MWL: The things people say to me these days…
MWL: Returned a wedding dress to ModCloth, and they told me “time heals all wounds”
MWL: Changed my policy with geico and the agent said, “OK! You’re Miss Independent now!”
Texts From a Friend Who Just Broke Off an Engagement
May 15, 2014A Recipe for Insomnia
May 14, 2014Thinking about––The theme from “Le Locataire,” by Philippe Sarde, Chopin’s Ballade 1, Three Women, Anne Sexton, Agnes Richter, handwritten notes, unpaid bills, unwritten notes, freshly baked biscuits
I Miss You Every Day
May 13, 2014I really wanted to post something original––I have an okay original essay that I shopped around a bit and might slap up here––but when I came across this anecdote about Sylvia Beach, doyenne of the original Shakespeare & Co., my most special home, I just couldn’t resist sharing it. Background: this take place during the Nazi occupation of Paris, obvs.
“My German customers were always rare, but of course after I was classified as ‘the enemy,’ they stopped coming altogether––until a last outstanding visit ended the series. A high-ranking German officer, who had got out of a huge gray military car, stopped to look at a copy of Finnegans Wake. Then he came in and, speaking perfect English, said he would buy it. ‘It’s not for sale.’ ‘Why not?’ My last copy, I explained. I was keeping it. For whom? For myself. He was angry. He was so interested in Joyce’s work, he said. Still I was firm. Out he strode, and I removed Finnegans Wake from the window and put it safely away.
“A fortnight later, the same officer strode into the bookshop. Where was Finnegans Wake? I had put it away. Fairly trembling with rage, he said, ‘We’re coming to confiscate all your goods today.’ ‘All right.’ He drove off.
“I consulted my concierge. She opened an unoccupied apartment on the third floor. (My own apartment was on the second floor.) My friends and I carried all the books and all the photographs upstairs, mostly in clothesbaskets; and all the furniture. We even removed the electric-light fixtures. I had a carpenter take down the shelves. Within two hours, not a single thing was to be seen in the shop, and a house painter had painted out the name, Shakespeare and Company, on the front of 12 rue de l’Odeon. The date was 1941. Did the Germans come to confiscate Shakespeare and Company’s goods? If so, they never found the shop.
“Eventually, they did come to fetch the proprietor of Shakespeare and Company.”
A Psychology Writer’s Fantasy
May 9, 2014“I also had the benefit of being given completely free rein to wander into any office, basement, attic or storeroom at Chestnut Lodge over a five-year period and read whatever I found there. Because the Lodge’s archives were being created during precisely these years, I was allowed the pleasure of reading each manuscript, listening to each tape, and studying each photograph within a few months of its discovery. This is every biographer’s dream: being handed the keys to a room filled with treasures and told simply to turn out the lights at the end of the evening. (Since I was on the grounds of a still-vibrant mental hospital, I was also told that if I wanted lunch or dinner in the cafeteria as a break from working, I should simply sign myself in under ‘guests.’) Researchers who must rely on archives constructed according to someone else’s plan have to spend a lot more time searching for what they need than I did.”
~ From Gail Hornstein’s (excellent) biography of Frieda Fromm-Reichmann, To Redeem One Person Is to Redeem the World
A Tweet, and a Theory
May 8, 2014A Tweet: @Green-WoodCemetery––You should have a writer’s residency program like AmTrak.
A theory: There are two kinds of people in the world: those who are comforted by knowing other people have problems very similar to their own and those who are comforted by knowing other people have problems very different than their own.
Today
May 7, 2014Started off slow, but ended up crazy.
Ralph Steadman’s Alice in Wonderland.
