Archive for the ‘Lists’ Category

Residents of the Uncanny Valley

July 29, 2009

My dear friend PS (who you may remember from the Zoloft egg conversation) introduced me to the idea of the Uncanny Valley. Yes, Uncanny in this context is meant to imply all the Freudian. In his own words, the Uncanny Valley is populated by, “things that are a certain distance away from us that are sort of creepy and yet we’re comfortable with them because they remind us of something…a nostalgia, perhaps…like cabbage patch dolls=our childhood. They remind us of ourselves, of humans, but a little too much to be comfortable so they create a sort of revulsion.”

He contradicted himself, I see, but I hope it makes some sense, nonetheless. We’re comfortable with them yet they create a sort of revulsion, a kind that might make us a little nauseated but we aren’t totally turned off. Like the visual/psychological equivalent of whole milk, for many.

Things that Exist in the Uncanny Valley

Amanda Bynes

Puppets that are human-like (the cast of the now-defunct Avenue Q, par example)

PS: Toy Story — approaching uncanny

Baby chimps in diapers

Artistic renderings of babies, and even just infants themselves, seem to fall quickly into the Uncanny Valley. Have you ever seen that infomercial for the program Your Baby Can Read? Absolutely the most uncanny thing I’ve ever seen. One year olds READING! Terrifying.

www.yourbabycanread.com

Boy bands

Dolls that come to life (Twilight Zone’s Talking Tina, Chuckie)

Stephen Hawking, and other computers that read
The guy next to me in this computer lab just audibly farted…

The Ten Best Gifts I’ve Ever Received, in Order of Greatness

July 18, 2009

1. My friend G wrote me a six-movement piece for steel string guitar. He writes:

“Like yourself, they are very dense works in a very small package. As usual, it’s avant-garde music so you probably wont’ be whistling the tunes in the shower, but I hope you enjoy!”

2. Another friend gave me his sister’s old Caboodle, which is a great carry on bag when you fly.

3. Trapped in the Closet: The Big Package (Chapters 1-24)

4. Midget porn, given to me by my boss

5. A first edition of Lolita, along with a really nice letter

6. Trips (Israel, Brazil), by my parents

7. A mini-knife on a necklace

8. Fresh Direct

9. Netflix

10. A first edition of The Little Prince

(One person is responsible for three of these, and after writing this, I think I may send him a love letter…)

Cheap Thrills for Masochists

July 9, 2009

Noise music (try Nuits by Iannis Xenakis)

Ulysses

cold showers

Watching Freddie Highmore (Finding Neverland) well up and weep

Watching gymnastics*

Hanging out at one of the following places: tattoo parlors (preferably ones in which the layout is rather open, late at night), quickie wedding chapels (you’d kind of have to be in Vegas for this, I guess), or the kitchen of a really cheap Chinese restaurant

The television show I Shouldn’t Be Alive

Tweezing

Google-Imaging “Regurgitation”, although there are a lot of random words that would work for this one

The Songs That Best Sum Up My Life

June 26, 2009

Because “theme song”s sounds lame.

“You Don’t Know How it Feels to Be Me” by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers

“Don’t Be Scared” by A.R.E. Weapons

“Dig a Pony” by the Beatles

“This Cloud” by Bush (nod to my moody teenage years)

“Hospital Beds” by Cold War Kids

“Closer” by Nine Inch Nails (Ha!)

“I Want to Live in a Wigwam” by Cat Stevens

“Dedicated Follower of Fashion” by the Kinks

“I Want to Know What Love Is” by Foreigner (is she joking?  I can’t tell…if not, that’s pretty sad…wait, seriously?)

“What Is Life” by George Harrison

And the grand, choreographed dance finale to my movie-life:

“Papa Was a Rolling Stone” by the Temptations

Overrated Things

June 11, 2009

San Francisco

Community Service

Skiing

Jobs

Emotions

Rationality/Intelligence

Sample Sales

Encores/standing ovations

Cocaine

One night stands

Purell

Angelina Jolie

Postal Service (the band, not the actual U.S. Postal Service)

Compliments

Thanksgiving