Mine

June 1, 2012

I have an article posted on a site I really do like, but the editor edited it quite a bit.  I’m fine with the way it is for the purposes of the site, but I do like my original version very much, so here it is!

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For many people, particularly those who live in liberal Western cultures, the concept of religious uniforms is as simple as a black burqa: the pious pare down their clothing to the least colorful and individualizing pieces in order to humble themselves before their God.  As is widely decried by feminist scholars, women in religiously observant societies are more often the ones affected by these sartorial limits.  But like most practices viewed as wholly restrictive, the rules of modest dress for religious women, and the way these women operate within the system, often illuminate more than they hide.  Instead of just eliminating choice, the limits highlight it; the echoes of the smallest fashion decision reverberate and we discover the arena of costume, even for the Chasidish or Muslim female, is not a void but a canyon.  Perhaps no other film in recent history has harvested more meaning of the subtlest of costume differences than Ashgar Farhadi’s A Separation.  In this sense, the movie says more about clothing in film (and the world in which we live) than any ornate period drama or futuristic war story populated by metal-clad aliens ever could.

In the second scene of the movie, Simin, played by the excellent Leila Hatami, is packing up her belongings.  She’s moving to her parents’ house because her husband Nader (Peyman Moadi) refuses to leave Iran in order to give their young daughter Termeh a better life.  Termeh stands at the threshold of what was until that very moment her parents’ bedroom and watches as Simin counts money and stuffs books in her bag, then unceremoniously exits.  The final shot of her departure is simple: a steady view of her profile as she drives her car away from her family home wearing a hijab and a pair of sunglasses to shield her eyes from the Tehran sun.  The sunglasses are a standard brown with big, rectangular lenses –– nothing terribly noteworthy, but there is one remarkable thing about them.  Blink and you’ll miss it: in casual, tiny script on the arm is written the name Ray-Ban.  Already, this brand name has communicated to the audience a great deal about Simin’s character.  We know she is middle-class, relatively modern, and adventurous, or at least she wants to appear that way, as if she is calmly but certainly following the command dictated by the Luxottica Group: “Never Hide.”

Simin is almost immediately contrasted with the figure and clothing of Razieh (played by Sareh Bayat) who has come to interview for a position as a caretaker for Nader’s senile father.  Whereas Simin’s outfit, aside from the head covering, could pass for that of a Bryn Mawr sophomore who shops for simple, earth-toned clothing at Madewell, Razieh’s is more of what we in the west think of typically as Islamic garb.  Her hijab –– black and without embellishment compared to Simon’s fern-colored crepe de chine one –– is carefully folded so as to not reveal even a sliver of her neck or a stray strand of hair.    We at once recognize her as the gloomy, oppressed woman in contrast to the enlightened, liberated one.  (Indeed, even Razieh’s facial features are more stereotypically Arab, whereas Simin, with her sharp cheekbones, light complexion and few strands of red hair peeking out from beneath her hijab, looks physically Aryan.)  Razieh listens timidly as Nader explains the tasks that comprise the job.  Next to her mournful figure stands her four-year-old daughter, Somayeh, who wears a white hijab (child-friendly and easily held in place thanks to an elastic insert.)

It is jarring and yet humbling to watch the film as a Westerner; what is most shocking, when one considers oneself a liberal citizen of the world, is to find that ignorance can still lurk within.  Throughout the movie, the hijabs and chadors (enveloping cloak worn on top of the hijab that usually is long enough to reach the ground) of the women oftentimes seem to be perched precariously atop their heads.  Sometimes they don’t wrap the long ends of the scarves around their necks but let them dangle toward the ground as if Rapunzel-esque strands of hair themselves.  Occasionally they even use them as props for dramatic effect.  When Simin storms out of the house after one particularly bad row with her husband, she takes one end of her colored hijab and tosses it over her shoulder the way a mean girl in a high school cafeteria may “flip” her tresses to assert her dominance, her lack of caring.  It can be thrilling, and a little scary, to watch those thin pieces of cloth threaten to whip away with the wind and leave the woman’s hair uncovered.  One is surprised that nary a male in the whole film ever chastises a female for being immodestly dressed or not tying their hijab tightly enough, but then one chastises one’s self for such a strict view of Muslim society.  Of course not all women are subservient.  Of course jeans are allowed.  Of course they can wear Ray-Bans.  (These sunglasses, interestingly enough, have a long history in Iran.  They were so popular, particularly in the port city of Abadan, that in the southern region of Iran “ray-ban” became the generic term for sunglasses.)