Back By Popular Demand
May 7, 2014By request, I’ve decided to recreate one of my most popular posts of last year: quick and dirty reviews of Met Ball looks. This year, I’m using the Cut’s slideshow (which is not to say I didn’t use it last year––I genuinely don’t remember) and I have to say, I HAVE A LOT OF PROBLEMS WITH YOU PEOPLE:
1. Beyonce: Interesting, I admit begrudgingly
2. Taylor Swift: Dancing with the Stars prom-themed reunion show
3. Lupita Nyong’o: so many feelings
4. Kim and Kanye: boring, as always
5. Anna Wintour: ditto
6. The Olsen Twins: Why do I love this?
7. Rihanna: Hashem WHEN WILL THE CROP TOP TREND DIE?
8. Anne Hathaway: the only good example of a CT I’ve seen in ages
9. Gisele: Yet another reminder that perfection is boring
10. Jessica Lange: Hello eyebrow lift
11. Kristen Stewart, I like parts and hate the whole
12. SJP: I am bizarrely underwhelmed
13. Victoria Beckham: WHY IS EVERYONE SO BORING
14. Naomi Campbell: without the cut-outs this would have been awesome in a Liberace sorta way
15. Karlie Kloss: Hate elbow length gloves on women
16. Amber Valletta: THERE ARE NO PANTS AT THE BALL! (name that movie)
17. Katie Holmes: Why kick her when she’s down?
18. Michelle Williams: I feel like I’ve seen her in this a million times before
19. Amy Adams: The first one I’ve actively liked
20. Rita Ora: Who exactly is Rita Ora?
21. Donatella Versace: Hard to look away from that face
22. Nicole Richie: I know I should hate this more than I do, but it reminds me of 8th grade
23. Jourdan Dunn and Toni Garra: Models? I like both. Then again, hard to go wrong when you’re that tall
24. Emma Stone: She looks pretty great
25. Kate Upton: Chiquita Banana, in mourning
26. Cara Delevingne: Michelle Rodriguez was a bad sartorial influence
27. Kirsten Dunst: Oh please
28. Lena Dunham: What I want to say will certainly not be PC
29. Jenna Lyons: AHHHH IT’S A TALL GOLUM
30. Marion Cotillard: Not so bad from this angle, but I think I’d hate it from a different one
31. Solange: Is that a bad toupee?
32. Joy Bryant: Hello 2001?
33. Chloe Sevigny: forgot the gestalt aspect
34. Jessica Pare: Not bad
35. Kristein Wiig: WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT PANTS
36. Bradley Cooper: skipping stupid boys
37. Shailene Woodley: Disaster
38. Amber Heard: fine, but Johnny Depp looks like Ebenezer Scrooge out on the town
39. Florence Welch: Never change
40. Zoe Saldana: Decent
41. Kate Bosworth: decent, albeit sorta emaciated
42. Stephanie Seymour: Chiquita Banana, at play!
43. Rachel McAdams: too monochrome for her own good
44. Rashida Jones: the ball gown thing doesn’t really work for her
45. Erykah Badu: Pharrell’s hat on steroids
46. Maggie Gyllenhaal: Someone else said it best––a 70s cult leader all dressed up
47. Stella McCartney: Why so glum?
48. Allison Williams: nice
49. Frank Ocean: I think I like him, in general
50. Charlize Theron: lose the jacket
51. Margot Robbie: Oof
52. Miguel: who?
53. Naomi Watts: I’d also like to get rid of this sheer bottom trend thing
54. Claire Danes: I hate it despite the fact that it’s relatively unoffensive
55. Chrissy Teigen: A little strange in the stomach area, but different, so yay?
56. Anna Kendrick: Didn’t she wear this to the Oscars?
57. Emmy Rossum: tablecloth
58. Kate Mara: moss on a rock
59. BOY
60. Chanel Iman: She looks great, but A$AP ROCKY is terrifying
61. Hailee Steinfeld: Um. It’s not doing anything for me.
62. Blake Lively: The usual Barbie fare
63. Elizabeth Olsen: Toddlers & Tiaras (although I dig the shoes)
64. Sarah Silverman: I cannot deal with her in this context
65. Christy Turlington: Well done
66. Rosamund Pike: No
67. Donna Karan: diaphanous ain’t working for her
68. Reese Witherspoon: Yeah I like it
69. Joan Smalls: The lipstick would have worked LAST YEAR
70.Karolina Kurkova: Very… large
71. Adele Exarchopoulos: I didn’t even recognize her. Hm. I need to think about this.
72. Bee Shaffer: Alright
73. Dee Hilfiger: Poorly executed Mad Men reference?
74. Fei Fei Sun, Marina Rust, Tori Burch: Okay for the first two, I take back what I said re: gloves. Tori, on the other hand, looks matronly.
