Just Had a Moronic Moment

August 27, 2009

…and forgot how to spell “androgyny.”

I swear, I’ll do some poignant here soon. It’s going to happen. The divine spirit will fill me at any moment and I will be unable to tear myself away from the page.

I read an essay today that was about ____ and writing, and it was pretty awful at de-constructing ____ but has come closer to describing the writing process than anything else I’ve ever read about writing (and that’s a pretty good deal of text!)  I suppose it’s personal for everyone, but her experience sounds most like mine…

“It seems to me that the desire to make art produces an ongoing experience of longing, a restlessness sometimes, but not inevitably, played out romantically, or sexually. Always there seems something ahead, the next poem or story, visible, at least, apprehensible but unreachable. To perceive it at all is to be haunted by it; some sound, some tone, becomes a torment –– the poem embodying that sound seems to exist somewhere already finished. It’s like a lighthouse, except that, as one swims back toward it, it backs away. ”

The myth of catharsis.  Sigh.

Oh! This reminds me. I write book reviews, and here are the synopses of some nonfiction books I may be assigned to read (assignments are SO fun!) I haven’t included reviews, per se (though I accidentally read a heated comment on the first entry, which sucks because now I feel as if my own opinions are poisoned and therefore I can’t evaluate properly, and I wanted to do that off the bat), just a summation, usually from Amazon.com (not linking):

The Wicked Son: Antisemitism, Self-Hatred and the Jews by David Mamet

The world hates the Jews. The world always has and will continue to do so.” So says celebrated playwright and novelist Mamet in this new entry in the Jewish Encounters series, as he sets his sights on both anti-Semites and apostate Jews, whom he refers to as “the Wicked Sons.” Mamet marshals his passion and mastery of language to argue that only religious observance is an authentic, non-self-hating expression of Judaism.

Ambrose Bierce’s Write it Right: The Celebrated Cynic’s Language Peeves Deciphered, Appraised And Annotated for 21st Century Readers Ambrose Bierce and Jan Freeman

In 1893, Ambrose Bierce declared “I am for preserving the ancient, primitive distinction between right and wrong.” In Write it Right, originally published in 1909, Bierce turned this considerable zeal on the English language. The result revealed that the satirical author of The Devil’s Dictionary had a keen ear for the vernacular—and that he hated it. This slim volume of his three hundred or so reviled words and expressions contains many we use today with no hesitation at all. (Of “electrocution” he says, “To one having even an elementary knowledge of Latin grammar this word is no less than disgusting, and the thing meant by it is felt to be altogether too good for the word’s inventor.”) Jan Freeman, acclaimed author of the weekly column “The Word” for the Boston Globe, annotates Bierce’s rulings with style, humor, and in-depth research, revealing what Bierce got right—and what he didn’t—and giving insight into how the language has changed over the past century. Write it Right, with its incisive wit and insight into the history of American English, is the perfect gift for word curmudgeons.

(Me: be still my heart!)

A book on Trotsky, but I’m not sure I’m well versed on the Russian Revolution enough to do this one…this could be my chance to learn more?

Out of My Life and Thought by Albert Schweitzer

His autobiography. I’ve always admired him, but for reasons which aren’t too clear to me…! I used to know!

(I have decided, as of this very moment, to not look on Amazon anymore because I can’t help but read just a leeeetle too much, so only titles from now on! If you don’t eat your meat, how can you have any pudding?)

Trotsky: A Biography

Another one? What’s with the wave of interest in Trotsky?

How to Be Inappropriate

On second thought, don’t really need to read a book on that…

So…what would YOU pick?

This entry (I am in denial about blogging; refuse to call it a “post”) reminds me of the other name I was considering giving this blog, “Unmistakeable Animal.” Sort of self-aggrandizing.

A Different Kind of Texts From Last Night

August 26, 2009

8:24:53 PM     PS: Umm, there is a girl no older than 10 reading “50 Successful Harvard Essays” here.  Fuck this life!

8:34:42            PS: In all honesty, I want to move out of society.  Not a pipedream!  Can and must happen!

