Archive for December, 2011

Thank You, LB

December 5, 2011

I transcribe interviews for a documentary film company for extra dolla dolla dolla billz, and while they make me sign a non-disclosure agreement so I have to be slightly coy about it, I wanted to share with you the following:

A semi-prominent author and historian commenting on the subject of an upcoming documentary, a former Hollywood actress.

“But she was so young.  I mean, she was thirty six… who knows who they are at thirty-six?”

This is excellent news, because I thought 30 was the cut-off for self-exploration, narcissistic inclinations, senseless neuroses and the like!  Now I learn I have at least an extra SIX YEARS before I have to start feeling sad about the fact that I’m not really “together.”  Big sigh of relief!  And this woman is an ACADEMIC, so you know it’s true.  Rejoice with me, children of the Me Generation!  Your second adolescence shall continue!

Guessing Game

December 4, 2011

Too hungover/busy to write anything of value here (I should be so bold!) so let’s play a little game I’ve coopted from People magazine.

What celebrity is this as a child?

Don’t cheat and hold your mouse on the picture!  Your victory will be hollow and your soul will have to live with your lie.

Quelle beaute!

Also, her outfit, her hair, the teddy –– everything is just WORKING for her.

Random Sartorial Thoughts Thursday

December 1, 2011

1. I have bed bugs.  I admit it.  It’s horrendous.  While packing away all my clothing and deciding which few items to keep and risk wearing, I opt, of course, for my plain black dress, numerous pairs of black tights and black flat shoes.  Then, feeling dirty and incapable of combing every inch of my body for microscopic vermin (though of course I know that bed bugs are not that small), I revive a favorite old fantasy of mine: shaving my head.  I fret for a bit about how I will look with no hair at all (probably not too attractive) and then think that maybe while I’m totally bald, before my baby hair starts to sprout again (which I think will be a cute phase!) I will wear a powder blue turban I have.  And then I think: oh my G-d.

This is it.  This is my first step toward Chasidism.  I even have green earrings that kind of look like these.  I’m going to be the chicest little cult member around.

2. I’m reading right now this article in T Magazine, the ethos and tone of which I plan to describe in some pithy one liner any. second. now, called “Vexed in Venice” by Joan Juliet Buck, which features the following paragraph:

“I thought I was an adult, but my life had not begun. I worked as an underpaid stylist for the photographer Guy Bourdin, lived in a tiny room on the Rue du Bac, was fascinated by Chairman Mao, knew people who were making the sexual revolution, was in love with three wrong men and had a dealer who sold me just enough hashish every week to make me feel like I belonged. I imagined I was simply moonlighting as the daughter of a cigar-smoking movie producer in handmade suits who spent Christmas in Venice.”

Something about this paragraph makes me want to raise my eyebrows and roll my eyes at her.  “I thought I was chic and mature in this really cool way, when in fact I was chic and mature in another way that is even MORE cool because it’s LESS obvious.  My feigned ignorance of my own coolness reveals me to be, in reality, UNCOOL.”

She also denounces her group’s Venetian agenda, which is wandering from bar to bar eating and drinking, by saying, “At 22, the three things I disliked most were eating, alcohol and walking.”  Fuck you, JJB, whining about roaming around Venice in winter time bundled up in YSL and stopping in bars to sip red wine and eat fish.  I’m a Chasid with bed bugs.  Beat that level of cool un-coolness.