Archive for January, 2010

Ayayay!

January 5, 2010

Writer H. G. Wells, a former acolyte of Henry James’, writes of James’ novels:

like a church lit but without a congregation to distract you, with every light and line focused on the high altar. And on the altar, very reverentially placed, intensely there, is a dead kitten, an egg-shell, a bit of string. … It is leviathan retrieving pebbles. It is a magnificent but painful hippopotamus resolved at any cost, even at the cost of its dignity, upon picking up a pea, which has got to the corner of its den.

So Deep!

January 5, 2010

This is what this heroin addict on Intervention said to his family by way of a smooth goodbye:

“So, I gotta get going…I’ll be at the hotel, you know, I gotta do what I gotta do, and so I’m going to do that.”

(New category: Excuses?)

I Triple Dog Dare You

January 2, 2010

…to Google Image “Colombian Necktie.”

Update: Tried it.  Not too many terrible results.  Just imagine, though!

I feel different!

January 1, 2010

Nothing says, “Happy New Year!” like a little magical realism!

Tuesday Afternoon Broadcast

Can a simple seed cure cancer?  A man from Queens says yes.

KPVU visited Hector Gonzalez at the liquor store he runs on Astoria Boulevard where he told us his story.

Gonzalez, 53, says he was tending to his vegetable garden one morning when he noticed seeds falling off of the old tree by his fence.  He describes them as being light pink and perfectly round.  His son Tomas claims that when he looked out his bedroom window at night he saw them glowing in the dark. By the end of the month little piles of the seeds had surrounded the tree.

Adventurous Gonzalez urged his wife, Juanita, to use the mysterious seeds in her cooking.

“My heart said, ‘Hector, these are to eat’ and so I listened.”

The Gonzalez family soon received some terrible news.  Gonzalez’s mother, who lived in the family’s foyer, was slowly dying of pancreatic cancer.

“El dolor era insoportable,” Serena Gonzalez, 84, told us.

But after two months of a steady diet of dishes made entirely from the glowing pink seeds, Serena’s cancer had all but disappeared.  The medical world is baffled by her miraculous recovery.

“It’s unfathomable,” Doctor I. L. Mackenzie, head of endocrinology at Queens Hospital says.

Since Serena Gonzalez’s recovery, thousands of desperate cancer patients have flocked to the tiny red house on 33rd Avenue in Astoria.  The local Days Inn has a waiting list for rooms and some determined souls have started camping out in local parks only to be chased out by the police.  They return nearly every evening.