Archive for the ‘Not a Poet’ Category

A Proposal to Wander

April 14, 2010

Dear T,

I hope you are the right person to contact about this.  If not, please forgive my intrusion.

Shakespeare & Co is a storied establishment (no pun intended) so I assume you’re accustomed to receiving emails rife with cliched declarations of love both for your shop and the city it calls home, but forgive me if I add one more to your inbox.  Three years ago, I made a friend during a two month study abroad program in Paris.  We became inseparable and sought to fulfill our insatiable appetites for all things Parisian together.  We basked in the summer sun in the Jardin Luxembourg, drank red wine and ate steak at Cafe des Flores, left fire red lipstick marks on Oscar Wilde’s grave and feted in the streets as Zidane led France to one World Cup victory after another until the head butt heard round the world.   At this point in my life, I was already married to writing.  I was finishing up with a creative writing and English literature major at Columbia in New York and was intent upon becoming a slightly odd and definitely obsessive wordsmith.  I knew that my professional ambitions (“To write”) were seen as cute, at best, and naive and delusional and anachronistic, at worst, but I felt, and still feel, that this was not my decision to make.

B and I, along with the rest of our French Culture class, were taken to S & Co on a field trip by our teacher, MB, a jolly, round black man who was almost eerily fond of me.  Bruce was living in Paris on some type of academic scholarship (I believe he taught at Colby College in Maine?  I could look it up but I’m the last person in the world not on Facebook.)  He had the enviable itinerant life of a professor, and he introduced us to his favorite spots in the city: Montmartre, the Holocaust Memorial, Kilometro Zero, and S & Co.  My bibliophiliac heart skipped three beats upon entering and seeing rows and rows of colorful tomes.  My fingers danced lightly over the bindings.  I swooned at the sight of the love wall adorned with unabashed confessions of affection.  I thought of the Borges quote, “I can only sleep when I am surrounded by books,” and thought of the depth of REM I would surely achieve if allowed to slumber in that little cubby.

My last week in Paris, BA had gone home and I was aimless, as a good young American in Paris should be.  It took me a few days to muster up the courage to get back to S & Co.  I felt the way toward the shop you would toward an adolescent crush that didn’t know you existed, and so I put myself in the periphery of it and hoped to be noticed.  I watched the lovely, lanky kids carry a new bed into the shop and saw Sheila (I believe that is her name…small, slight, blond?) flit around speaking in English and French, shuffling papers, smiling widely.  I wanted to say something to her, but what could I say?  “I’m enamored of all this”?  So I wrote a note on a scrap of paper in my miniature handwriting and left it on her desk.  The last line was, “I hope you’ll have me some day.”

Cut to: three years later.  I’ve been writing in one capacity or another since I graduated from school.  I’ve been slaving over a book for a few years, which in the next year or so will finally come to fruition.  I’ve done tiny freelance work, written bar reviews, worked for a literary agent, contributed to magazines, helped transcribe and edit interviews for the souvenir book for the Broadway musical Xanadu! (That was actually pretty hysterical, and if I ever get famous I think someone ought to “discover” that piece and declare it my unsung masterpiece.  I can send it on if you want, which you know you do…)   I just wrote a piece for a New York-based magazine called Ghost about hunting Burmese python in Florida’s Everglades, as I’m living in Miami right now with my boss, a very successful, very Italian true crime writer who has Lou Gehrig’s Disease.  My duties for him are numerous: edit, take dictation, research, act as surrogate child for him and wife, feed and clothe and operate ventilator as needed, boost ego every 1-3 seconds, and answer phone in case one of his pals, most of whom acted on The Sopranos, calls (art imitating life imitating…)   Imagine Tuesdays with Morrie if Morrie were a wannabe mafioso.  Actually, BA suggested the title of my book about this experience be Tuesdays with Fucking Morrie, but we’re both assuming Mitch Albom would sue.  For her part, Becca has been nurturing the the souls of tomorrow teaching nursery school up at our alma mater and writing a column about love and relationships (yes, like Sex and the City, sans the insipid questions.)  She’s beginning work on her PhD in clinical psychology in the fall and wants the chance to scribble down all the short stories that have been brewing inside her brain before she has to turn her attention to papers and theses.  She can think of no place better to write without limits than in the city that most inspires her, in a place whose very foundation is inspiration.

