Archive for the ‘Lists’ Category

True Detective Mania

March 4, 2014

From Gothamist’s montage of visual clues:

Books in Rust Cohle's storage unit.

Books in Rust Cohle’s storage unit.

It would appear that Cohle is interested in the work of one of my favorite poets, Theodore Roethke.  As nothing in this show is not connected, I’ve taken the liberty of listing a few possible reasons why his collection is included (as opposed to, say, Whitman’s.)  None of these feels like THE answer, though, so if you come up with others, please do send along!  I’ll be happy to give you credit in my book-in-progress, The Complete Annotated True Detective.

1. Roethke’s breakthrough book was called The Lost Son.  A reference to Errol Childress?

2. From perhaps his most famous poem, “My Papa’s Waltz”:

You beat time on my head
With a palm caked hard by dirt

Perhaps a reference to the abuse Errol Childress’ father inflicted on him?

3. The similar eeriness of Roethke’s “Elegy for Jane”:

A wren, happy, tail into the wind,
Her song trembling the twigs and small branches.
The shade sang with her;
The leaves, their whispers turned to kissing,
And the mould sang in the bleached valleys under the rose.

… and the lyrics of The Handsome Family’s “Far From Any Road” (the theme song):

From the dusty May sun
Her looming shadow grows
Hidden in the branches of the poison creosote
She twines her spines up slowly
Towards the boiling sun
And when I touched her skin
My fingers ran with blood

4. Roethke’s major themes: the wildness of nature, and the perils of introspection

5. His obsessive work ethic resembles Cohle’s.  From the Poetry Foundation:

Along with these influences, the source of much of Roethke’s poetry was the notes he dutifully kept throughout his life. A measure of the devotion given to his craft can be found in his statement “I’m always working,” and indeed his pockets were seemingly always filled with jottings of striking thoughts and conversations. His less spontaneous reflections found a place in the workbench of his poetry—his notebooks.

6. Of Christ and crucifixion imagery, Roethke was quite familiar.  During one of his many nervous breakdowns, he “entered the first class of the 1957-58 University of Washington school year by flinging ‘himself against the blackboard in a kind of crucified pose, muttering incoherently.’

7. Uh, this:

Epidermal Macabre

Indelicate is he who loathes
The aspect of his fleshy clothes, —
The flying fabric stitched on bone,
The vesture of the skeleton,
The garment neither fur nor hair,
The cloak of evil and despair,
The veil long violated by
Caresses of the hand and eye.
Yet such is my unseemliness:
I hate my epidermal dress,
The savage blood’s obscenity,
The rags of my anatomy,
And willingly would I dispense
With false accouterments of sense,
To sleep immodestly, a most
Incarnadine and carnal ghost.

8. And finally, everyone’s favorite color (check out that last line––oo, wee!):

From “The Far Field”

The slightly trembling water
Dropping a fine yellow silt where the sun stays;
And the crabs bask near the edge,
The weedy edge, alive with small snakes and bloodsuckers, —
I have come to a still, but not a deep center,
A point outside the glittering current;
My eyes stare at the bottom of a river,
At the irregular stones, iridescent sandgrains,
My mind moves in more than one place,
In a country half-land, half-water.

Great Cocktail Names

February 18, 2014

It’s almost as fun a game as “great band names!”

At 282 Burger on Atlantic Avenue, they have a cocktail named the Sally Draper.  It is made of Old Overholt Rye, Crème de Cacao, Muddled Oranges and Sour Cherries.  Yum!

There were way too many good pics to choose from.

There were way too many good pics to choose from.

