Catalog Poetry

We received at my office the gorgeous catalog for a publishing company called Sceptre, which is celebrating its 25th anniversary.  Numerous writers wrote little pieces about the number 25.  Below is my favorite:

25 Collective nouns for un/common things.

a reversal of mirrors

a slump of slippers

a forest of rubber gloves

a telescope of toilet rolls

a voodoo of pincushions

a dream of pillowcases

an expression of pumpkins

a bouquet of odd socks

a niggle of crosswords

a crumple of carrier bags

a regime of paperclips

an armament of cutlery

a cloud of used tissues

a duel of toothbrushes

a migration of pens

a convalescence of dressing gowns

a fable of apples

a sob of raindrops

a passage of newspapers

an alarm of clocks

a whirlpool of wooden spoons

a clacker of stilettos

a thud of potatoes

an eviction of bin liners

–– Jess Richards


My Attempt

a prayer of annotations

a bottle of triplets

a library of oysters

a backlog of icicles

a continent of mistakes

a garden of scarves

a page of orgasms

a whisper of paintings

a zoo of hearts

a video of persimmons

a meal of schoolchildren

a dance of questions

an orb of horses

a blanket of thimbles

a concert of nail files

a palace of statistics

a harvest of fireworks

an exercise of massacres

an avalanche of emeralds

a funeral of attics

a contest of spirals

an umbrella of kittens

a tea bag of wood chips

a protest of pinkies

a blitzkrieg of hedges


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