Guide to Being Fashionably Late

In a small break from Yayoiyama!: All Polka Dots All The Time!, we here at ID present you with a necessary tutorial, put together with the help of our friend Dumbo Domestic (no, she’s not an elephant):

The Guide to Being Fashionably Late

Here in New York City, one often hears people talk about being “fashionably late.”  But how late, exactly, is fashionably late, and how late is just plain rude?  Below is a rough guide, by events, of how long past the stroke of whatever you can show up:

Weddings: Usually wedding ceremonies have a cocktail hour or something of the like beforehand.  Consult the invitation.  If no cocktail hour is listed, then aim for 10 minutes late max, otherwise you have to endure the supreme awkwardness of trying to reach your seat by walking stealthily behind the flower girl.

Engagement parties: 15-20 minutes

Dinner parties –– at a home: 15 minutes

Dinners –– at a restaurant: 15 minutes

Cocktail party –– where you are one of more than 15 guests: 45 minutes

Cocktail party –– where are you are one of fewer than 15 guests: 30 minutes

Doctor’s appointment: 5 minutes

Funeral: These rarely start on time, but in the name of propriety, my guess would be 20 minutes.

Block parties: 1 hour

Outdoor movie screenings: 20 minutes

Indoor movie screenings –– if you like previews: 5 minutes

Indoor movie screenings –– if you don’t give a shit about previews: 15 minutes

Seances: 10 minutes

Interventions: 10 minutes, unless Jeff VanVonderen is running it, in which case FIVE MINUTES EARLY

Diner en Blanc: 25 minutes

PS 1 Pop Rallies: 30 minutes

Ballet, symphony, or theatrical productions: 5 minutes tops, otherwise you have to watch on that dopey little TV screen

Dance class: 5 minutes, otherwise the teacher embarrasses you in front of your peers

Jury duty: 10 minutes, because they really don’t start exactly on time even when they say they do

A business meeting: 5 minutes

A book launch party: 30 minutes

Comedy Show: 10 minutes, lest you get heckled

Your bail hearing: 0 minutes

Will certainly add to this as time goes on.  Open to suggestions, as well.


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