Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

New Service Offered by Yours Truly

July 1, 2010

7/1-7/14: Break-Up Management Services (Five Boroughs)


Date: 2010-07-01, 1:30PM EDT
Reply to: event-ethu8-1820900783@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]


Tired of doing the break-up dance?

Having a hard time getting over your last relationship?

Even though intellectually you know it’s over, have you remained emotionally enmeshed?

Contact Break-Up Management Services, Ltd. We are no nonsense experts at the efficient break-up and can help you make this as quick and painless as possible. We’re certified simply by the fact that we’re f&$*ing good at this. Don’t expect coddling; expect results.

Specific treatment and compensation to be discussed upon evaluation, which involves a standard 45 minute session.

  • Location: Five Boroughs
  • it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 1820900783

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Is it just me, or have the security words that you need to type in order to post become more nonsensical as time passes?  Today I had to write “casualties pumpkin”, which actually could be a good band name…

Found

May 28, 2010

In the back of an NYC yellow cab, Tuesday morning, 5/25/10: The Spider’s Web, a literary and arts magazine from Jonathan Edwards College of Yale University, Senior Issue of this year.

A Selection:

“What Shade Can I Lean On”

Where are you garden muse

Darling in the trees

I’ve felt your touch in the wind

But still

I cannot quench the fear

That you are not a mystery

But an absence

And my absence follows yours

For what ground do I have to stand on

If this earth is so phantasml

What shade can I lean in

–– Hayley Johnson

Advice

May 17, 2010

How best to begin my campaign to make myself Karl Lagerfeld’s letter delivery girl?

My Home for the First Two Weeks of July

May 10, 2010

"I can't keep track of each fallen robin..."

Imagine the Conversation!

May 10, 2010

Just saw Woody Allen, Soon-Yi Previn and Diane Keaton having Mother’s Day dinner!

Awww

May 7, 2010

I urge you to please notice when you are happy, and exclaim or murmur or think at some point, “If this isn’t nice, I don’t know what is.”

–– Kurt Vonnegut on Twitter.

Venera Will Appear Today!

May 6, 2010

re: SPAM

Fred Says:
May 4, 2010 at 5:27 pm | Reply

I have contacted Venera. She is real and we are in love. (NOT, Really!!) She did say that she is coming to see me on Thursday; see for yourself!!?

“How are you?

I hope that you have good day and you have good morning today.

I hasten to write to you the letter to inform information about my ticket.

But I can fly to you only to Thursday!!! On May, 6th!!!

Today I already have the information on my ticket, and I can send it to you.

E-ticket:

Russia, Moscow (MOW) Flight to Philadelphia, PA (PHL)

Departing: Thu, May 6, 2010

Returning: Sun, Jun 6, 2010 | 1 Adult

Airline: KLM Royal Dutch Airlines

Flight 3105 operated by Aeroflot / Flight 6035 operated by Delta Air Lines / 5682 operated by Delta Air Lines

Departure Time: 10:25am

Moscow, Russian Federation (SVO)

Arrival Time: 7:31pm

Philadelphia, PA (PHL)

Total Travel Time: 17hrs 6min – 2 Stops

Change planes in Amsterdam, Netherlands (AMS)

Change planes in Detroit, MI (DTW)

I very much hope that this date and time will be convenient for you and we can have our meeting.

Other details of my ticket I can receive all on Thursday morning, when I shall pay my ticket in the airport.

You understand me?”

I am just waiting for the hook; i.e. I need money to buy my ticket, hotel, or whatever. I can’t believe that any woman would travel hundreds of mile to meet a stranger, with the expectations of stay with them a day, let alone a month. Venera must be crazy, desperate, or the best con-artist in history.

Anyway, I’ll let you know if she in facts does exist and shows up.

  • itinerantdaughter Says:
    May 4, 2010 at 7:04 pm | Reply So WordPress sends me an email asking if I’d like to approve this comment and I’m kind of pissed that I can’t respond: DUH!

    You have GOT to keep me informed about Venera! If possible, take pictures. The g-rated kind. I guess.

