L’Update

November 15, 2011

So many of you (namely, two or three friends) have asked me to update them as to my whereabouts so here goes:

To the left of the piano you’ll see a little bed; I slept on its equivalent on the other side of the room (off screen) last night.  Here I am at Shakespeare and Company!  My trip to Paris is as cliched young-writer-in-France as it possibly could be.  I wanted to go to the Musee Rodin this morning but alas, my debit card seems not to be working, and according to a very helpful I think Indian woman at Chase Bank, I can use it again in two hours.  This sucks, because I would like some baguette, and to do a little activity or two.

Unfortunately I find myself rather incapable of giving accurate descriptions of my experience thus far.  Every time someone asks, I feel a little sleepy.  So, in lieu of a big to do (though do remind me to compare Sylvia Whitman, the owner of this store, to the Wizard of Oz at some point), here is the list of Quintana Roo Dunne’s drawers, labeled in “perfect print,” at the beach house in Malibu:

Cash, passport, my IRA, jewelry, little toys

LITTLE TOYS!

A bientot, mes amies!

 

In Transit

November 10, 2011

I didn’t see Midnight in Paris, so I’m not sure that I have a good template for aspiring-writer-wandering-intoxicated-by-the-streets-of-Paris, but I can certainly try.  Sadly, I’m not exactly as free a spirit as I wish, so while I put myself into situations that would insist on a carefree attitude (i.e. going to Paris without confirmed lodgings) I’m actually a bundle of nerves as I sit here quietly in the remarkably clean Toronto airport.  I think about those who have gone before me, shed their old lives and attachments, and just allowed Paris to swallow them whole: William Burroughs strung out in the Beat Hotel, Picasso squatting in a friend’s studio in Montmartre, Gertrude Stein musing about buttons in her famous parlor, etc.

But of course, I’m not Gertrude Stein.

I suppose if I look like anyone while cavorting around Paree, it will be that fat but lovable Midwestern tourist in the last scene of Paris, Je T’aime.  But that’s okay –– now that I’m a little older and wiser, I’m okay with revealing my own naivete.  I wanted to carry along Proust, but had to settle for some reductive text entitled Bohemians in Paris.  Clearly I’m also a little better with having pretty transparent aspirations.  Then again, if I hadn’t decided to bring this book, I wouldn’t have learned this charming little story…

“Several years later, after Montmartre had moved to Montparnasse, the favorite model of all the painters of the day came to sit for Utrillo.  Her name was Alice Prin.  Foujita, Kisling, Man Ray and many others had already portrayed this lively and jocular young woman, whose pranks, manners and silhouettes were known to the entire world by now.  She came to Utrillo’s door; naturally, he too wanted to do her portrait.

He placed her in front of his easel, asked her to pose and painted for three hours.  At the end of the session, ‘Kiki de Monparnasse’ asked if she could look at the portrait.

‘Of course,’ said Utrillo.

He moved away from the canvas.  The young woman approached.  She started at Utrillo’s drawing, petrified.  Suddenly she burst out laughing, in the familiar laugh that was known in every bistro on the left bank.  She leaned closer to make sure she wasn’t mistaken.  No, she had seen right.  It wasn’t her face which filled the canvas, nor her body.  There wasn’t a trace of her in the portrait.  For three whole hours, Utrillo had been painting a little house in the country.”

Flight numero deux about to board –– au revoir, mes aimes, and pray that the bookstore gives me a cupboard in which to sleep!

Kiki de Montparnasse –– also the namesake of gorgeous lingerie (hint, hint)

Loves

November 4, 2011

My good friend and erstwhile collaborator SS’s uncle wrote a phenomenal book of poetry entitled Devotions, currently up for the National Book Award (woooo!)  The book is a series of love poems all titled “Devotion: ______.”  Below is the list of things to which he is devoted:

Coin-Op

Horlust (in German, “hearing passion”) (G-ddamn, I tried to make an umlaut!   I tried but ehow failed me!)