The point: we desperately want to come stay at Shakespeare and Company.  We will sleep in any of the little beds in the shop, and in fact, will only take up one as a pair.  Consider us one blond sprite, not two.  We are both very small and nimble and willing to work late hours pouring hot tea for thirsty bards or ringing up purchases made by silly American college students who remind us of what we used to be, once upon a time.  We will pray to the texts originally owned by Sartre and de Beauvoir, and cry tears of literary joy by the banks of the Seine at night.  We will be oh-so-grateful to add this to our poetic resumes (between “hunted for twenty foot snakes in swamps in the name of narrative” and “fell in love doing the Proust Questionnaire in the wee hours.”)  We are lucky to have sampled once from the movable feast while we were young, but I hate to say it: we’re still hungry.

So…will you have us?  And if so, when can we come?  We can be ready at the drop of a pillbox hat.

Regardless of the answer…

Nous t’aimons,

ID and BA

PS If it would increase our chance of being welcomed, we’d be happy to print out this note, soak it in tea bags to give it that antiquated look, spritz it with perfume (Guerlain?  Chanel?) and deliver it by mail.

A Question I’ve Asked Many Times But Never Had Answered

April 6, 2010

How long do you have to spend in one place to say that you have “lived” there?  Is it different for each town, metropolis, mountaintop?  Or is there a standard?  “Three months.”

Poem for JA

March 20, 2010

Who is in Guatemala right now…

Appointment

I have penciled in the muse
for four-thirty tomorrow afternoon.
It will cost me $275
for a standard forty-five minutes.

I think I could keep going with this one?

This is a gift in response to a haiku that JA wrote me, but I will have to get his permission before publishing his lovely work here…

Augury

March 1, 2010

I am having difficulty structuring the book I am writing and in an effort to see the layout more clearly, have pasted Post-It notes corresponding to sections all over my wall.  I just move them around when I think I have an idea of how I want things organized.  I say this like it’s no big deal, like I just do it when the muse sings to me, but it’s far more torturous than that; if there were a video camera in my room, the viewer could watch hours of me pacing in and out of the room, making hand gestures, talking to myself, occasionally storming out the door in a huff.  Thank God my roommate was gone the entire time.  I live on the ocean and oftentimes keep the terrace door open at night and even though the terrace is off the other room, the Post-Its still get blown off the walls and end up scattered on the floor.

So today I was shuffling around in my leopard print Snuggie (that’s right) and I heard the sound of paper against concrete and looked down and there was the Post-It labeled “The End” sticking ever so tenuously to the bottom of my Snuggie.  What does it all mean?

A Found Text

February 22, 2010

Either the Best or the Worst Idea I’ve Ever Had

A found text, by ID.

Look!  I found a Amazon.com review for Lost in the Cosmos: The Last Self-Help Book:

“The late Walker Percy’s mordant contribution to the self-help book craze of the 1980s deals with the heavy abstraction of the Western mind and speculates about why writers may be the most abstracted and least grounded of all. (Before taking up novel writing, Percy was a medical doctor who became a patient in the very institution where he had worked.) The book disappeared for a time. Now it’s back in print. Take the quizzes in it, then take a walk–you need to be back in the world before you write another word.

Reality Check

February 12, 2010

Would you automatically hate a piece of writing if its final sentence was:

“Everything is in the past now, but the memories will last forever.”

?

Me, Wishing I Were Soto Presentando

February 12, 2010

“The Most Romantic Thing is Failure,” (2010 – ) in which I cut my hair like Jean Seaberg’s, move to Paris, drink a lot of red wine, meet with minor success as a writer but never really feel respected as an intellectual, die alone and young-ish but still really pretty and attain instant cult stardom.

Original below:

“Any Number of Things at Once, all Contradictory,” (2010) labanotated dance performed in the background of an 18-person dinner party onstage.  (http://twitter.com/sotopresentando)

Schadenfraude?

February 5, 2010

Right now on television

a figure skater

is choking.

Cry For Help!

February 5, 2010

I’m listening to unaccompanied Bach partitas and watching Halloween III on mute and watching a Superbowl blimp float outside my window.  HELP ME!

A Poem Is

February 3, 2010

KC: poem! impressive!
ID: ha!

don’t get too excited

it’s one line
i only write mini-poems
KC: a poem is a poem? is a poem?
ID: :)THAT was a poem