Indeed, the female characters are the most mesmerizing; the male characters, though integral to the plot and brought skillfully to life by the actors, are mostly negative space.  Part of the reason for this is the garb the women wear and the attention that it ironically draws.  In attempting to subsume, to blight out the form of the female, in many ways, the traditional Muslim tenet to cover the body with as many layers as possible just ends up dramatizing and emphasizing the body underneath and the movements it makes.  Take the example of Simin’s hijab, above, or of Razieh when she storms out of the house after an altercation with Nader.  In this pivotal scene, Termeh, a seriously perceptive young girl, opens the door and sees, from above, Razieh as she rushes down the stairs, her long, night-black chador streaming behind her.  The chador’s rippling in the air gives Razieh the appearance of a boat speeding through the water, leaving a wake behind it.  The women, therefore –– who ought by religious and civil law to be as close to non-entities as possible –– become partially by virtue of their dress the most compelling figures.  One searches for clues to their lives, private and societal, in their clothing –– the nearly-indigo luminescent hijab worn by a cold Simin as she confronts her husband, the layers of what appear to be hospital bedding that a shameful and afraid Razieh swaddles herself in during a confrontational moment with her husband, the deep blue school uniform worn by the budding teenager Termeh, even the glimpse of the ever-recognizable signature Burberry tartan lining a teacher’s jacket at Termeh’s school.  The variety of clothing worn by a group considered to be oppressed in a country considered to be the harshest of theocracies upholds, in this case, the film’s thesis: that life, wherever and whenever, is complicated, unpredictable, and above all, layered.

Perhaps one of the most sartorially interesting moments for these actresses occurred not in the film at all, but on the red carpet.  This past February, A Separation became the first Iranian film to win Best Foreign Language Picture at the Academy Awards.  Leila Hatami and Sarina Faradi, who played Termeh, were both present at the ceremony.  Both wore modest, long-sleeved gowns, Leila in sky blue and Termeh in black.  Both of them wore their long hair down and their hijabs pushed way toward the back of their heads, and as the women clapped when writer/director Ashgar Farhadi collected the award, it seemed inevitable that the hijabs would slip off, but they never budged at all.

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OMG I Want This Job

June 1, 2012

Spelling Bee Pronouncer (New Brunswick)

Date: 2012-05-31, 3:25PM EDT

Reply to: t5r4f-3049292012@gigs.craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

 

Looking to hire an articulate professional for the New Jersey competition of a national spelling bee on July 21st

The pronouncer’s role is to announce each word in the spelling bee, along with any related info requested by the speller.

Candidates will need to be comfortable pronouncing words ranging from very easy to extremely difficult.

Previous spelling bee experience is a plus.

Please reply via email if interested, and let us know of any relevant experience.

Thank you!

 

Location: New Brunswick

it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Compensation: $100

Me All the Time

May 31, 2012

Seriously. It drives me nuts.

Friends

May 31, 2012

LB:  do you know anyone that works for chanel?

i have some recon to do.

THE ONE AND ONLY REASON YOU NEED TO DROP OUT OF SOCIETY

May 30, 2012

My brother and I were writing a list of reasons why we want to drop out of society, but apparently I can scrap that project because this is the only reason I really need.

Are You Depressed, Bipolar, Anxious? This App Can Tell You For Sure

By Dianna Dilworth on May 30, 2012 3:08 PM

If you are feeling down and think you may be suffering from a mental illness, WhatsMyM3, by M-3 Information, is an app that helps you test your mental well being.

Available for iOS and Android, the $2.99 app is cheaper than visiting a professional (through they do recommend that if you test positive for a mental disorder, that you seek real world help). The app asks questions like, “Over the last two weeks or more, have you noticed the following: Nothing seems to give me much pleasure.”

Here is what the app has to offer: “WhatsMyM3 is based on a research validated screen that in 3 minutes assesses your risk of depression, bipolar and anxiety and PTSD. After completing the short checklist you receive a personalized confidential report sharing how much burden these symptoms may be causing you. Please reach out to a professional or go directly to the emergency room should you feel a need for help.” (Via USA Today).

Some Possible Responses Include:

1. Why don’t people just lug around the DSM-IV like I do?

2. Is there an app that will point me to the best spots nearby from which I can jump and meet certain death?  Because thanks to you people, THAT’S WHAT I NEED NOW.

