The End of Google Buzz!

November 2, 2010

Below is an email I (and likely many of you) received this afternoon regarding an old issue known as Google Buzz.  Note the bold text.

Google rarely contacts Gmail users via email, but we are making an exception to let you know that we’ve reached a settlement in a lawsuit regarding Google Buzz (http://buzz.google.com), a service we launched within Gmail in February of this year.

Shortly after its launch, we heard from a number of people who were concerned about privacy. In addition, we were sued by a group of Buzz users and recently reached a settlement in this case.

The settlement acknowledges that we quickly changed the service to address users’ concerns. In addition, Google has committed $8.5 million to an independent fund, most of which will support organizations promoting privacy education and policy on the web. We will also do more to educate people about privacy controls specific to Buzz. The more people know about privacy online, the better their online experience will be.

Just to be clear, this is not a settlement in which people who use Gmail can file to receive compensation. Everyone in the U.S. who uses Gmail is included in the settlement, unless you personally decide to opt out before December 6, 2010. The Court will consider final approval of the agreement on January 31, 2011. This email is a summary of the settlement, and more detailed information and instructions approved by the court, including instructions about how to opt out, object, or comment, are available at http://www.BuzzClassAction.com.

So… we cannot file to receive compensation, but we are included in the settlement?  I don’t get it.  Am I a moron?  Answer: kinda.

Google Voice

November 1, 2010

My roommate has that fancy Google Voice thing with which your voicemails are converted to text and emailed to you, and apparently this is the message I left her on Saturday morning.  Try to guess what I was actually talking about.  If you can, I’ll pay you seventy-four million dollars:

Hey, it’s off that exciting, but I just looked into the the, bag of from last fall will be in and nursery baby need South America. So what we’re died tonight or whatever you just give need the last pair of need. Docs and then we can just have like a talk about or something. Alright, talk to you later. Bye.

Love Poem

October 29, 2010

Ah, to be loved by the “master of the anxious pause.”  Antonia Fraser was one lucky lady!

It Is Here (for A)

What sound was that?
I turn away, into the shaking room.

What was that sound that came in on the dark? 

What is this maze of light it leaves us in?

What is this stance we take,

to turn away and then turn back?

What did we hear?

It was the breath we took when we first met.

Listen.  It is here.

Found!

October 28, 2010

In a used copy of Prozac Nation ordered online.

Put it to a vote: which of these twats cried inky tears onto the pages of this angsty classic?  There’s one obvious guess…

Snippets Overheard…

October 28, 2010

at Mars Bar in NYC’s East Village, perhaps the REAL last vestige of downtown punk…

“I was a personal friend of John Lennon.”

“Nobody cook no fucking fish.  I got a seafood cooker.”

“That’s what you get for working for the people.”

“I need some legal advice!”
Guy wearing a camo coat and brandishing 2/3 empty bottle of cough syrup: “I can help.”
“I need a lawyer in South Carolina.”
“I know a lawyer in South Carolina.”
They exit.

Striking It Rich

October 27, 2010

I really want to strike it rich as a “fashion blogger” (think: Tavi and Bunny Bisous, who needs to get herself an NG tube FAST!) though that may be difficult considering I swore off buying any new clothing for a whole year this past January 1st (and am going strong!) and all I can think to say re: fashion is that I want to be Ruth Gordon in all her many incarnations.

Rosemary's gone have a BAY-BEE!

Adventures in Unemployment, Part II

October 27, 2010

So I’m looking around for more paying opportunities even though I have a job in the ghetto (a dude OD’ed in my office this morning and my boss and I drank FourLoko ’round three-thirty.  Not. Kidding.)  One of them that caught my eye was writing about relationships and giving advice (which I am very good at) and it claimed the compensation was “competitive.”  Hm.  So I applied with a cheeky cover letter, natch, and got this automated response.  Grammatical errors and commentary noted by italics.  This dude is also a wee bit too exclamation point happy.

From: PR

To: ID

Hey it’s great to hear from you!

I’m glad to see your interested in the Relationship writer position. There has [have] been many applicants lately so you are lucky to be one of them! [Um, lucky to be one of the applicants?  I think that really could be… anyone?] If you did not already know, becoming an —– is an excellent opportunity to expand or launch your writing career. Since your articles will be displayed on one of the highest visited sites on the internet, your credibility, visibility, and opportunities as a writer will increase drastically. —– are always being featured in magazines, newspapers, local events, and much more!

As an —— you can work from home and write when you want. You will own all of the articles you write, and there is no minimum amount you must write each month. ——- are paid through Paypal every month on time. Compensation is based on page views and other internet variables you will learn more about after applying. Basically what this means to you is that each article you write can earn you money forever! Also, there is no limit to how much money you can make! It’s pretty awesome.

Now let’s get back to the Relationship writer position you are interested in applying for. In order to apply please fill out this online application form here: ——

After clicking the link, choose the “Relationships” category from the drop down list then hit search. From there you can choose any of the topics that interest you. Also, if you wish to write about more than one topic, or topics in a different category, please go right ahead and do so. And if your area is wrong, or you plan on relocating, hit the change location button to choose the area nearest you!

Applying is fast and easy. After applying it usually takes about 3-5 days to see if you’ve been accepted. If you would like to expedite your application, please email me back after your application is submitted!

I look forward to hearing from you and Good Luck!

Eavesdropping

October 25, 2010

Guy next to me at a Starbucks in Washington DC is writing an essay, the first line of which is:

“We struggle our entire lives to find ourselves.”

Eek, sad first line.  I kind of want to tap him on the shoulder and offer some guidance!

Means More to Me, Surely

October 25, 2010

My longest running pen pal's father reading my manuscript...

It’s Friday Night! What are your plans?

October 22, 2010

I am having a good group cry session at a semi-swanky Manhattan bar.  Jealous!?!?