I so look forward to Harry Davies-Carr’s essay “Society Bit Me: I Was An Internet Meme” about his rise to fame and subsequent descent into bath salts and sex addiction.
Archive for the ‘Conspiracy Theories’ Category
Brave New World
March 25, 2012Found This Out After the Fact
March 19, 2012This morning, about twelve hours after my return from New Square, my friend sent me this article, which confirmed our suspicions that the house-cum-fish-market where we ate was where the infamous “talking, prophesizing carp” incident took place. I suppose it’s better I found this out today and not Friday, as I wouldn’t have been able to resist peppering Mrs. Kupperman with questions about the fish.
The Times article about the incident, which took place in 2003:
Miracle? Dream? Prank? Fish Talks, Town Buzzes
By COREY KILGANNON
Published: March 15, 2003
And so it came to pass that a talking carp, shouting in Hebrew, shattered the calm of the New Square Fish Market and created what many here are calling a miracle.
Of course, others are calling it a Purim trick, a loopy tale worthy of Isaac Bashevis Singer or just a whopping fish story concocted by a couple of meshugenehs.
Whatever one calls it, the tale of the talking fish has spread in recent weeks throughout this tight-knit Rockland County community, populated by about 7,000 members of the Skver sect of Hasidim, and throughout the Hasidic world, inspiring heated debate, Talmudic discussions and derisive jokes.
The story goes that a 20-pound carp about to be slaughtered and made into gefilte fish for Sabbath dinner began speaking in Hebrew, shouting apocalyptic warnings and claiming to be the troubled soul of a revered community elder who recently died.
Many people here believe that it was God revealing himself that day to two fish cutters in the fish market, Zalmen Rosen, a 57-year-old Hasid with 11 children, and his co-worker Luis Nivelo, a 30-year-old Ecuadorean immigrant.
Some people say the story is as credible as the Bible’s account of the burning bush. Others compare it to a U.F.O. sighting. But the story rapidly spread around the world from this town about 30 miles northwest of Manhattan, first through word of mouth, then through the Jewish press.
The two men say they have each gotten hundreds of phone calls from Jews all over the world.
”Ah, enough already about the fish,” Mr. Rosen said today at the shop, as he skinned a large carp. ”I wish I never said anything about it. I’m getting so many calls every day, I’ve stopped answering. Israel, London, Miami, Brooklyn. They all want to hear about the talking fish.”
Here then is the story, according to the two men, the only witnesses. Mr. Rosen, whose family owns the store, and Mr. Nivelo, who has worked at the shop for seven years, say that on Jan. 28 at 4 p.m. they were carving up carp.
Mr. Nivelo, who is not Jewish, lifted a live carp out of a box of iced-down fish and was about to club it in the head.
But the fish began speaking in Hebrew, according to the two men. Mr. Nivelo does not understand Hebrew, but the shock of a fish speaking any language, he said, forced him against the wall and down to the slimy wooden packing crates that cover the floor.
He looked around to see if the voice had come from the slop sink, the other room or the shop’s cat. Then he ran into the front of the store screaming, ”The fish is talking!” and pulled Mr. Rosen away from the phone.
”I screamed, ‘It’s the devil! The devil is here!’ ” he recalled. ”But Zalmen said to me, ‘You crazy, you a meshugeneh.’ ”
But Mr. Rosen said that when he approached the fish he heard it uttering warnings and commands in Hebrew.
”It said ‘Tzaruch shemirah‘ and ‘Hasof bah,’ ” he said, ”which essentially means that everyone needs to account for themselves because the end is near.”
The fish commanded Mr. Rosen to pray and to study the Torah and identified itself as the soul of a local Hasidic man who died last year, childless. The man often bought carp at the shop for the Sabbath meals of poorer village residents.
Mr. Rosen panicked and tried to kill the fish with a machete-size knife. But the fish bucked so wildly that Mr. Rosen wound up cutting his own thumb and was taken to the hospital by ambulance. The fish flopped off the counter and back into the carp box and was butchered by Mr. Nivelo and sold.
The story has been told and retold, and many Jews believe that the talking fish was a rare shimmer of God’s spirit. Some call it a warning about the dangers of the impending war in Iraq.
”Two men do not dream the same dream,” said Abraham Spitz, a New Square resident who stopped by the store this week. ”It is very rare that God reminds people he exists in this modern world. But when he does, you cannot ignore it.”
Others consider it as fictional as Tony Soprano’s talking-fish dream in an episode of the ”The Sopranos.”
”Listen to what I’m telling you: Only children take this seriously,” said Rabbi C. Meyer of the New Square Beth Din of Kashrus, which administers kosher-food rules. ”This is like a U.F.O. story. I don’t care if it is the talk of the town.”
Whether hoax or historic event, it jibes with the belief of some Hasidic sects that righteous people can be reincarnated as fish.