  • Fred Says:
    May 5, 2010 at 2:05 pm | Reply I have photo now. She is a very attractive woman; that is, if these are her true likeness.

  • Fred Says:
    May 5, 2010 at 8:41 pm | Reply I honestly believe that they are from a modeling social network advertisement site. They are quite professionally done. Do you have an address where I can send the photos ?
    Nevertheless, I haven’t heard from Venera for a day and a half. The true shall be revealed on Thursday; that is if she shows up?

    • itinerantdaughter Says:
      May 5, 2010 at 9:07 pm | Reply We are at itinerantdaughterandson@gmail.com. Yes, I have a brother.

      TOMORROW IS THE DAY OF RECKONING! Try to do some fun things like show her the sights in your city and then fashion a photo montage out of it, you know, like, “V and I in front of the Liberty Bell,” “Eating cheesesteaks! Yum!” Etc. You’re in Philly, yes?

  • A Thought for My Tomorrow

    May 2, 2010

    “What more ghastly image can be called up than that of a man betrayed by his body who, simply because he did not die in time, lives out the comedy while awaiting the end, face to face with that God he does not adore, serving him as he served life, kneeling before a void and arms outstretched toward a heaven without eloquence that he knows to be also without depth?”

    ~Camus.

    I Know What I Want to Do

    April 10, 2010

    I want to be Karl Lagerfeld’s errand girl…

    Guilt!

    March 29, 2010

    Oh, legions of adoring devotees!  How cruel of me to leave you alone for so long!  How dare I disappear for two weeks (more or less) without an e-trace!  How callous and cruel of me!  You probably had no idea how to behave!  But not all rulers are benevolent, eh?

    Allow me to justify.  The reasons for my absence being:

    1. A roommate making aliyah (of sorts) to Rio de Janeiro, and engaging in myriad heated phone conversations in Portuguese.  Yelling in a foreign tongue throws off my concentration.

    2. In relation to 1, packing for above move, as I have to vacate my current home, too, which, when all is said and done, I believe will be a blessing.

    3. Tendinitis!  (To the tune of “Reproduction” from the flick Grease 2.)  I got it in my left wrist, yes, just from typing too much!  I like to say “writing too much” as it makes me sound like less of a computer geek, pushing my glasses up the bridge of my nose, all adnoid voice, “I made it to level Q32 hehehe.”  Also in an attempt to look like less of an ass (this of the pudgy, Cat Fancy-reading secretary variety) I’ve put my ice pack in a Chanel shoe bag (with a Miller Lite wristband I got in a bar for free holding it in place.)

    4. Finishing a book!  Damn, that shit is hard.  Nothing more to say about that.

    5. Regular work.  BOH-ring.

    6. Surveying my adoring citizens about very important matters, such as what they think their brains look like and what their favorite dance scenes in movies are.

    7. Reviewing this book Rock and Hard Places: Travels to Backstages and Frontlines and Assorted Sideshows by Andrew Mueller.  Quite bumbling and very British but not nearly as deplorable as I expected.  He’s also given me an idea of some destinations for my future, most notably Bosnia and Edinburgh during its “festival”…of what, I have no idea:

    “As for Edinburgh, I know I haven’t a hope.  I’ve arrived in the middle of the city’s annual festival, without even any official attachment to the literary component of the event –– and even for big names with bottomless resources, attracting attention in Edinburgh during the festival is difficult, for the fairly fundamental reason that in Edinburgh during the festival it often feels like there are more performers than there are punter.s  For the duration of the festival, the normally famously staid city goes, in the most genial and least pejorative sense of the word, crazy.  By which I mean that if, after the previous Edinburgh Festival I’d attended in 2006, I’d entered some hypothetical contest to find the most bizarre one-line reminiscence of the event, my own submission (‘I hosted a three night stand at the Underbelly by England’s greatest living songwriter, shook hands with Sean Connery, accidentally kidnapped a waitress and compared favourite Onion stories with a former vice-president of the United States’) though no word a lie, would have struggled to crack the top ten thousand.”

    And clearly the highlight of all above is “accidentally kidnapped a waitress.”

    A demain!