Archive for December, 2009

This Is Breathtaking

December 15, 2009

A Confession

December 11, 2009

I want to write DFW a long love letter but would be way to embarrassed even if I tried to do it for no audience…what would I say to the bard?

Just Because

December 9, 2009

“His soul swooned slowly as he heard the snow falling faintly through the universe and faintly falling, like the descent of their last end, upon all the living and the dead.”

Absence

December 9, 2009

I’ve been away!  I’m so sorry, my little nothings!  My absence can be explained in the following blurb from New York magazine:

The [Ten] Greatest Excesses of Art Basel 2009

1. David LaChapelle’s Art Deco “Happy New Year 1932.” As the party began, synchronized swimmers in flowered bathing caps and glittering maillots dove into the Raleigh pool and performed “Putting on the Ritz.” Commissioned to do a photo series by the German luxury automaker Maybach ($500,000 per car), LaChappelle hung a nifty giant photo above the bar, showing the car running over someone at a wedding party gone mad. “When we come to care about things too much — art, cars, anything — that’s decadence,” the artist said, waxing philosophic. By the end, the event looked like the birthday party scene from The Rocky Horror Picture Show, except with hundreds of black and silver balloons and less clothing. Anthony Haden-Giuest ended up mostly naked, wearing little other than a party hat.

I was there, though clothed, but not entirely dry the whole time.  Oh, and I got in by crawling beneath some bushes and a table.  God bless the Raleigh.

I once read this Times article about blogging and the fact that it’s an often-abandoned hobby.  I have a complex now, because of that and my favorite Simone Weill quote.

One of my favorite artists this year was Peter Liversidge.  He retroactively stole my proposal ideas!  That didn’t make any sense, but I had the idea before I saw his stuff, which is great.

A proposal by Peter Liversidge

Advertisements in Harper’s Magazine

December 3, 2009

Iceland (Tourism.  Duh.)

The Balvenie –– the Hand Crafted Single Malt

Books, including but not limited to: Reading Jesus by Mary Gordon, Republican Gomorrah: Inside the Movement that Shattered the Party by Max Blumenthal, Empire of Illusion: The End of Literary and the Triumph of the Spectacle by Chris Hedges, New York Revisited by Henry James, You Can’t Be President: The Outrageous Barriers to Democracy in America by John R. MacArthur, Euonoia by Christian Bok (see below,) Asylum: Inside the Closed World of the State Mental Hospitals by Christopher Payne (with an essay by Oliver Sacks), Why We Cooperate by Michael Tomasello (synopsis: Understanding cooperation as a distinctly human combination of innate and learned behavior. (my analysis: yawn!))

LOTS of clean energy stuff

A biographical documentary about Joan Baez (biodoc?  Is that a genre?), as seen on PBS

StoneSoup, the literary magazine by children.  (Ms. calls it: “The New Yorker of the 8-13 set.”)

Diva-licious, a compilation of songs by female jazz artists like Diana Krall, released by NPR

David Morgan Purveyors, whose catalog includes, “Northwest Coast and Celtic jewelry, Akura pure fur felt hats, Filson outdoor clothing and much more.

Pajama-grams, which are pretty much exactly what they sound like

The Kindle!

$14 European berets

Delta

Rosetta Stone

Small text ads in the back:

“Form a real relationship with someone in extreme poverty.  Transformation through friendship, understanding and help.”

“Without doubt, the finest domino sets you can buy.  Great gift, with engravable [sic?] brass plate.”

“Philosophy of Heterosexuality –– Politically-incorrect ideas of a cigar-smoking old man.  http://www.philosophyofheterosexuality.com”

“REDEFINING RECOVERY.  Navigating the downslope of Peak Everything.”

“WHAT CORPORATE AMERICA IS REALLY  ABOUT: Read my true account at celinem@aol.com”

a nudist colony

a ghostwriter

A dating service exclusively for “graduates, students, and faculty of the Ivies, Seven Sisters, Stanford, U of Chicago, and others.”  (Others?!  Any others?  DeVry?)

Upton Tea Imports –– Purveyor of the World’s Finest Tea

“Unorthodox Erotica” Catalog for $2

“The Ultimate in Spanking Erotica:

‘Spanking Girl’s Backdoor Man’ starring Madison Young, Tom Byron, and beautiful Snow, includes every sex and spanking thrill.  $48 minutes.  VHS or DVD.  $24.95.  Color spanking brochure collection $5.”

My First Book Cover Photo

December 3, 2009

Haha, you can't see me!

Hm.

December 3, 2009

So I mentioned in one of my earliest posts the book written entirely without the letter “e”…there is also a French book that is over 500 pages long –– but only one sentence.  Now I’ve come across an ad in Harper’s Magazine for Eunoia, a new book by Christian Bok that, as the tagline implies (?), has five chapters, and only uses one vowel per chapter.

“Seven years in the making.  Five chapters.  One vowel.

Awkward grammar appals a craftsman.  A Dada bard as daft as Tzara damns stagnant art and scrawls an alpha (a slapdash arc and a backward zag) that mars all stanzas and jams all ballads (what a scandal.)  A madcap vandal crafts a small black ankh –– a handstamp that can stamp a wax pad and at last plant a mark that sparks an ars magna (an abstract art that charts a phrasal anagram.)  A pagan skald chants a dark saga (a Mahabaharata), as a papal cabal blackballs all annals and tracts, all dramas and psalms: Kant and Kafka, Marx and Marat.  A law as harsh as a fatwa bans all paragraphs that lack an A as a standard hallmark.”

What do we think, children?  Mockumentary?