Unnatural occurrences play a part in the mystical beliefs of members of the Skver sect. On the other hand, some skeptics note that the Jewish festival of Purim, which starts Monday night, is marked by merriment and pranks, which might be a less elevated explanation for the story.
Some community members are calling the two men an enlightened pair chosen to receive the message. Others have said that Mr. Nivelo may have been selected because he is not Jewish.
”If this was a story concocted by a bunch of Jewish guys, it might be suspect, but this Luis, or whatever his name is, he has no idea what this means,” said Matisyahu Wolfberg, a local lawyer.
”If people say God talks to them, we recommend a psychiatrist, but this is different,” said Mr. Wolfberg, sitting in his office with his black hat resting atop his computer terminal.
”This is one of those historical times when God reveals himself for a reason. It has sent spiritual shock waves throughout the Jewish community worldwide and will be talked about throughout the ages.”
Zev Brenner, who last week broadcast a show about the fish on ”Talk Line,” his talk radio show on Jewish issues, on WMCA-AM (570) and WSNR-AM (620), said that the story has fascinated the religious community worldwide.
”I’ve gotten calls from all over asking ‘Did you hear about the fish?’ ” he said. ”You can imagine, a talking fish has got people buzzing. This is going to be talked about for a long time to come, unless it’s somehow verified as a hoax, which is hard to imagine, since the proof has been eaten up.”
Mr. Brenner said that the story is so well known that it has inspired a whole new genre of wedding jokes for Jewish comedians.
”The station had an advertiser, a gefilte fish manufacturer, who considered changing his slogan to ‘Our fish speaks for itself,’ but decided people would be offended,” he said.
As for Mr. Nivelo, a practicing Christian, he still believes the babbling carp was the devil. His wife told him he was crazy, and his 6-year-old daughter even laughs at him.
”I don’t believe any of this Jewish stuff,” he said. ”But I heard that fish talk.”
He said that Spanish-speaking rabbis have been calling his home every day and night asking him to recount the story.
”It’s just a big headache for me,” he added. ”I pull my phone out of the wall at night. I don’t sleep and I’ve lost weight.”
Mr. Rosen said that he spoke to his wife, who was visiting Israel, and that she had already heard the story from someone else.
”My phone doesn’t stop ringing,” Mr. Rosen said. ”Always interruptions, people coming in and taking their picture with me.”
He paused and turned to Mr. Nivelo, who was cutting salmon for a customer.
”No, too big,” he said. ”She wants appetizer.”
—-
The only appropriate follow up question, I think, is: who ate the fish?
Random Thoughts: Sunday Blues Edition
March 11, 20121. I resent the nice weather for making me feel bad about doing nothing today.
2. A good insult to someone you’ve recently met would be: “I wish I could write off my impression of you as a douche bag as an uneducated judgment on my part, but unfortunately, I’m pretty sure I’m right.”
3. If suicide is cowardly, why, when someone manages to do it, do they call him/her “successful”?
So Of Course
March 7, 2012When websites or hotline numbers are mentioned in works of fiction, I tend to call them, particularly after a few years ago when I called a 1-800 number offered up by a faux-Oceanic Airlines commercial during Lost and there WAS A RECORDING AND I FELT LIKE I WAS ACTUALLY PART OF THE MYSTERY, so yesterday I visited http://www.guiltyremnant.com and emailed join@guiltyremnant.com, and got this response:
—-
from: join@guiltyremnant.com
to: itinerantdaughterandson@gmail.com
dateTue, Mar 6, 2012 at 2:37 PM
subject[Auto-Reply] I am interested in joining
hide details Mar 6 (1 day ago)
Dear So and So,
Thank you for your interest in the Guilty Remnant. If you’d like to know more about our organization, you should read The Leftovers, by Tom Perrotta. For a closer look at our community, feel free to drop by our compound, located on Gingko Street in Mapleton. Guided tours and overnight visits are available by reservation. And don’t worry: There’s always room for one more.
Join the Guilty Remnant. Belong to the New World.
Sincerely,
G.R. Staff
—
I don’t want to say I BLAME Tom Perrotta for this, but I just wish the mystery were more comprehensive and nefarious. Sigh. At least I have a desk, and an office, and my health. Boring.
Groups I’d Like to Join
March 6, 2012“You started seeing them around town the following autumn, people in white clothing, traveling in same-sex pairs, always smoking. Laurie recognized a few of them –– Barbara Santangelo, whose son was in her daughter’s class; Marty Powers, who used to play softball with her husband, and whose wife was taken in the Rapture, or whatever it was. Mostly they ignored you, but sometimes they followed you around as if they were private detectives hired to keep track of your movements. If you said hello, they just gave you a blank look, but if you asked a more substantive question, they handed over a business card printed on one side with the following message:
WE ARE MEMBERS OF THE GUILTY REMNANT. WE HAVE TAKEN A VOW OF SILENCE. WE STAND BEFORE YOU AS LIVING REMINDERS OF GOD’S AWESOME POWER. HIS JUDGMENT IS UPON US.
