Archive for January, 2013

This Shit is SO Bergman

January 9, 2013

“They sink down into a far too soft sofa in the drawing room, with its high, heavily draped windows facing the dusk of the garden and the blossoming fruit trees.  They hold hands.  Well, now we’re far away.  So we’ve realized our dream.  Or is this the demons’ ingenious version of our dream?  Are we actually present, or has our boldness made us breathless and our faces pale?  What is happening to us?  Have we walked into a trap, approved with kindness and prudence by a dear friend?  Is this ridiculous?  Shall we laugh or is it already time to cry?”

~Ingy Bergman, Private Confessions

A New Gig for Me

January 9, 2013

My beloved and I went to see Ann Hamilton’s “The Event of a Thread” at the Park Avenue Armory last weekend, which was an art exhibit involving swings, a large curtain, pigeons, and –– hooray for me! –– people reading aloud, their words broadcast from radios tied up inside paper bags.  It was a pretty precious exhibit, but a fun one, nonetheless, and of course I was dying to find out how one gets a gig as a reader.  (They read excerpts from “Aristotle to Charles Darwin to the poet Ann Lauterbach.”)

Readers have pigeon friends.

Readers have pigeon friends.

A little bit more about Hamilton’s exhibit, from the Armory’s website:

“Visual artist Ann Hamilton combines the ephemeral presence of time with the material tactility for which she is best known to create a new large-scale installation for the Wade Thompson Drill Hall. Commissioned by the Armory, the event of a thread references the building’s architecture, as well as the individual encounters and congregational gatherings that have animated its rich social history. A multisensory affair, the work draws together readings, sound, and live events within a field of swings that together invite visitors to connect to the action of each other and the work itself, illuminating the experience of the singular and collective body, the relationship between the animal and the human. The address of the readers to the pigeons shifts at the end of each day, when a vocalist on the drill hall’s balcony serenades their release to flight. Each day’s song is cut with a record lathe, and the resulting recording is played back the next day.”

My post-visit research has indicated that unfortunately the readers were hired from SITI Company, which is an ACTING TROUPE.

“SITI Company is an ensemble-based theater company whose three ongoing components are the creation of new work, the training of young theater artists, and a commitment to international collaboration.

“SITI was founded in 1992 by Anne Bogart and Tadashi Suzuki to redefine and revitalize contemporary theater in the United States through an emphasis on international cultural exchange and collaboration.”

As I’m not particularly interested in pursuing acting, I think I would not have been in the running for this one.  Damn you, Ann Hamilton!

Swingin'

Swingin’

*There’s always Tino Seghal!

Alain de Botton’s New Idea for a Marriage Proposal

January 4, 2013

“I promise to be disappointed by you and you alone. I promise to make you the sole repository of my regrets, rather than distribute them widely through multiple affairs and a life of sexual Don Juanism. I have surveyed the different options for unhappiness, and it is you I have chosen to commit myself to.”

~ Alain de Botton, How to Think More About Sex

Comment Section

January 3, 2013

I know it’s cowardly, but I’m afraid of the comments section online when I write things, so even though I submitted my piece to The New Yorker almost a month ago, I just looked right now at the comments.  They were all benign, except for one, which was hilarious (edited for clarity):

I’m Waiting For the Moshiach

What if Lou Reed turned Frum? He is Jewish afterall:

Hey Jew boy what you doing uptown?

come here to chase all those shiksa’s around

Oh pardon sir that’s farthest from my mind

I am just waiting for the Moishach friend of mine

I’m waitin for the Messiah

Here he comes all dressed in black

Long frock coat and a fur trimmed hat

He’s never early

He’s always late

One thing you learn is that you just gonna have to wait

I’m waitin for the Moshiach

***

GET ON THIS, MOSHIACH OI!

#OCCUPYMARSBAR

January 3, 2013

Me: OMG guess what is going where Mars Bar was?

LM: What?

Me: A TD BANK!

LM: That’s the lamest.

We should just show up with beers and cough syrup and post up outside.  Or inside. Fuck it.

Me: That is truly genius.  Let’s do it.  We’ll become Internet heroes in a matter of moments.

RIP!

RIP!

FILL THE VOID

January 2, 2013

I want this movie to come out so badly I cannot explain it to you.  Actually, I can: I’ve watched the trailer about ten times, I look up the showtimes on Google at least once a week (“No upcoming showtimes in your area”) and I even emailed the distribution company to ask when it was coming out in New York, all to no avail.  Among other flicks, Fill the Void was the subject of an excellent NY Times article about Haredi women filmmakers some months back.  A bit about the director from that piece, which can be read in its entirety here:

“Films for and by Haredi women were relatively unknown outside this tightknit faction until the director Rama Burshtein unveiled her feature Fill the Void at the Venice Film Festival last month. The film, which earned the ingénue Hadas Yaron a best-actress honor there and later played the New York Film Festival, was praised by critics, who noted that Ms. Burshtein’s technical expertise belied her sparse résumé.*

“In fact, while Fill the Void was Ms. Burshtein’s first film for secular as well as religious viewers, she has spent nearly two decades making movies for the women of her sect — films featuring only actresses and without violence, sex and swearing. And she wasn’t alone: Ultra-Orthodox women in Israel have been making movies for some time now — about six a year — according to strict Haredi rules: Men and women may never be shown together on screen; plotlines considered subversive or counter to Haredi beliefs are forbidden; and when the credits roll, the audience must have a lesson or moral to take home. The rules also mean that audiences are strictly segregated by sex.”

My question for Mrs. Burshtein –– or maybe rabbinical authorities –– is how can a Haredi woman make a film “for secular audiences”?  Wouldn’t that require her to do a whole host of immodest things, or to promote improper thinking generally?  Or does it not really matter what us heathens do?  (If you read this, RB –– though I doubt you have a Google alert for your name –– you can email Siobhan at itinerantdaughterandson@gmail.com to set up a Skype conference call.)

 

*Editor’s note: Hadas Yaron is sooooo pretty!

POLAR BEAR PLUNGE

January 2, 2013

I did the Polar Bear Plunge yesterday, and while it was awesome, I’m pretty sure my brain is still a little scrambled from the experience, so I can’t really do any heavy intellectual lifting today.  Instead, I give you an excerpt from a book by Bernarr MacFadden, founder of the Polar Bear Club, fitness guru, and author of many books including Muscular Power & Beauty, The Miracle of Milk and my personal favorite, Hair Culture.  (As far as I can tell, there were some good things to come up of my dip in the ocean yesterday, but clarity of mind was NOT one of them.)  The below excerpt is, fittingly, about the benefits of a dip in cold water from Vitality Supreme, which is available to download for free from the Bernarr MacFadden fan site.

“Many who enjoy a cold bath are inclined to stay in the water too long. In this way one may deprive himself of

some of the benefits that might be derived therefrom. It is safer to limit the cold bath to a short period. The chief

value lies in the reaction. If this is secured then all is well. The first effect of the cold water is to contract the tissues

at the surface of the body, including the blood vessels, thus forcing the blood away from the skin. In the reaction

the blood is brought back to the surface in large quantities, producing the glow that is noticed after a successful

cold bath. After a short plunge or quick shower this reaction should be secured. By staying in the water too long

one may overtax his vitality and become chilled. When taking a plunge simply allow the water to come in contact

with all parts of the body; then immediately get out.”

–– Bernarr MacFadden, Vitality Supreme