3. Too bad there’s no category on this blog called IT COULD NOT POSSIBLY BE WORSE.

List of Jobs I Think I Should Have

May 29, 2012

1. Therapist-patient matchmaker

2. Washing oil off of baby animals affected by oil spills a la that Dawn commercial

3. “cool hunter” (coolhunting.com)

4. Babysitting sequestered jurors

5. bibliotherapist

6. Obituary writer (new favorite)

7. “Phenomenologist”

8. Reading letters sent by readers to various magazines/publications and deciding which ones should be printed

9. Driving the Monsey Trails bus

10. Writing those “36 hours in…” pieces for the Times

11. Night watch person at Greenwood Cemetery

12. Watching movies and transcribing the dialog and then selling the bootlegged scripts on the street

13. Seat filler at the Oscars

14. Performance artist who lies in that wooden bed with a crystal pointed downward made by Marina Abramovic

15. Cat tamer at the Hermitage Museum (you’ve probably seen my cover letter already)

My Celebrity Doppelganger

May 27, 2012

… or so I’m told…

She celebrated her birthday!

Here is Helena Bonham-Carter with a very cool hat on.

My Boyfriend’s Sad Bagel Story

May 25, 2012

What’s worse about this story: that he incurred the wrath of commuters or that he lost his bagel?

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Thought I’d share an update about my morning.  I had to be at work on the early side and was drinking last night.  Stopped in at Bony’s Bagels (yes that’s what it’s really called) for a bagel and iced coffee on my way to the train.  Mr. Bony gave me an everything rather than the onion I ordered, but that’s kind of an occupational hazard in the bageling game.

The 4 train was crowded this morning, and I was carrying my messenger bag, a weekend bag, and my coffee.  It was standing room only, and I was standing directly above the long bench that runs down the side of the car, which was occupied by exhausted looking women from further off parts of Brooklyn.  At first I held my bag and drank my coffee, but when we got to Bowling Green, I placed the bags at my feet, wedged the empty cup between my foot and one of the bags, and dug into my messenger bag for the bagel.

I started eating the bagel, holding the bag as a sort of makeshift plate in my left hand, and the bagel itself in my right.  Unfortunately, this left no hand to hold onto the bar, so I was alternately eating the bagel and using my right wrist to hold onto the bar above.  Things went well for about 3/4 of the first half of the bagel.  Then: disaster struck.

Halfway between Brooklyn Bridge and Union Square, I was holding onto the bar with my wrist (“wristing” the bar, if you will) with the bagel in that hand when all of a sudden the train jerked violently to the left.  This threw me off my feet in the direction behind me.  Unsuspecting, barely awake, and frankly half-hungover, I was in no physical position to deal with this turn of events.  Thus, I stumbled sharply behind me.  Meanwhile, my right hand instictevely [sic] sought out the bar above, which was unfortunate because that hand was also grasping my bagel.  As a result, my fingers sort of pinched down on the bagel stub.  As anyone who has ever eaten a bagel slathered in cream cheese knows, they don’t react well to pinching.  The bottom half of the bagel immediately shot about 5 feet back in the car, soaring above commuter’s heads and presumably dribbling them with cream cheese.  The top half slapped into the lap of the woman seated directly below me, along with a nice helping of cheese.

I turned around to look at the havoc wreaked, and discovered an entire car full of people GLARING at me.  No one laughed.  No one said anything.  Just the steady gaze of unmitigated hatred.

I turned back to the woman, who had been sleeping, and managed to stammer “I’m so, so sorry” and handed her my napkins.  She calmly cleaned herself up, and slapped the remnants of the bagel back into my hand.

Union Square couldn’t arrive soon enough, and when it did, I grabbed all my bags, the bagel, and the coffee cup, and darted off the train, in search of a trash can.

Worst commute of my life.  Don’t eat while you stand on the subway.

Today Wasn’t Actually THAT Bad

May 24, 2012

Which is surprising as this week has been a complete horrorshow.

A little girl, post-internment in a concentration camp, is asked to draw her home.

And this picture, while really heartbreaking, is also gorgeous and thought-provoking.

Adventures in Craigslist, Part A Million

May 23, 2012

What?!

Found in the “Writing Gigs” section:

Very long hair model is available (Greenwich Village)

Date: 2012-05-23, 5:45PM EDT

Reply to: 5rwxp-3034027446@gigs.craigslist.org

Please kindly respond with your best offer if you need a very very long gorgeous female hair model to cut and buy all my virgin hair, it would be greatly appreciated!

Sincere thanks

it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Compensation: Nego

PostingID: 3034027446

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Is it weird to anyone else that it’s not ok to contact this poster with “services or other commercial interests?”  Something tells me she’d be down for it, whatever it is.