“In smaller type, on the other side of the card, was a Web address you could consult for more information: http://www.guiltyremnant.com.
“… Laurie had read an article about the Guilty Remnant in the local paper, so she knew that there were at least sixty people living in their ‘compound’ on Gingko Street, an eight-house subdivision that had been deeded to the organization by the developer, a wealthy man named Troy Vincent, who was now living there as an ordinary member, with no special privileges.”
~ Tom Perrotta, The Leftovers
My only question, though, is can I keep my white veil in accordance with my membership in the Union of Hideously and Improbably Deformed? Can I break my vow of silence to speak in my UHID group sessions?
This Weekend
February 25, 2012Not just a CLASS on squatting, but a SYMPOSIUM on it! My brother once told me about these people he’d heard of who were squatting in a mansion in Paris. I’d rather squat than rent. My other house is a tenement.
XXXXX FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 24 XXXXX
Squatting Europe Collective
For the first time ever, a group of activist researchers from the European squatting movement are gathering in New York City. They will make public appearances to speak about the decades-old movement of squatting and building occupations in their respective countries. The tradition of political squatting is moving from the shadows into the light. With the world-wide rise of the Occupy movement, the deep reservoir of experience within the movements of political squatting have become suddenly significant.
Generations of activists have participated in occupations of vacant buildings in Europe, beginning in the 1970s. The best known early success was the famous free city of Christiania in Copenhagen. But every major city in Europe has experienced some version of politicized squatting, most recently in the form of social centers.
Various times, locations, and events. Check website for complete listings.
Continues through MONDAY
sites.google.com/site/housemagicbfc/sqek-nyc-feb-12-schedule
Why Women Are Better Than Men
February 23, 2012Reason #779:
” ‘Thou hast hid these things from the wise and prudent, and hast revealed them unto babes,’ though Levin about his wife, as he talked to her that night.
“Levin thought of the Gospel text not because he considered himself wise and prudent. He did not, but he could not help knowing that he was more intelligent than his wife and Agafya, and he could not help knowing that when he thought about death he thought with all his heart and soul. He knew, too, that many men of great intellect, whose thoughts on death he had read, had pondered deeply about it and did not know a hundredth part of what his wife and Agafya knew. Different as those two women were, Agafya and Katya, as his brother Nikolai called Kitty and as Levin particularly liked to call her now, were absolutely alike in this. Both knew without any doubt whatever what was life and what was death, and though they could not possibly have answered or even have understood the questions that presented themselves to Levin, neither of them had any doubts about the significance of these phenomena and both looked upon them in the same way, sharing this view with millions of other people. The proof that they knew firmly what death was lay in the fact that they never doubted for a moment how to deal with the dying and had no fear of death. Levin, however, and others like him, though they could say a great deal about death, quite obviously did not know, because they were afraid of death and had not the faintest idea what to do when people were dying. Had Levin now been alone with his brother Nikolai, he would have looked at him with terror and would have sat waiting there in still greater terror, and that would have been all he could do.”
~Guess
Me, Wishing I Were Dooce
February 22, 2012Ew, as IF!
But still:
Thinking…
Does the printed “New York’s Boldest” on the side of NYPD Correctional Facilities vans refer to the policemen or the convicts?
Fuck You, Universe
February 18, 2012Instead of finishing Tolstoy, I’ve been watching old SVU’s, and TWICE in the past THREE episodes I’ve watched, someone has quoted Anna Karenina. Really? This is Xanadu all over again.
Oh Great
February 15, 2012Now even the New York Times Book Review is mocking my inability to finish Anna Karenina. I was flipping through a recent issue and came upon an essay by Elizabeth D. Smart* entitled “Grand Allusion.” It begins like this:
“A good friend recently treated me to one of the preposterous yet mostly true tales for which I prize him. This one involved the Texas Tech University mascot’s horse, Double T., skidding on the turf during a pregame gallop and careening into a stadium wall. While my friend described the fatal accident, I recalled the scene in Anna Karenina in which Vronsky’s horse –– whose name I had momentarily forgotten and was desperately reaching for –– falls in the steeplechase and must be put down.
‘Like Vronsky’s horse!’ I announced. ‘You know,’ I stumbled on, ‘Vronsky’s horse… injured at the races… has to be shot… what’s the name of Vronsky’s horse?’
‘Who’s Vronsky?’ my friend shrugged, and I was reminded that each unhappy allusion is unhappy in its own way.”
Well, Mrs. Smart, I for one did get the allusion (the horse’s name is Frou-Frou, btdubs) and yet am still unhappy as I am sort of convinced you’re part of a larger nefarious plot to remind me of my personal literary failings. Awesome.
*Wondering, now, if Elizabeth D. Smart always used her middle initial or if she perhaps added it post-Mormon Elizabeth Smart’s kidnapping in order to distinguish herself?