75. Karen Elson: Kinda love it.
76. Maggie Q: Who?
77. BOY
78. Alexa Chung: I am positive I would have loved this when I was 21
79. Chloe Grace Moretz: I am rooting for this kid, really
80. Amanda Peet: Makes her look dumpy. Which is… crazy.
81. Robin Deardon: Fine
82. Zooey Deschanel: Too prom-y
83. Sofia Coppola: I don’t hate this!
84. Diane Kruger: Nice, but a little old for her?
85. Janelle Monae: Hipster matador
86. DUDE
87. Greta Gerwig: UUUUUUGHHHH
88. Felicity Jones: Coulda used some make-up?
89. Kendall Jenner: I respectfully decline to recognize her existence
90. Natalie Massenet: Her torso looks like book pages flapping in the wind
91. Jessica Alba: Makes her look pregnant, oddly
92. MEN (ish)
93. Lily Allen: Hate. Loathe. Despise.
94. Oh I just can’t
95. Lake Bell: She looks bomb.
96. Elettra Wiedemann: They spelled her last name wrong. That’s all I’ve got.
97. GUGU!?
98. Olivia Munn: Would have been better with slightly less tit
99. Riley Keough: Disqualified for pants
100. Fabiola Beracasa: Uh, sure. Not wild about the color but everything else is pretty glam.
101. Lea Michele: A poor man’s Amy Adams in American Hustle
102. Catherine Martin: Delightfully wacky
103. Kylie Minogue: Yawn
104. Zoe Kravitz: I can actually SEE YOUR VAGINA
105. Hayden Panettiere: Prom in Palm Beach
106.Elaina Watley: I don’t know who this is, and I never want to see her dress again.
