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Archive for the ‘Image Craving’ Category
Testing
August 27, 2014My Approval Matrix
August 26, 2014
RIP Lauren Bacall
August 14, 2014Looking tznius! Did not know that she was a sexy Jewess until now. Ha’makom yenahem etkhem betokh she’ar avelei Tziyonvi’Yerushalayim.
Easy breezy.
I Hate Myself for Loving You
August 10, 2014I really didn’t want to be smitten by you, because I think you are heartless and cruel, and only beautiful in some pictures, to boot. But here we are. Lady Caroline Blackwood: I love you.
Girl in Bed.
Thinking of giving a very talented seamstress the following poem, inspired by you, and asking for a dress made according to its specifications.
“Leaf-Lace Dress”
Leaf-lace, a simple intricate design––
if you were not inside it, nothing much,
bits of glinting silver on crinkled lace––
you fall perhaps metallic and as good,
whole spirit wrought from toys and nondescript,
though nothing less than the best woman in the world.
Cold the green shadows iron the seldom sun,
harvest has worn her swelling shirt to dirt.
Agony says we cannot live in one house ,
or under a common name. This was the sentence––
I have lost everything. I feel a strength,
I have walked five miles, and still desire to throw
my feet off, be asleep with you… asleep and young.
MOOD BOARD:
The whole thing is ugly though the sleeve is beautiful.
Circa 1900. No biggie.
Pullman vs. Paxton
August 3, 2014While on vacation with my family in Bermuda, I inadvertently came up with the most genius game since Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon: Pullman vs. Paxton! Up tonight, level one––basic IMDB info. Which Bill P. was in the flick? Score yourself below.
Let’s play!
1. Spaceballs
2. Lola Versus
3. Titanic
4. The Grudge
5. Mighty Joe Young
6. Boxing Helena
7. The Terminator
8. Brokedown Palace
9. True Lies
10. Newsies
DON’T PEEK!
Answers:
1. Pullman, 2. Pullman, 3. Paxton, 4. Pullman, 5. Paxton, 6. Paxton, 7. Paxton, 8. Pullman, 9. Paxton, 10. Pullman
Between 0-3 correct: Steerage Class
Sorry, you’re just not ready for the Paxton vs. Pullman big leagues just yet.
Between 4 and 7 correct: Pizza the Hut
Well done! Grab yourself another wife.
Between 8 and 10 correct: You’ll Be Back
Wowee, you really know your stuff! Advance to the next level, “Who Said It: Quotes by Bill P.”
Family Vacation
July 25, 2014IS: brb casually twerking in pink visor and one piece bathing suit
(Side note: what does a casual twerk look like, versus a fancy twerk?)
I Fucking Hate NYC
July 18, 2014I’m so over it. Newest blow: the most adorable little house in the world, at 121 Charles Street, is probs going to be torn down to make room for an ugly glass bougie panopticon-esque highrise of some sort.
So teeny!
In addition, Maeve Brennan, whom I borderline idolize (both sartorially and artistically), wrote a very charming piece in her New Yorker column about monitoring this house’s move from uptown to downtown. An excerpt, which I had to dig through the TNY archives for (you’re welcome):
“Tonight, Sunday, March 6th (1967), I heard on the radio that a two-hundred-year-old wooden farmhouse was moved this morning from Seventy-first Street and York Avenue all the way down to Charles Street, in the village–-a five mile journey. The move was a rescue. The farmhouse was about to be demolished, because it was in the way of a new building plan. [Editor’s note: I guess everything has always sucked] I live in the Village, and I thought I’d walk over and see the house––see how it was standing up to its first night away from its birth site… But when I stepped up on the sidewalk on the northeast corner of Hudson and Charles Street I saw the house. It was up in the air, a ghost shape, at the end of the block, on the northeast corner of Charles Street and Greenwich Street. The eastern wall of the farmhouse is painted a dark color, but the front wall, facing Charles Street, is white, and as I approached it I got a sidewise glimmer of it that defined the whole tiny structure. It was a very tiny house––much smaller than I had expected. That must have been a very small farmer who built it.”
I actually heard this extract when I was on a walking tour of Maeve Brennan’s Greenwich Village one afternoon when I was dead tired and my fingers were covered were grease from McDonald’s fries. As they say: nothing charming stays. But on the other hand, an article in NY Mag recently covered the “co-buying” trend, so if a very tiny family would like to team up with my very tiny family (two people and two cats) and purchase this little abode at the bargain price of $20 million, contact Siobhan––she’ll know what to do.
Dwarfed!
The Shining Twins
July 14, 2014on their way to their joint wedding.
Come and marry us, Danny.
YOU GUYS
July 7, 2014I cannot believe I forgot to blog about my genius art project with my crafty friend LM. It’s been on Etsy for ages and for reasons completely beyond me, did not manage to go viral. For your consideration: Carcosan Mirror.
Its shape is that of time.
Hello there.
And here is the genius copy I wrote for it:
This mirror is 1.5” in diameter. Gazing into it, you can see a little more than one eye, in addition to the depths of your dark, depraved soul. Perfect for the anti-natalist in your life who doesn’t care about her hairdo, or the hard-drinking chain smoker who’d rather contemplate the non-linear nature of time than watch football with his buddies. Looks great on bare, slightly discolored walls.
If shipping domestically, mirror will arrive between 3-7 business days, and arrive over and over again as you eternally wander around the flat circle of time that is your life.
Questions: email Dora Lange at itinerantdaughterandson [!at] gmail.com. PLEASE NOTE that the manufacturers are on vacation in the Bayou until Sunday, March 9th, and will fill orders after they return… if they do at all.
Enjoy?
In case you want to grab one before my listing expires, here is the link.
Yom Kippur Outfit
June 19, 2014
You always look so cleansed.
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