I saw that this girl I hate (but secretly want to be, even though I know next to nothing about her) had a byline in the Times and it reopened the wound I incurred when she failed to respond to me re: a writing project some months ago.  Guess I shouldn’t have made a cum joke in my introduction email to The Paris Review?

In other news, I have somehow ended up with two copies of R. Kelly’s autobiography entitled Soula Coaster: The Story of Me.  

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