Happy Birthday, John Lennon!

October 10, 2011

DAMMIT This was supposed to go up yesterday, but I got distracted by the beautiful weather and scampered out into the sun instead of focusing on BLOGGING!  For shame.

***

I wanted to post an excerpt of Lewis Lapham’s With the Beatles but unfortunately do not have enough time to do both, so here, on this holy day, is a tribute to and by the man (and his other half) many love oh so much:

Questionnaire Proust Filled in by Lennon and Ono at the Amsterdam Hilton

John’s answers are first, Yoko’s are second, though you can probably figure it out even without any direction…

Birthdate:                                                                           9/10/40, 6:30 PM                                  Feb 18th, 1933, 8:20 PM

1. What is the utmost misery for you?                        Jealousy                                                Jealousy

2. Where would you like to live?                                 With Yoko                                             With John

3. What is your idea of earthly happiness?             Yoko                                                        John

4. What kind of faults do you sympathize with?    Yoko’s and mine                                  John’s and mine

5. Who are your favorite personalities in literature?      Yoko                                               John

6. Who is your favorite historical personality?           Yoko                                                  John

7. Who are your favorite heroines in literature?          Yoko                                                 John (!)

8. Who are you favorite heroines?                                   Yoko                                                John (!!)

9. Who is your favorite painter?                                      Yoko                                                 John

10. Who is your favorite composer?                               Yoko and me                                  John and me

11. What characteristics do you appreciate in a man?        Yoko                                      John

12. What characteristics do you appreciate in a woman?     Yoko                                   John (!)

13. What is your favorite virtue?                                       Yoko                                              John

14. What is your favorite occupation?                              Yoko                                            John

15. What you have liked to be?                                           Yoko                                            John

16. What is your most important characteristic?              Yoko                                        John

17. What do you most appreciate in your girlfriend?      Yoko                                         to keep off John

18. What is your greatest fault?                                          Yoko                                          John

19. What is your dream of happiness?                             Yoko                                           John

20. What would be your greatest disaster?                     No Yoko                                    No John

21. What would you like to be?                                           Yoko                                          John

22. What is your favorite color?                                          Yoko                                         John

23. What is your favorite flower?                                        Yoko                                         John

24. What is your favorite bird?                                             Yoko                                       John

25. Who are your favorite authors?                                     Yoko and me                       John

26. Who are your favorite poets?                                         Yoko and me                        John and me

27. Who are your heroes in real life?                                 Yoko                                       John

28. Who are your heroines in history?                              Yoko                                      John

29. What are your favorite names?                                     Yoko                                      John

30. What do you dislike most?                                             No Yoko                              no John

31. Which historical personality do you detest most?     Sam Smith                        Nobody

32. Which military event do you admire most?                 Sam Smith                        None

33.  Which reform do you admire most?                             Yoko                                    John

34. What natural gift would you like to possess?             Yoko                                    John

35. How would you like to die?                                             With Yoko                         With John

36. What is your present state of mind?                             Yoko                                    John

37. What is your motto?                                                                    Yoko and John forever

Audition

October 6, 2011

So in my dream last night, I was at a singing audition of sorts with a bunch of members of my family as well as some of the cast of Glee (which I don’t even watch) and a panel of judges and I kept debating (aloud and to myself) whether or not I should audition, and finally I agreed to do it, and I got up and sang “On My Own” from Les Miz (embarrassingly) and KILLED IT!  I felt it was somehow the closure on all the unfinished business I had with memories of childhood auditions.  So why don’t I feel more peaceful today?

An Art Piece

October 1, 2011

My brother and stunningly genius collaborator, PS (aka Itinerant Son) and I will drag the bear from “Untitled (Lamp/Bear)” from Park Avenue down to the Gavin Brown Enterprise (620 Greenwich Avenue), dump it into “You,” douse it in lighter fluid, strike a match and dance and sing ecstatically as it burns.

Is It Weird That I’m Posting Pictures of Other People’s Children?

September 30, 2011

Secret Snow in Stella McCartney

Online Dating

September 30, 2011

I love it when my friends online date.  There is an endless opportunity for unfair judgment, impulsive excoriation of character, and ecstatic schadenfraude.  Below is a profile my friend sent me of someone whose (I sincerely hope faux) enthusiasm makes me want to knee him in the balls and assure he never procreates and populates the world with perky babies who spend their free time “discovering Europe.”  Obviously I’m using pseudonymic initials, and those aren’t the real names of his non-profits.
—-

 

“ASS is passionate, fun and always full of energy.” Hi, I’m ASS – driven, inspired, adventurous… I’m usually having fun, whether it’s business (I’d do my job for fun!), hanging out with friends and family, or traveling (biking, discovering europe, learning new cultures, etc). I like genuine people who are bright, passionate and care about making a difference.

 

For fun I’ll hang by the beach or water with friends, travel, bike, grab dinner with friends, relax on a boat, spend time with my family and my cute cousins, read, or do something creative. I’m blessed to be able to spend a lot of time with the best comedians and business people in the world, doing what I love.

 

Busy people get more done…

 

1. I’m a comedian performing in clubs in NYC and sometimes on TV.

 

2. I own a few startup companies and I run conferences that help doctors and charities serve people better. We pack hundreds of leaders into a theater and inspire them to make change (and take gobs of their money….hey, life is expensive).

 

3. For good karma and fun, I run two non-profit organizations (Self-Satisfying Services Ltd. and Ego-Enhancing Volunteers) with friends…mainly to make up for all our bad behavior. 😉

 

BUT….I never take myself too seriously. I spend a ton of time hanging out with friends, pride myself on being lazy, and having fun.

—-

I think my favorite part is when he talks about his ways to relax.  “I hang out on a boat.”  Um, fuck you?

 

Little Bite of Poetry

September 30, 2011

“The Porpoise”

I kind of like the playful porpose,

A healthy mind in a healthy corpus.

He and his cousin, the playful dolphin,

Why they like swimmin like I like golfin.

~Ogden Nash

I’ve Hit the Motherload

September 30, 2011

Rickywayne.

Holy Shit

September 28, 2011

I just found an excellently trashy white girl name on Heavy (the schadenfraude marathon continues… maybe A&E will sense my addiction to their shows and send me to a lovely “facility” in Malibu?)… BRITNY!  What kind of a trailer-park cousin-banging roadkill-eating name is that?

Snack Time Tragedy

September 28, 2011

Milano down!

White Trash Names

September 28, 2011

White trash like to give their kids names that sound phonetically normal but have completely wackadoodle spelling, or alternatively, they like the names for feelings or virtues (but not in a Puritan way.)  A great source for white trash names is (duhhh!) the television show Intervention.

 

Examples:

 

Darick

Jimbo

Kennith

Makenzie

Tylee

Lilyan

Joie

Tamela

Rene

Tammi

Chantal

Madyson

Dillon

Tyanne

Kaylee

Dixie

BreeAnn

Trace

Dakota

KC

Nik

Olyvia

Kaitlyn

Aiden

Hauna