107. Leighton Meester: I don’t hate this.
108. Laetitia Casta: Hm. Interesting. The cut on top is a little dumpy but otherwise not bad.
109. Ruth Wilson: I like her face?
110. Selena Gomez: She dresses like a 47 year old
111. Lily Aldridge: She is as exciting to me as Melba toast
112. Ming Xi: My lord she is slim
113. Michelle Monaghan: You go, Maggie!
114. Julie Macklowe: It’s so bright.
115. Ivanka Trump: Rivals #114 for worst color
116. BOY
117. Dree Hemingway: I’ve stayed up since I saw this trying to decipher how I feel about it
118. Imogen Poots: Her last name sounds like how I feel about this dress
119. Livia Guggioli: Orange and black––bold idea
120. Dianna Agron: Feh
121. Georgia May Jagger: My lesbian crush looks awesome
122. Suki Waterhouse: Looks way skinner than she did last week, eh? Dress is fine?
123. Rosie Huntington-Whiteley: Yeah, okay, I’m into it!
124. Liu Wen: A
125. Dita Von Teese: the mermaid tail is amazing
126. Katie Couric: Does nothing for her
127. Emily Cole: Is that his daughter? That’s as much enthusiasm as I can muster
128. Giovanna Battaglia: Looks like it’s going to fall off
129. Gabrielle Union: Burn this
130. BOY
131. Dakota Johnson: Do we just have to lie down and take her fame now?
132. Brie Larson: Clown with a spending problem. Or something. PLEASE KILL ME.
133. Stacy Martin: Man, what a person with a teaspoon of fashion sense could do with her body. Sigh.
134. LaLa Anthony: WOAH
135. Sandra Lee: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA
136. Arizona Muse: Yep, awesome
137. Aerin Lauder: Is it weird that I keep thinking about how old we’re all getting?
138. Tabitha Simmons: Interesting but it sort of makes her look… stout?
139. BOY
140. Nancy Chilton: I should know who this is
141. Oof, Anna Wintour’s son looks… not cute
142. BOY
143. Coco Brandolini and Bianca Brandolini: They look just like the D&G ads?
144. Idina Menzel: Lea Michele made bigger
145. Selby Drummond: Thoughtful, at least?
146. Hannah Bagshawe: LIPSTICK: wear it.
147. Sandrina Bencomo: Don’t like the hoop at the waist, but it seems like it would be hard for her to look really horrible.
OMG That was painful. Off to have a morning martini…
Jealousy, Transformed
May 5, 2014I hate when I feel a tinge of the green monster when reading an article I wish I had written. Of course, I immediately expected to feel that way when I read Stephanie Rosenbloom’s “Solo in Paris” in the Times. When I went to Paris alone on vacation in 2011, I had figured it was the whimsy of a naif; but lo, it was a worthwhile topic, in the Times, no less!
“This was not simply because I was in Paris,” she writes, “though it has long held a kind of magic for many Americans. It was because I was there on my own. In a city that has been perfecting beauty since the reign of Napoleon III, there are innumerable sensual details — patterns, textures, colors, sounds — that can be diluted, even missed, when chattering with someone or collaborating on an itinerary. Alone one becomes acutely aware of the hollow clack of pétanque balls in a park; the patina of Maillol’s bronze “Baigneuse se Coiffant” that makes her look wet even on a cloudless day in the Tuileries; how each of the empty wine bottles beside sidewalk recycling bins is the embodiment of someone’s good time. There is a Paris that deeply rewards the solo traveler.”
At the end, she wonders if she can ever retain that blissful feeling that comes from walking around Paris with no agenda. I’m here to tell you, Stephanie, that you can. Reading your piece brought back that feeling for me. Literary Prozac, of sorts. Or Beaujolais Nouveau. Perhaps I will write my own travelogue, and someone else can write theirs, and so on and so forth, and we can pile them all into an anthology to be titled The Joy of the Flaneur.
DEAR HARPERCOLLINS
May 1, 2014Please let me read the audiobook version of To Kill a Mockingbird!
To Kill a Mockingbird will finally be available as an e-book and digital audiobook this summer after self-described “old-fashioned” author Harper Lee signed off on allowing the Pulitzer Prize-winning classic to enter the digital age.
In a statement released through her publisher HarperCollins, Lee, who turned 88 on Monday said:
“I’m still old-fashioned. I love dusty old books and libraries. I am amazed and humbled that ‘Mockingbird’ has survived this long. This is ‘Mockingbird’ for a new generation.”
The digital copies will be available for download on July 8. The e-book will be “enhanced” and will include additional material, although a spokesperson from HarperCollins said the extra features had not yet been determined.
(via––sigh––Jezebel)
Update: Sissy Spacek is reading it. I guess that’s an okay choice.
Day After Birthday
April 29, 2014Thinking, as usual, about my current real estate obsession, the Villa Charlotte Bronte.
“To get to one apartment, you have to go down two flights toward the Hudson, then turn right and go up two flights to the front door. Another front door is behind a small arched grotto. A third is at the end of a thin, high-flying concrete walkway with a skinny iron railing, cantilevered out over a long and nasty drop to the railroad tracks below.
“The two buildings are like a fantasy sand castle for the Amalfi coast designed by M. C. Escher. The exterior is artfully roughened stucco, with irregular brick, odd stones and bulbous roof tile in a tangle of orange, green, blue and red, as if by Antonio Gaudí. Each apartment has at least three exposures through steel casement windows, with a private entrance and a wood-burning fireplace. The Hudson River views range from sliver to sumptuous. The complex is surrounded by a network of walkways threaded through lush planted areas.”
