Online Dating

I love it when my friends online date.  There is an endless opportunity for unfair judgment, impulsive excoriation of character, and ecstatic schadenfraude.  Below is a profile my friend sent me of someone whose (I sincerely hope faux) enthusiasm makes me want to knee him in the balls and assure he never procreates and populates the world with perky babies who spend their free time “discovering Europe.”  Obviously I’m using pseudonymic initials, and those aren’t the real names of his non-profits.


“ASS is passionate, fun and always full of energy.” Hi, I’m ASS – driven, inspired, adventurous… I’m usually having fun, whether it’s business (I’d do my job for fun!), hanging out with friends and family, or traveling (biking, discovering europe, learning new cultures, etc). I like genuine people who are bright, passionate and care about making a difference.


For fun I’ll hang by the beach or water with friends, travel, bike, grab dinner with friends, relax on a boat, spend time with my family and my cute cousins, read, or do something creative. I’m blessed to be able to spend a lot of time with the best comedians and business people in the world, doing what I love.


Busy people get more done…


1. I’m a comedian performing in clubs in NYC and sometimes on TV.


2. I own a few startup companies and I run conferences that help doctors and charities serve people better. We pack hundreds of leaders into a theater and inspire them to make change (and take gobs of their money….hey, life is expensive).


3. For good karma and fun, I run two non-profit organizations (Self-Satisfying Services Ltd. and Ego-Enhancing Volunteers) with friends…mainly to make up for all our bad behavior. 😉


BUT….I never take myself too seriously. I spend a ton of time hanging out with friends, pride myself on being lazy, and having fun.


I think my favorite part is when he talks about his ways to relax.  “I hang out on a boat.”  Um, fuck you?


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