The first in a series! Herewith, the trailer for Salinger:
RECLUSE!
PAPARAZZO!
SALINGER!
PAPRAZZO!
CATCHER IN THE RYE!
ADOLESCENT ANGST!
SILENCE!
DISAPPEARANCE!
HOWARD HUGHES!
NAZIS?
NAZIS!
NERVOUS BREAKDOWN!
CONCRETE BUNKER!
FANATICS!
ASSASSINATIONS!
MARK DAVID CHAPMAN!
DELUSIONS OF GRANDEUR!
LOVE AFFAIRS!
SECRET MANUSCRIPTS?
VAULT?
SECRET MANUSCRIPTS!
PM: I certainly like your mentioning Bruno Bettelheim’s book which meant a lot to me a thousand years ago when I read it.
ID: Oddly enough, I think Bruno Bettelheim was in my dream last night?
PM: He was not very good looking. Do you just dream of brainy Jews?
ID: On good nights, yes…
I’ve contributed for about seven years now to an excellent site called Bookslut, and the editor, whom I’ve never met and yet still managed to feel intimidated by, moved last year (?) from Portland, Oregon to Berlin. She blogged a few days ago about her idea to open a literary colony of sorts in an abandoned hospital in her new hometown. It sounds like absolute heaven. I immediately emailed the managing editor and asked for a room (he said yes, of course.)
“I had this crazy idea. Actually, I had it about two years ago when I fell in love with a Berlin building that had a tree growing out of the back of it. In my research about the abandoned building, I discovered that it had originally been built in the 19th century as a mortuary for the nearby hospital. Then the Nazis took it over and used it for storage. Then the East Germans took it over and used it for a bureaucratic office. I decided I had to buy this building and open the Bookslut Literaturhaus of Sex and Death. (Don’t worry, we would burn some sage in there. Maybe bring in a priest.)
“After reading Sarah Schulman’s The Gentrification of the Mind, and watching Berlin turn into Brooklyn, I’ve become more determined to open the Bookslut Literaturhaus of Sex and Death, although Charles, our managing editor, insists it should exist in Chicago so he can go, too. (Maybe we will open Literaturhaus Zwei.) Schulman writes about the need for radical spaces, for the mixing of people from all nationalities and economic backgrounds, for places to perform and fuck up and converse, and not just recreate the socioeconomic climates of our childhoods in our social circles.
“So I’ve decided my demented little building is not big enough, but perhaps the abandoned 19th c. hospital next door would be for what I want. (And really, someone should take it over before it’s turned into luxury condos.) I want: low rent apartments for writers and artists, who can teach or mentor or help rehab the building in exchange for rent. A performance space/reading hall. An extensive library. Classrooms, not for MFA-style workshops but for classes on history, international literature, art, etc. There’d be rooms to stay in for traveling writers and bourgeois people who just want to look in on the action and they would be charged more. There’d be a bar and cafe, of course, because it’s going to be a steady diet of Hungarian rose wine and goulash. And of course a large section will house Bookslut/Spolia offices and inevitably a publishing company/bookstore. I’ll do the tarot readings in the library.
“I will of course live in the mortuary.
“I am five seconds from Kickstarting this fucker, although then all of the money would go to Paypal, and yuck. But rewards would be like, we’ll name a barstool after you. Or, a couple nights for free. From there I can raise my enlightened crones-in-training army, and we can have our little radical space within the workings of capitalism. Who is with me? You’d be a fool not to run away and join our circus.”
At my writing program, there was a girl one year ahead of me who was super nerdy and awkward, but she wrote her book-length thesis on a freak brain aneurysm she developed (and nearly died from) at age 27 and swept the year’s awards. Afterwards, I congratulated her, and she adjusted her glasses and said, “I was originally going to write about my pet rats.” It took everything in me not to nudge her with my elbow and say, “Well, thank G-d you got that brain aneurysm, amIright?!”
I was reminded of this story the other day when my boyfriend told me he had investigated buying pet rats at our local Pet Smart and feeding them to our cats. It’s been tough to entertain them, as we live in a small apartment and have two (Bodega, because I got him from the bodega men, and Slash, because he is a rock star.) While browsing PetSmart.com, M noticed that the “hairless fancy rat” is quite beloved by consumers. There are twenty customer reviews: 1 is a 1 star, 2 are 4 stars, and 17 are 5 stars. Here are some favorites:
March 21, 2013
diana0509
from: Ohio What is your gender?: F How many pets do you have?: 5 or more How often do you shop at PetSmart?: Weekly
I must admit, these little ones are by far the sweetest & most lovable. My little “Squeakers” was my joy. These little ones..people often turn away by the looks of them, BUT the heart these little ones have..there are NO words. The are curious, cuddly, love being held & love to pick up things. Not to mention chatter (talk) to you. Squeakers would go to our vet’s (for checkups) & just make herself @ home checking everything out she could find. Including picking up his Stethoscope & chattering into it. Wonderful with kids..just keep them in a warm place with no drafts as they are hairless..& enjoy years of love & laughter.
February 23, 2013
sQueaKuP
from NJ What is your gender? F How many pets do you have? 4 How often do you shop at PetSmart? Monthly
My friend loves animals.Sadly,she is allergic and for a while could not have any pet.She was looking to see if there were any hairless pets at the store.Then,she saw a hairless rat.She loved rats so finding hairless ones were a huge win for her! She got one named Remy,and she loves him.He’s very sweet and smart,and she found him easy train.These are perfect pets for people with allergies to furred pets but don’t want to get left out of the pet fun.I actually saw that hairless ones are even nicer than the furred ones! Adorable and fun,and totally worth the moola!
