous countries, socio-economic milieus and spheres of consciousness.
As a hotel employee or manager, you may or may not be aware of the contemporary meta-art world and its focus, which is imbuing everything with a joyous abandon and sense of deep yet whimsical spiritual purpose.  This announcement is made completely devoid of condescension; in fact, we thought that considering you yourself are an artist, creating constantly and prolifically, it might be beneficial for you to be made aware of the glory of your own accomplishments, as well as those of your colleagues (everyone.)  As a group, the WDR has met with unparalleled success in spreading exhilaration and orgasmic confusion wherever we go, and therefore we would like to offer our services as Meta-Artists-in-Residence to you.
The marketing concept of the pretty, mischievous hotel dweller(s) is not a new one.  What would the venerable Plaza Hotel be without plucky little Eloise?  (We have an exact doppelganger, F to the YI.)  Or the Algonquin without the drunkards at the Round Table?  (Repeat last parenthetical.)  The Chelsea without Andy Warhol’s meth head starlets?  (You get the picture.)  BORING, that’s what they’d be.  There is a long tradition of the libertine-in-residence, and with us, you can get five for the price of one!  We can pour drinks, drink drinks, and play bongos.  Plus we can guarantee you some really fantastic and entertaining activities, including but not limited to spontaneous meditation sessions, organizing hotel guests for giant games of Manhunt, and, if you have a pool, synchronized swimming routines complete with flowered caps and old lady nose plugs.  We can also assure a guest appearance by none other than actor-turned-pretentious-performance-art-champion James Franco, a dear friend, and Mickey Rourke, who always bring the ladeez. No assembly required.
A small anecdote, by way of parting: during the weekend of our grand premiere, we saw a pretty though dull-looking girl lapping in the pool at a hotel to remain nameless.  She removed half her bathing suit, exposed her breasts unenthusiastically and sat beneath a small fountain of water looking rather listless and unhappy.  Later on, she confessed to one of us that the hotel “sometimes paid” her to swim around.  Our collective response is: come on, guys, you can do better than that!  Treat your guests like intelligent, post modern beings; bait them with Baudrillard, not boobs!  Not that we’re against a titty flash now and then, but we just want to be upfront about the fact that we set the bar high, and will inevitably attract people just like us: glamorous, immortal, highly cultured and, as our title indicates, blindingly fashionable.
To discuss rates, references and programs in production, please contact ID at

Wishing you filthy dreams and a million cupcakes,


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