Oh no, New York Times!
From an article entitled “Narcissism: The Malady of Me” on the removal of Narcissism from the DSM.
“Do you follow yourself closely on Twitter? Have you been blogging regularly about your coming memoir?”
I’ve done the latter… are you calling me a narcissist?!
My look right now is:
Little girl at piano recital:
In a slightly bigger size...
Specifically/variation: Romanov sisters, particularly from the movie Nicholas and Alexandra:
I mean, honestly, those HATS!
I found this on the floor of the Calder Room in the National Gallery in DC. Funny because when I’m feeling hindered by my sensual desires, I pretend to be a monkey with hand in coconut, too. I was a bodhisattva and didn’t even know it!
The Intervention Drinking Game
Okay so MAYBE I had something to do with this, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be GENIUS! In fact…
Actually it was Verticalville 2 but there was a better e-image of this one.
The Sincere Version
Some I love
Once gave me an orchid
I killed it, by accident
I put one of the flowers inside a large book
Now it is the most beautiful,
delicate
secret little thing
***
The Snarky Version
A bi-curious guy I once loved
Gave me an orchid
I killed it, by accident (I swear)
(even though I followed all the instructions on
YahooAnswers)
I put one of the flowers inside the book I was reading, a rather pretentious 1,000 page book that is pretty much considered a modern classic and makes you appear super smart when you carry it on the L Train
(which I eventually finished, a-hem)
Now it is the most beautiful
delicate
secret little thing
And I still admire it
Even though he kind of phased me out and I think is now engaged to a girl who works at Sea World?
***
The Compromise/The Truth
Someone I love(d)
once gave me an orchid
I killed it, by accident
(even though I followed all the instructions on YahooAnswers)
I put one of the flowers
inside my copy of Infinite Jest
Now it is the most beautiful
delicate
secret little thing
Giving thanks for my new discovery of the season, poet Kay Ryan, whose pieces are “slim as runway models, so tiny you could almost tweet them.” Like mine!
Bitter Pill
A bitter pill
doesn’t need
to be swallowed
to work. Just
reading your name
on the bottle
does the trick.
Writer Waiting
Oh this shiny new computer ––
There just isn’t nothin’ cuter.
It knows everything the world ever knew.
And with this great computer
I don’t need no writin’ tutor,
‘Cause there ain’t a single thing that it can’t do.
It can sort and it can spell,
It can punctuate as well.
It can find and file and underline and type.
It can edit and select,
It can copy and correct,
So I’ll havea whole book written by tonight
(Just as soon as it can think of what to write).
Shel Silverstein, Falling Up
The Morning After I Drank FourLoko, I Woke Up…
with several four loco cans in my sink, blood all over my face, a ruptured bursa sack and five grams of coke.
So I read this article in New York Magazine about James Frey starting a “fiction factory” and I’ve come up with two new reasons to hate him! First, he comes off as a total asshole. Second, his company is called Full Fathom Five, which just reminds me too much of Uma Thurman’s hokey TV show title in Pulp Fiction or the name of a really shitty psychological thriller starring Russell Crowe. (I contemplated inserting an explanation of my ORIGINAL litany of complaints against James Frey but I think if I find it now I’ll deem it too poorly written…)
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