The Holidays Are Creepy

Text from an Unknown Number (Central Los Angeles), at 8:48 PM on Christmas Day: Jesus loves you unconditionally.

Me, at 8:53 PM: So I can do…anything?!

Unknown in Los Angeles, 8:57 : Yep!  Unless you’re gay, then you’re unlovable.

Me, 8:58: Kickass.

Me, 9:08: BTW, who is this?  I got a new phone…

Unknown in Los Angeles, 9:20: Jesus.

Me, 9:22: Oh great, your direct line!  Fuck praying, I’m calling you every time there’s a bump in the road.

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