New York, July

Thirst Reduction

Redshift

Smoke

High School

Hunan House

Soup

Fort Drum

Medea

Red Roof Inn

Guitar

The Burnt-Over District

Dub

Obbligato

Rent

Dizzy Dillespie

J’s Dream

Al Green

Paris

Contraband

New York, 1970

Josephine P

Changeling

The Garment District

Wuthering Heights

Sleep

Bus to Utica

Providence

Syracuse

Syracuse en Rose

Dress

Closer

Flight

Ode

October

Amerika

Rimbaud

The Game

Baseball

X

Infant Joy

Infant Sorrow

The Republic

Active Shooter Protocol

Car Wreck

Nature

The Insects

Dusk

Race Traitor

Futurismo

Sun

Midrash

Crows

Roman

The Unbidden

Fly

Work Blog

November 3, 2011

My company is starting a new blog, so they’ve asked everyone answer a cute little questionnaire about what books they like and such.  They kind of don’t know what they’re dealing with, though, when they ask me questions and preface them by saying “bonus points if there is a funny/interesting story behind it.”

Q: What is your favorite word?

A: “Auspicious.”  There is, in fact, a story behind it, which features a prominent Hindu guru, a meditating two year old, some “special” brownies and a speech about the movie TRANSFORMERS, but it’s way too long to get into here.

Ganapati Om.

TONIGHT AT BARNES AND NOBLE

November 1, 2011

Joan Didion talks about death, dying and being dead!

Tons of twats with melancholy dispositions and literary ambitions –– just like yours truly! –– will storm the Union Square Barnes & Noble to hear Joan Didion’s death rattle.  I’m preparing myself to be elbowed by a lot of doe-eyed white girls.

Provided the wind created by the storming hoards of aforementioned twats doesn’t knock the Joan over and cause her to shatter into pieces, I think I may raise my hand and ask her what her favorite flavor of ice cream is.

 

Monday Sucks –– But At Least My Friends Are Funny!

October 31, 2011

From KC: “i’ve been studying for an anatomy exam– did i tell you i had to dissect the male genitalia? the whole experience feels like a big insult to my absent romantic life.”

——

From PS (my bro):  “I’m having an OK Monday because I went to yoga this morning. My happy baby was adjusted in a very provocative manner by the instructor…”

—–

Lady Bob: i need someone to make me a website because my psychic is slacking

me: psychic?

Lady Bob: she’s also a web designer

——-

MH: my head hurts from peer pressuring people to drink all weekend

TGIFUCKINGF!

October 28, 2011

I may never have been so happy for it to be Friday in my life. If I were tech savvy enough, I’d make a video of the peanut-butter-jelly-time banana, the smoking toddler from China (?) and the Hipster Hitler doing a celebratory dance for this week being OVAH! (Then obvi it would go viral.) Unfortunately I can’t, but you’re welcome for the mental image. What’s in my future this weekend? TWO DAYS OF PIZZA!

THE JOAN

October 27, 2011

I don’t want to simply re-blog (because I hate the whole concept) but I have to say that the article about Joan Didion from New York Magazine last week (I guess?) was pretty interesting, especially for me as I do have an intense love hate relationship with the Joan (still looking for a home for my essay about realizing she was too morose for words –– takers?)  The best part of the article was undoubtedly this little tidbit about Quintana Roo:

“At age 5, Quintana called Camarillo, the mental institution rumored to have inspired ‘Hotel California,’ to ask what she should do if she went crazy—a story Didion insists is not just family lore.”

Girl after my own heart.

I can’t to publish a picture of Joan because looking at her arms makes me queasy, so here’s an adorable Quintana Roo in Malibu.  I agree with the writer Barbara Grizzuti Harrison about her name, too –– pretty  wack, Joan.

How precious!?

And now, for some Joan Didion jokes!

Q: What’s Joan Didion’s favorite flavor of ice cream?
A [in death rattle tone]:  Ash.

Q: What’s Joan Didion’s favorite perfume?

A: Mothballs.

And now I’m going to make one up on my own…

Q: What’s Joan Didion’s favorite cocktail?

A: Rum with a splash of disquietude.

Neologism!

October 26, 2011

Excuse me for BLOGGING too much recently, but I just thought of something kind of genius (not SUPER genius, though) –– remember when it was a fad a few years ago for Asian schoolgirls to write books on their cell phones? Well, I’m thinking that if people starting writing longer pieces –– how this would happen, I can’t envision, but where there’s fad technology, there’s a way –– via Twitter, the resulting would be called TWITERATURE!

Commissions Accepted

October 26, 2011

I make micrographic presents.  This one is for my boyfriend.  It says, “It takes a lot of time to be a genius, you have to sit around so much doing nothing, really doing nothing.”  I know from experience.

Oh, how I love to write tiny!

As the title suggests, commissions are accepted.  Please email my manager/dealer Siobhan at itinerantdaughterandson@gmail.com, but be forewarned that the prices are quite steep as my work is in high demand.