A work in progress.
Help me fill it in!
Also, last night this was in my dream.
My Approval Matrix
August 26, 2014Insomniac Debates
August 19, 2014Resolved: What About Bob is the best cinematic depiction of psychotherapy ever made. Prince of Tides is the worst.
Gentlemen, start your engines.
An Open Question to Literary Critics
August 19, 2014What effect does it have when a narrator in a work of fiction goes unnamed?
So Apparently
August 17, 2014I guess it will be not that surprising to people who know me that I got sucked into a bit of a k-hole today reading the last statements of criminals about to be executed in Texas. Oh, Texas––that bastion of bureaucratic productivity! Thank you ever so much for being so organized in your effort to let the public see what those poor suckers you’re offing have to say! Perhaps my favorite is Michael Yowell’s, because he takes the opportunity to call out his friend (?) Gerald for being a “zero.” Also I really enjoy Caroll Parr’s, because she takes the opportunity to quote The Terminator. But mostly, they are really harrowing (“I’m an innocent man. I did not kill anyone. Ya’ll are killing an innocent man. My left arm is killing me. It hurts bad.” ––Jonathan Green) or predictable (“I am going home to be with Jesus. Keep the faith,” says Kimberly McCarthy) or heartbreaking (“Can you hear me? Did I ever tell you, you have dad’s eyes? I’ve noticed that in the last couple of days”: Ramon Torres Hernandez ) or intriguing (Last statement of Douglas Alan Feldman: “I hereby declare, Robert Steven Everett and Nicholas Velasquez, guilty of crimes against me, Douglas Alan Feldman. Either by fact or by proxy, I find them both guilty. I hereby sentence both of them to death, which I carried out in August 1998. As of that time, the State of Texas has been holding me illegally in confinement and by force for 15 years. I hereby protest my pending execution and demand immediate relief.”) For your Monday morning: YOU’RE WELCOME.
Creativity Mathematics
August 14, 2014“It takes a lot of time to be a genius. You have to sit around so much, doing nothing, really doing nothing” (Gertrude Stein) + “Everything is raw material. Everything is relevant. Everything is usable. Everything feeds into my creativity” (Twylla Tharp) = “29. You’re a Genius all the time” (Jack Kerouac)
RIP Lauren Bacall
August 14, 2014Looking tznius! Did not know that she was a sexy Jewess until now. Ha’makom yenahem etkhem betokh she’ar avelei Tziyonvi’Yerushalayim.
Easy breezy.
I Hate Myself for Loving You
August 10, 2014I really didn’t want to be smitten by you, because I think you are heartless and cruel, and only beautiful in some pictures, to boot. But here we are. Lady Caroline Blackwood: I love you.
Girl in Bed.
Thinking of giving a very talented seamstress the following poem, inspired by you, and asking for a dress made according to its specifications.
“Leaf-Lace Dress”
Leaf-lace, a simple intricate design––
if you were not inside it, nothing much,
bits of glinting silver on crinkled lace––
you fall perhaps metallic and as good,
whole spirit wrought from toys and nondescript,
though nothing less than the best woman in the world.
Cold the green shadows iron the seldom sun,
harvest has worn her swelling shirt to dirt.
Agony says we cannot live in one house ,
or under a common name. This was the sentence––
I have lost everything. I feel a strength,
I have walked five miles, and still desire to throw
my feet off, be asleep with you… asleep and young.
MOOD BOARD:
The whole thing is ugly though the sleeve is beautiful.
Circa 1900. No biggie.
Anne Sexton Fellowship at McLean Hospital
August 7, 2014Announcing a program I have helped to develop––the Anne Sexton Fellowship at McLean Hospital! Start your engines. See the application here, and download below. Email completed applications to annesextonfellowship@harvard.mclean.edu.
The chance of a lifetime!
I AM HIRING A SECOND ASSISTANT
August 7, 2014Siobhan has like, way too much on her plate, because she’s always judging existential competitions (don’t ask), dealing with the commissions for my micrographic art, and answering hate mail. So––I need a new assistant! Part time, probably two hours a day, and some on-call hours. Your sole job is to stand nearby while I write and find––with haste!––the book I need from my library. Sometimes I’ll know the titles, but more often than not, you’ll be given this type of prompt: “It’s a fat, sort of pinkish paperback and the word ‘waltz’ is in the title.” I’ll take the applications for this one––I’ve sent Siobhan on vacation.
Monday Morning at the Office
August 4, 2014ID: i’m having a problem right now that only i could be capable of having
i need to call this cult
but i have phone phobia
so yeah
TC: HAHAHAHAHAHA
omg that line made my morning
are you going to try to go to a meeting
ID: i went to their deli
they own a bunch of delis
i asked for mustard and the waiter said, “with all my heart!”
TC: stop it