November 27, 2011
Dennis34589
from Duluth,GA What is your gender? M How many pets do you have? 5 or more How often do you shop at PetSmart? Weekly
Hairless rats are amazing pets. I had one, named Buddy, he was like a little son to me. He loved to relax with me, and sit there being petted for a long time. I would buy as much as possible if I could. Buddy was my favorite small animal and one of my favorite pets of all time. Good for starters, Good for experts. Extremely awesome pets.
July 1, 2011
Armadillo
from Philadelphia, PA What is your gender? F How many pets do you have? 5 or more How often do you shop at PetSmart? Monthly
I absolutely love pet rats. I have three; a hairless, a fancy and a dumbo. They are highly intelligent and sociable, not to mention adorable! I’ve trained my rats to do various tricks from coming when their name is called to even stealing money (for some reason they’ll only take 1 dollar bills and don’t worry it’s only for entertainment, I don’t actually use them to steal). I would definitely suggest rats to anyone looking for a little companion!
September 9, 2010
TaraB
from NJ What is your gender? F How many pets do you have? 5 or more How often do you shop at PetSmart? Monthly
The only problem is, the hairless rats seem to get sick MUCH easier than their furred friends. When I first got Noodle early last fall, she got a chill and almost died when it went down to 68 degrees in my room. Same thing happened to Bosley a few months later. Make sure to keep plenty of cozy hammocks in the cage and try to provide them with a furry friend for cuddling. They also seem to eat a lot more food than my other rats, yet they are smaller and skinnier than they’re friends.
Note that Bosley and Noodle are not from the same litter (or even from the same store), so it wasn’t just a sickly litter.
Other than the health issues, hairless rats and gentle, loving, and hilarious little pets.
March 16, 2010
MaurinQuina22
from Ithaca, NY What is your gender? F How many pets do you have? 1 How often do you shop at PetSmart? Monthly
Just shy of 2 years ago, I bought a female Hairless Dumbo Rat (yep, they exist) from the big PetSmart on S. Canal St. while I was living in Chicago. PetSmart must really work hard to find and train animals for great temperaments because “Xena” had more personality in that little, wrinkly body than most dogs and cats that I’ve met. From the day I got her, she was perfectly comfortable with me picking her up and interacting with her. She was endlessly clever, sweet as pie, and was, to quote a friend of mine, a “rambunctious little stink.” She never, ever bit or squealed, and she was most at home climbing on or around me. I don’t think there’s a human in the world who could ever match the level of enthusiasm she showed just at the sight of me when I got home from work, or the unconditional love that she always gave me. Sadly, Xena died a week ago, and she meant so much to me that I cried for 2 days. Small animals aren’t built to last as long as you wish they could, but looking back on all the joy she brought into my life just by being her friendly, spunky, trouble-making self, it was so worth it. Anyone who chooses a Hairless or Dumbo Rat (or better yet, both wrapped up in one) is a lucky person, indeed. She was the best friend I’ve ever had, and when the time is right, I look forward to bringing a couple of new wrinkly friends into my life, courtesy of PetSmart. I recommend them highly.
“53. The best thing for children is to keep your distance from them, not playing with them too often. It is best not to pay attention to them at all.”
~Rabbi Nachman’s Wisdom
Is what I have been today.
I need some uppers, such as:
Num num num.
Even if you’re bougie and you live in Brooklyn, three old kitchen spoons and a polka dot comforter does not equal a stoop sale. Just throw your shit away.
Mars (the planet) wrote me an email.
Well, stolen from me… before I was born.
When I was at Shakespeare & Co. in Paris, I considered writing a mock-children’s book about a bookstore in which the characters in famous books come to life at night and haunt the daughter of the owner. Dorothy Parker would teach her all about the stupidity of romance, Yukio Mishima would commit seppuku on loop, and Jean-Paul Sartre would smoke (a lot.) It would be kind of like In the Night Kitchen meets Midnight in Paris, except with a more international cast of writers.
However, it seems someone else, namely Christopher Morely, wrote a book called The Haunted Bookshop, which will be out this August from the adorable Melville House. Synopsis as follows:
“When you sell a man a book,” says Roger Mifflin, the protagonist of this classic novella, “you don’t sell him just twelve ounces of paper and ink and glue—you sell him a whole new life.” Mifflin—whom we first meet in Morley’s Parnassus on Wheels—is an itinerant bookseller, ensconced in literary Brooklyn.
“If you are ever in Brooklyn, that borough of superb sunsets and magnificent vistas of husband-propelled baby-carriages,” he advises, “it is to be hoped you may chance upon a quiet by-street where there is a very remarkable bookshop.”
The shop, haunted by “the ghosts of all great literature,” provides the alluring setting for this suspenseful novella. Strange things are happening: books disappear and reappear, suspicious characters lurk, and the distant First World War may be encroaching even on the peaceful old brownstone where the shop makes it home. A thoroughly entertaining tribute to the bookseller’s art, and one of the most beloved bookish novels of all time.
Redacted: i got myself into a sticky little situation last night
ID: oh do tell!
Redacted: hahahah
well
i went over to my friend l’s apt yesterday for “a glass” of wine
which turned into 4 bottles of wine, some sushi, some cocaine
and then a hookup
hahahahhahaa
ID: HAHAHAHA
are you still seeing that other girl, k’s friend?
Redacted: oh, no
she wasn’t behaving herself
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