Someone I consider a good friend (but I’ve never met him IRL) told me he wrote a blurb for a children’s counting book called Happy Punks 1 2 3 and I couldn’t resist picking it up for… well, anyone I know who has a kid, although I’m quite content to keep it for myself if no one else is interested. Basically the book follows a motley crew of weirdos as they go about advertising their rock show, eating pizza pre-show and then performing. It’s pretty tame for punks (no dragon-chasing involved) but perfect for hipster bebes! (Apparently the authors also have made Happy Punk paper dolls.)
Archive for the ‘Image Craving’ Category
COUNTING
May 3, 2013Mansion Hunting
April 30, 2013While (still!) looking for an apartment, I found Satis House. It looks as if you’d need to bushwhack just to get inside. A little bit of jungle adventure before the morning commute would do a person good!
“So unchanging was the dull old house, the yellow light in the darkened room, the faded spectre in the chair by the dressing-table glass, that I felt as if the stopping of the clocks had stopped Time in that mysterious place, and, while I and everything else outside it grew older, it stood still. Daylight never entered the house as to my thoughts and remembrances of it, any more than as to the actual fact. It bewildered me, and under its influence I continued at heart to hate my trade and to be ashamed of home.”
Hangover Island
April 24, 2013While searching my new favorite website to find a good spot for my commune to relocate to, I came across this darling little isle in –– where else? –– Florida!
Name:Hangover Island
Region:Florida, United States
Location:30 minutes from Ocala
Development:Non-developed
Title:Freehold
Type:Private Island
Price:USD 300,000 convert
Status:For Sale
Size:40.00 Acres / 16.19 HA
ABOUT HANGOVER ISLAND
Come play where the Indians played, on your own 40 acre island with an Indian Mound over 8 feet in elevation. Find artifacts on your oyster shell beach like arrowheads, pottery, etc.
It is approximately one half mile to electricity on Pasco Island. Hangover Island is centrally located between the Crystal River and the Homosassa River on the beautiful Saint Martins River.
Crystal River is home of the world’s largest Manatee sanctuary; all the local waterways have manatee. They migrate right past Hangover Island. The wildlife and fish populations abound, that’s why they call this The Nature Coast of Florida.
The St. Martins River has a marked channel – it is approximately 2 miles to the Gulf of Mexico and one mile to the town of Ozello. The quaint waterfront town of Ozello is located approximately 30 minutes to Ocala, 1 hour from Tampa, 2 hours from Orlando (Disneyworld).
Excellent inshore and offshore fishing and sightseeing.
The owner is motivated to sell and will also consider a trade for a mountain property in the Eastern US.
*Luckily for the owner I have a mountain property in the Eastern US I’ve been meaning to offload.
Tiny Houses
April 18, 2013I am deep in the apartment search right now and I came across this darling little old house that I was about to pounce on:
But then I realized that it’s essentially under the BQE (that’s a highway, for the uninitiated.) For a moment there I thought maybe it could be the beginnings of a comedy, a la Woody Allen living beneath the Cyclone in Annie Hall, but that would be totally derivative. Ah well––back to the grind!
Because You Watched…
April 4, 2013So I’ve been quite for a week (if only I were given such latitude in real life!) because I had THE FLU! The dreaded flu. And yes, it was horrible, and yes, I will never, ever eschew getting a flu shot again, but I did get to lie in bed and watch about 70 movies for four days, even though of the 70 movies I probably only finished about 10 due to sleepiness. Oddly enough, my choice in movies while sick is very different from my choice in movies while well/sober.
Well: Preferably European art house with no discernible plot and only a vague moral about the meaninglessness of life
Sick: 90s American made by a big studio, preferably starring Julia Roberts
I know, embarrassing, but I tell you this because after watching a particular choice Roberts flick, I noticed that Netflix was offering me a very strange suggestion. It said: “Because you watched Sleeping With the Enemy,” why not try:
which is really pretty hilarious, if you think about it. Also, is that the real cover of the show’s DVDs or did Netflix employees, tasked with designing their own, just say, “Aw hell, fuck these people?”
Tender Buttons
March 28, 2013I was just telling my beloved that I find my ability to get jealous of other people’s ideas quite unnerving. It’s not like there is a limited number of good ideas in the world, or that I have never had a good idea myself (PUH-LEASE) and yet still, when I see other people cracking great stories or doing excellent projects, I bristle and think, “Stupid me, why didn’t I think of that?!”
This goes too for the new edition of Tender Buttons, illustrated by Lisa Congdon. My jealousy is doubly meaningless here because I am not an illustrator. But when you look at the wonderfully whimsical drawings below, can you blame me for envying her talent and idea?
Although come to think of it, I do have a pretty good idea involving this book. Admittedly, when I was in college and read TB in a graduate school seminar, I was a bit befuddled by it. I was trying to find the meaning behind the words, not allowing the prose itself –– the rhythm of it, the feel of it in your mouth –– to give me pleasure. One day, a fellow student said a friend of hers had given the book to her six-year-old daughter, and that the girl had read it with great delight, and she realized that perhaps the best way to read the text was as a child would. It was a lightbulb moment for me, and has made me want to re-read the book ever since, which I have yet to do (someone buy me the Congdon version?) I’m thinking maybe there should be an audiobook of TB read entirely by kids under the age of ten. Imagine this in a kindergartener’s voice:
COLD CLIMATE.
A season in yellow sold extra strings makes lying places.
MALACHITE.
The sudden spoon is the same in no size. The sudden spoon is the wound in the decision.
AN UMBRELLA.
Coloring high means that the strange reason is in front not more in front behind. Not more in front in peace of the dot.
A PETTICOAT.
A light white, a disgrace, an ink spot, a rosy charm.
A WAIST.
A star glide, a single frantic sullenness, a single financial grass greediness.
Object that is in wood. Hold the pine, hold the dark, hold in the rush, make the bottom.
A piece of crystal. A change, in a change that is remarkable there is no reason to say that there was a time.
A woolen object gilded. A country climb is the best disgrace, a couple of practices any of them in order is so left.
A TIME TO EAT.
A pleasant simple habitual and tyrannical and authorised and educated and resumed and articulate separation. This is not tardy.
Auditions will be held this summer. Reach out if you’d like to pimp out your child for this.
All this invocation of the word “tender,” by the way, has made me reflect lovingly on the Disney cartoon Recess, in which the kids use “tender” as a synonym for “awesome.” Great idea: spread this habit.
HIPSIDS
March 25, 2013HELLO INTERNET,
I can’t find another mention of this portmanteau out there although a) I’ve been using it for at least a year, b) I’m sure that the good folks over Vulture have written about it at least once and c) there is a blog called Hipster or Hasid? and they, at some point, should have figured out there is such a thing as a creature who is BOTH a hipster AND a hasid. World, greet the HIPSID:
Usually Hipsids are Lubavitchers, but there might be a rebellious Satmar or two out there who wear a sleek little fedora and a blazer instead of a kaften. If you live in Park Slope, Crown Heights or Prospect Heights, Brooklyn, this term should come in especially handy. If you live pretty much anywhere else, you’ll be lucky to use it twice in your whole life. Hipsids like:
1. Bulletproof Stockings
2. Colorful sneakers
3. Basil restaurant in Crown Heights
4. Tweeting the parsha
5. Jewcy
6. The Yiddish Farm program
7. The Hester
8. Biking
9. Prospect Park
10. Nebbishy plastic eyewear
Shout out to the lovely Elke Reva Sudin, whose painting series, “Hipsters and Hassids,” inspired us all to think about the way these groups interact and overlap.
On that note, everyone have a chag kosher v’sameach!









