The latest (I think?) Shouts & Murmurs was hilarious. I had to read the below first question several times to figure out which one of the characters was me.
1. Julie has published two novels and is engaged; Lisa works two jobs and her landlord won’t let her buy a cat. Lisa feels __________ of her former roommate.
(a) proud
(b) begrudging
(c) covetous
(d) resentful
(e) blind rage at the thought of attending the wedding.
ID: omg i had brunch at the scientology center yesterday
MK: why did you do that
ID: two reasons
1. $12, all you can eat
2. kicks
MK: i’m only partially convinced
ID: hahaha
it’s at the celebrity centre in la
MK: i drove by that when i was there
looked huge and terrifying
ID: it was pretty nuts
they had some great posters
depicitng the 17 stages of enlightenment or… something like that
MK: only 17?
that’s ez!
I haven’t posted in a WEEK, which is like, normal for every blogger in the universe but criminal for me. In any case, it’s been a hectic few days, which included: my first visit to the Chateau Marmont (wee!), brunch at the Scientology Celebrity Centre in Los Angeles, Yom Kippur at a ghetto Days Inn outside LA, and the discovery of these two gems.
Jerusalem Syndrome “is a group of mental phenomena involving the presence of either religiously themed obsessive ideas, delusions or other psychosis-like experiences that are triggered by a visit to the city of Jerusalem. It is not endemic to one single religion or denomination but has affected Jews, Christians and Muslims of many different backgrounds.
“The best known, although not the most prevalent, manifestation of the Jerusalem syndrome is the phenomenon whereby a person who seems previously balanced and devoid of any signs of psychopathology becomes psychotic after arriving in Jerusalem. The psychosis is characterised by an intense religious theme and typically resolves to full recovery after a few weeks or after being removed from the area.”
Paris Syndrome “is a transient psychological disorder encountered by some individuals visiting or vacationing in Paris, France. It is characterized by a number of psychiatric symptoms such as acute delusional states, hallucinations, feelings of persecution (perceptions of being a victim of prejudice, aggression, or hostility from others), derealization, depersonalization, anxiety, and also psychosomatic manifestations such as dizziness, tachycardia, sweating, and others. Similar syndromes include Jerusalem syndrome and Stendhal syndrome. Japanese visitors are thought to be especially susceptible.”
I’m currently going to work on a short film about a little old Japanese man stricken with Paris Syndrome.
My father and I have an informal competition that involves acquiring points by spotting the most outrageous or currently interesting celebrities. Each celebrity’s point-worth is assigned based on a completely obvious set of intangible qualifications that the two of us agree on. Last week I saw Katie Holmes, and asked him what he thought she was worth. Here is his answer:
“The scale would probably be like this:
Katie in Manhattan: 50 points
Katie in Brooklyn: 100 points
Katie being followed by Scientology goons: 200 points
Katie and Suri (with or without goons): 250 points
Suri alone: 500 points
Suri with Tom Cruise: 500 points
Suri with Katie and Tom: Game over.”
Dear WordPress,
I may have asked you this before, but for the love of all things holy PLEASE remove this quote from your trove of inspirational sayings for writers:
“Dreams are illustrations from the book your soul is writing about you.”
It is attributed to one Marsha Norman, who ought to be seriously rebuked for composing such hooey.
Xoxo,
ID
Yesterday evening I was walking to this thing called a Death Cafe, recently featured in the Times. The reporter summed up the salon as follows: “Offshoots of the “café mortel” movement that emerged in Switzerland and France about 10 years ago, these are not grief support groups or end-of-life planning sessions, but rather casual forums for people who want to bat around philosophical thoughts. What is death like? Why do we fear it? How do our views of death inform the way we live?” I was curious but slightly annoyed that it was going to take place in an IHOP (IHOP in Manhattan?!) when I exited my office. And then, right outside, was the silent scene of an obviously terrible motorcycle accident. The bike lay in pieces on the road, and there was a body covered in a white sheet smack in the center of the intersection. Gawkers lined the streets––policemen were just standing idly as well, because what could they do at that point?––and I stopped and stared for a moment and then continued on toward Death Cafe, where my table-mates included a woman who believes in Singularity (ooookay) and a gay Buddhist with the words “not nothing” tattooed to his forearm.
Good morning to you.
Wakey wakey.
So I tried to start another blog at one point in my life and *shame* failed pretty miserably. The thrust of it was bad book proposals, but I realize now that I am too scattered to try and take care of seventeen different projects at once (well, maybe seventeen is fine, but EIGHTEEN…) The idea, I maintain, is excellent, so herewith, I include a list of things a young inmate plans to write about in his work THE COMPLETE PRISONERS’ HANDBOOK (I generally am not correcting his errors):
“First day of arrival, code of ethics, BOP rules for inmates, living safe, living smart, commissary sheet help, Trulincs & Trufone set-up manual, useful tips and inspiring quotes, STD & Health advices, Legal advices, distance parenting, distance relationship, About drug program, card games, mind games, Origami, Rec time, exercise programs, jail cook book, Some useful skills and knowledge, jail prayers, re-entry information and advices, financial literacy, positive life style and many more…”
So I know I owe everyone a little more WRITING and little less quipping/re-blogging of images, but I couldn’t help but share this: the other night, before I went to bed, I randomly checked the live feed of Andy Warhol’s grave (it’s a thing) and this is what I saw:
11:57 PM, Tuesday, August 6th.
I’m starting a support group for struggling introverts. Every Tuesday night between 6-9, introverts must be at home, alone in their beds. Other than that, no demands will be placed on them. You’re welcome for giving you a surefire excuse to get out of that cocktail party.
I still owe you a post on Iceland. This is really embarrassing and terribly uncharacteristic of me. Usually my blog is the only aspect of my life I have together? In any case, that is coming asap, I promise, but in the interim, two quick thoughts:
1. Why hasn’t anyone teamed up with the MTA to create an app where you can scan your Metrocard and find out the balance?
2. Wouldn’t it have been great if this review (which I think about probably twice a week) had been boring?
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