“I Caught a Glimpse of a God All Shining and Bright”

September 3, 2009

The summer when I was twenty, I lived in a big old mansion on Riverside Drive in New York, in a room I had rented out from a friend. I was remarkably cut off from everything in the beginning of that season; the house’s thick walls and old carpeting were relics of a dead gilded age, and moving from that environment into the “real world” made me feel like a human prolepsis, not to mention I had lost my cell phone and broken my computer and had no television and very few people were living in the building at the time. My one source of entertainment for these particular three weeks was a) Tropic of Cancer and b) a stray CD given to this friend of mine by another friend’s boyfriend, who had very eclectic taste in music and went on to meet with some great success as the front man of a cheery, ironically (?) preppy indie band.

I can only remember two songs on the CD. One was 4 by Aphex Twin, and the other was a song by Kate Bush, the title of which I never knew UNTIL yesterday, when I managed to find it by Googling what I what was able to discern from the lyrics as “I don’t know why I’m crying” (a feat, if any of you listen to Kate Bush.) Though much of Kate Bush’s library is available on iTunes, this particular song, “Suspended in Gaffa,” is not. It is discordant and odd and haunting and energetic all at the same time. The lyrics are eerie…definitely contain some Biblical allusions that were always beyond me, or I’ve forgotten (aside from the camel and the eye and fitting through it thing. That one I got.) Below is the link. Enjoy!

http://laurasha.com/tunes/gaffa.mp3

Titles of Poems I Will Probably Never Write

September 2, 2009

“It Is So Nice For Me That You Are a Stranger Now”

“Lullaby for Marlon Brando”

“Thoughts Upon Watching Reruns of Sex dnd the City”

“This Can Be the Piece That Suffers”

“My Laundry List”

“The Teaspoon and Co.”

“What They Told Me About You Is True”

“Cemetery Drive-Bys”

“The Nonexistent Book”

“Tiny Baroque Villages”

“Overwhelming Radiation”

“Things I’ve Lost to Water”

“Template”

“Where Have You Gone, Madame Bovary?”

“Belvedere Palace, Circa Now”

“Bourgeoisie Horror”

“Ten Thousand Reasons Why I Hate the Continent of Africa In No Particular Order”

Why Aren’t People This Quick and Mean in Real Life?

September 1, 2009
Audrey Hepburn in Charade

Audrey Hepburn in Charade

Peter: We don’t know each other, do we?
Reggie: Why? Do you think we’re going to?
Peter: I don’t know — how would I know?
Reggie: Because I already know an awful lot of people; until one of them dies, I couldn’t possibly meet anyone else.
Peter: Mmm. Well, if anyone goes on the critical list, let me know.

(from Charade, 1963, starring Audrey Hepburn and Cary Grant)

Ambien, Writ

September 1, 2009

I’m trying out a new technique to help me fall asleep.  It’s called Reading Jung.  So far, it’s working out pretty well.

Sunday Blues

August 30, 2009

Shahn

Retroactive Categorization

August 30, 2009

There is something strange about realizing your thoughts can be categorized in retrospect…I realize now two categories that emerge clearly from the entries in this blog…I can’t quite put my finger on why that is bizarre…I think it has something to do with either a) fatalism or b) the fact that I’m overly analytical.

New Categories are:

Poems

I Hate Writing (this one I started the other day, but I realize I have to go back and put a LOT of entries in there.)

I’m Registered at…

August 30, 2009

My friend E is getting married (Mazel Tov!) and while I enjoy weddings immensely, E’s latest email has alerted me to a large problem with the entire institution of marriage: the registry.  Registries are so FUCKING boring!  I mean, honestly, never in my life do  I want to give someone a set of pans as a gift, nor would I ever endeavor to ask someone to buy me salt shakers.  How impersonal and totally lame.  Here is my hypothetical registry for those who plan on coming to my wedding (in ten years or so), which is going to be rad, you may be able to guess…

Diamonds –– big ones

First editions of books

a pet turtle

bongos!

exotic fruit

statues of horses or birds

Koi fish (and a pond to put them in)

good wine

pay for my mound of dry cleaning

write me a love letter

classes to brush up on my scuba diving skillz

a piano (you know what, any sort of musical instrument will work, save the tuba.  no interest in the tuba whatsoever.)

any sort of art…well, I’d like to take a look at it first…in case it’s heinous…but if you’re coming to my wedding you ought to know what my taste is.

subscription to The New Yorker or Harper’s or Vogue

An assistant

New ballet slippers

God, this is fun.  I could go on for ages.  But I won’t.

Heinous Bitchy Thought of the Day

August 28, 2009

Middle aged and FAT is not a disability, okay, so don’t look at me with those disapproving eyes and pout your lips when I’m sitting down on the subway and you have to stand, I actually think you SHOULD stand because it’s not good to be overweight, I’m actually trying to PREVENT late-onset diabetes, okAY, so don’t look all constipated because I’m not standing up, I do my fair share of it, and perhaps you should, too.

Oh My God, You Are Wrong

August 27, 2009

My boss is dictating and comparing our winter home, the Savoy Hotel in Miami Beach (eek! Whereabouts!) to a Southern Plantation.

Ladies and gentlemen of the Nabokovian jury, I present to you:

savoyThe Savoy

and…

southernplantationa typical “Southern Plantation,” retrieved from GoogleImages.  (What else?)

I tried to tell him numerous times that he’s wrong, wrong, wrong, but nobody listens to me. I’m like Rodney Dangerfield.

Read Me a Story!

August 27, 2009
But I'm not tiiiiiiiired yeeeeeet.

But I'm not tiiiiiiiired yeeeeeet.