Archive for August, 2014

Anne Sexton Fellowship at McLean Hospital

August 7, 2014

Announcing a program I have helped to develop––the Anne Sexton Fellowship at McLean Hospital!  Start your engines.  See the application here, and download below.  Email completed applications to

The chance of a lifetime!

The chance of a lifetime!


Application for the Anne Sexton Fellowship at McLean


August 7, 2014

Siobhan has like, way too much on her plate, because she’s always judging existential competitions (don’t ask), dealing with the commissions for my micrographic art, and answering hate mail.  So––I need a new assistant!  Part time, probably two hours a day, and some on-call hours.  Your sole job is to stand nearby while I write and find––with haste!––the book I need from my library.  Sometimes I’ll know the titles, but more often than not, you’ll be given this type of prompt: “It’s a fat, sort of pinkish paperback and the word ‘waltz’ is in the title.”  I’ll take the applications for this one––I’ve sent Siobhan on vacation.

Monday Morning at the Office

August 4, 2014
ID i’m having a problem right now that only i could be capable of having
i need to call this cult
but i have phone phobia
so yeah
omg that line made my morning
are you going to try to go to a meeting
ID i went to their deli
they own a bunch of delis
i asked for mustard and the waiter said, “with all my heart!”
TC stop it

Highbrow SPAM

August 4, 2014

I received a notice for penis enlarging pills from Mrs. Nicole Diver, of Tender is the Night.  I’ve never been so tempted to click on the link.

Pullman vs. Paxton

August 3, 2014

While on vacation with my family in Bermuda, I inadvertently came up with the most genius game since Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon: Pullman vs. Paxton!  Up tonight, level one––basic IMDB info.  Which Bill P. was in the flick?  Score yourself below.

Let's play!

Let’s play!

1. Spaceballs

2. Lola Versus

3. Titanic

4. The Grudge

5. Mighty Joe Young

6. Boxing Helena

7. The Terminator

8. Brokedown Palace

9. True Lies

10. Newsies











1. Pullman, 2. Pullman, 3. Paxton, 4. Pullman, 5. Paxton, 6. Paxton, 7. Paxton, 8. Pullman, 9. Paxton, 10. Pullman


Between 0-3 correct: Steerage Class

Sorry, you’re just not ready for the Paxton vs. Pullman big leagues just yet.

Between 4 and 7 correct: Pizza the Hut

Well done!  Grab yourself another wife.

Between 8 and 10 correct: You’ll Be Back

Wowee, you really know your stuff!  Advance to the next level, “Who Said It: Quotes by Bill P.”




August 1, 2014

I’m on leg three of a four-leg journey––a tour, if you will––up in Boston researching a piece on Anne Sexton.  Today, I visited McLean Hospital, Sexton’s old house in Weston, and a school I was obsessed with when I went through my “free education” phase in high school (this was mainly because I was jealous of kids who didn’t have to take science.)  Finally back in my weird B&B––the proprietor is trying so hard to make it charming New England, but it has a slight edge of trailer park––I’m thinking again about how writers, or at least this one, can’t go to therapy.  I mean, they can, but in my brief return to therapy earlier this year, I realized about how often I would notice my therapist’s face blanch when she realized I was about to talk about my writerly problems again.  What I need is a mentor, an older, professional writer who can advise me as to when to press editors and when to back off, what topics are bankable and which ones aren’t, when productivity is good and when you’ve exhausted your audience for the moment, and so forth.  If someone can do this for me, all I can offer is to pay it forward, and provide such a service for a young upstart once I hit a nice stride.  I’m guessing that will be in, oh, twenty to thirty years.