8:35:28            PS: (and yes I just sent that in a text message)

Goodnight Prayer

August 25, 2009

To be said by the whole congregation, after the Minister, all kneeling:

Almighty and most merciful Father; we have erred, and strayed from thy ways like lost sheep.  We have followed too much the devices and desires of our own hearts.  We have offended against thy holy laws.  We have left undone those things which we ought to have done; And we have done those things which we ought not to have done; And there is no health in us.  But thou, O Lord, have mercy upon us, miserable offenders.  Spare thon those who are penitent; According to thy promises declared unto mankind in Christ Jesus our Lord.  And grant, O most merciful Father, for his sake; That we may hereafter lead a godly, righteous and sober life, To the glory of thy name.  Amen.

Craving Images?

August 24, 2009

Watch In a Dream tonight on HBO…great documentary on Isaiah Zagar, a mosaic artist who does entire building in Philadelphia, and is also cute as a button…

Isaiah Zagar's Magic Garden in Philly.

Isaiah Zagar's Magic Garden in Philly.

Fun with Isms!

August 24, 2009

Aphorism, schism, agnosticism, gnosticism, polytheism, futurism, absurdism, existentialism, nihilism, occultism, stegophilism, barbarism, anarchism, hedonism, masochism, sadism, terrorism, Orientalism, fascism, communism, Marxism, Judaism, Hinduism, Jainism, Shintoism, romanticism, Neoclassicism, classicism, modernism, post-modernism, Catholicism, freeganism, Buddhism, Zen Buddhism, Antisemitism, feminism, heroism, anachronism, alcoholism, consumerism, solipsism, isolationism, autism, evangelism, creationism, pacifism, militarism, separatism, loyalism, Mormonism, fanaticism, Calvinism, ageism, racism, historicism, revisionism, nationalism, socialism, patriotism, Kitty Chism, voyeurism, Anglicism, vegetarianism, veganism, neologism, onanism, Zoroastranism, Darwinism, baptism, formalism, anti-formalism, reductionism, botulism, symbolism, eroticism, behaviorism, witticism, altruism, asceticism, exoticism, anthropomorphism, stoicism, Naturalism, activism, monasticism, Protestantism, Impressionism, relativism, expressionism, positivism…
Keep it going, kids!

MASH!

August 23, 2009

B and I are wondering…who invented MASH?  Is anyone credited with this?

Great Excuses

August 19, 2009

I actually began writing a book of excuses, hopefully to be sold as a novelty text at like Urban Outfitters or in the Humor section at Barnes and Noble, but then I saw exactly that at UO!  I was pretty devastated.  Still, I think mine would have been better because it was going to be a practical book; essentially, you could flip through and open to a page and find yourself an appropriate excuse!  “Sorry I can’t come to your son’s brit milah tomorrow…I just found out I’m on duty for neighborhood watch.”  Etc.  This book I saw was a tiny, pretty thing with a section for famous excuses from history and clever categories like that but mine would have been much more systematic…less “In Praise of Excuses” and more “Excuses You Can Use!”

Here are some that I like to call Universal Excuses, ones that can serve as the scapegoat for any sort of general shittiness…

El Nino

Santa Ana winds (specific to California I GUESS)

Hormones

The Economy (sub-excuse: “I’m broke”)

Irritable Bowel Syndrome

“Family Problems”

Dissociative Fugue

Studying for a big test (LSAT, MCAT, GMAT, Realtor’s License, etc.)

Religious conflict

Attack of the Killer Tomatoes!

Fuck You, Time Warner

August 19, 2009

So the Internet in my house has been down for about three weeks, and someone from Time Warner is finally going to come tomorrow, hopefully to fix it, so I will finally have the time and access to write more substantial things here…and by “substantial,” I just mean longer, and not at all more interesting or poignant.  Well, maybe, but I can’t promise anything.

Some things I’ve been meaning to get off my chest…

It could be worse…

You could be Courtney Love, and you could have told New York Magazine that your new album is, “…really epic.  Very, very big.  It’s like giant black pyramids.  It’s like side two of The Wall.  The good side of The Wall.”

This is a good insult

“You have a flair for the obvious.”  ~Ed Hennessy

cake

Why do I have nothing more exciting to say?  I need this cake.

A Poem

August 18, 2009

Half Past Midnight

What good is an

Insomniac who is

not a poet?

Not So Infinite, Huh?!

August 17, 2009

I am done with Infinite Jest! Praise be to God! It was lovely but I’m happy to be out of DFW’s world, for now. Now on to a biography of Anne Sexton. The suicide marathon continues…

In his introduction, Dave Eggers said it took him one month to read IJ. It took me two point five, exactly. Fuck you, Dave Eggers.