Siobhan has like, way too much on her plate, because she’s always judging existential competitions (don’t ask), dealing with the commissions for my micrographic art, and answering hate mail.  So––I need a new assistant!  Part time, probably two hours a day, and some on-call hours.  Your sole job is to stand nearby while I write and find––with haste!––the book I need from my library.  Sometimes I’ll know the titles, but more often than not, you’ll be given this type of prompt: “It’s a fat, sort of pinkish paperback and the word ‘waltz’ is in the title.”  I’ll take the applications for this one––I’ve sent Siobhan on vacation.

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