Things I Could Judge

October 10, 2013

Things I Feel I Could Competently Judge Based Solely on the Amount of Television I Watch About Them:

Olympic gymnastics

Children’s beauty pageants

Modeling competitions

Any sex-crime court case

Celebrity Sightings

September 8, 2013

My father and I have an informal competition that involves acquiring points by spotting the most outrageous or currently interesting celebrities.  Each celebrity’s point-worth is assigned based on a completely obvious set of intangible qualifications that the two of us agree on.  Last week I saw Katie Holmes, and asked him what he thought she was worth.  Here is his answer:

“The scale would probably be like this:

Katie in Manhattan: 50 points

Katie in Brooklyn: 100 points

Katie being followed by Scientology goons: 200 points

Katie and Suri (with or without goons): 250 points

Suri alone: 500 points

Suri with Tom Cruise: 500 points

Suri with Katie and Tom: Game over.”

Three Day Novel Begins Anew

August 31, 2013

Another one!  I’m far less prepared this time.  Far more nervous.  Wish me luck, everyone!  Here are some things that are on my mind as I begin:

The Collyer Brothers

This quote, from E.L. Doctorow: Asked about his writing routine, Mr. Doctorow smiled slyly and said: “Here’s how it goes: I’m up at the stroke of 10 or 10:30. I have breakfast and read the papers, and then it’s lunchtime. Then maybe a little nap after lunch and out to the gym, and before I know it, it’s time to have a drink.”

Mid-life crises

The Florida Panhandle

Authors Who Are Female Despite Misleading Names

August 14, 2013

Lionel Shriver

Edwidge Danticat

Don’t get caught looking the fool!

Things Prisoners Should Know

August 9, 2013

So I tried to start another blog at one point in my life and *shame* failed pretty miserably.  The thrust of it was bad book proposals, but I realize now that I am too scattered to try and take care of seventeen different projects at once (well, maybe seventeen is fine, but EIGHTEEN…)  The idea, I maintain, is excellent, so herewith, I include a list of things a young inmate plans to write about in his work THE COMPLETE PRISONERS’ HANDBOOK (I generally am not correcting his errors):

“First day of arrival, code of ethics, BOP rules for inmates, living safe, living smart, commissary sheet help, Trulincs & Trufone set-up manual, useful tips and inspiring quotes, STD & Health advices, Legal advices, distance parenting, distance relationship, About drug program, card games, mind games, Origami, Rec time, exercise programs, jail cook book, Some useful skills and knowledge, jail prayers, re-entry information and advices, financial literacy, positive life style and many more…”

I KNOW I KNOW

August 5, 2013

I still owe you a post on Iceland.  This is really embarrassing and terribly uncharacteristic of me.  Usually my blog is the only aspect of my life I have together?  In any case, that is coming asap, I promise, but in the interim, two quick thoughts:

1. Why hasn’t anyone teamed up with the MTA to create an app where you can scan your Metrocard and find out the balance?

2. Wouldn’t it have been great if this review (which I think about probably twice a week) had been boring?

Truths You Will Never Read on the Tumblr “Reasons My Son Is Crying”

June 5, 2013

His mother and I are going through a trial separation

I drink too much

We made him watch The Holy Mountain

The creepy neighbor babysat

I forgot him at Epcot Center

We’re vegan

Childhood-onset Bipolar Disorder

Diagnonsense

April 10, 2013

The piece on Vulture where a psychiatrist evaluates Don Draper reminded me that my friend and I wanted to start a blog a la the Composites where we’d diagnosis various literary and film characters with different mental disorders.  Here is a list of possible subjects, so far.  I don’t know why I bother with these caveats, as it’s not like they’re binding, but don’t steal my shit!  Or maybe I should say, a la Michael in Mad Men, “Whatever, I got a million great ideas.”

1. Scarlett O’Hara
2. Quentin Compson
3. Infinite Jest –– Hal Incandenza
4. Apocalypse Now –– Colonel Kurtz
5. Black Swan –– whatever Natalie Portman’s name is
6. Jan from The Office   (definitely Borderline)
7. Holly Golightly
8. George Costanza
9. Holden Caulfield
10. Christian Grey (50 Shades)
11. Heathcliff and Whatever her name is from Wuthering Heights (codependent)
12. Marla Singer from Fight Club
13. Withnail from Withnail and I   (depression, substance abuse disorder)
14. Isabelle Huppert’s character from The Piano Teacher
15. Job
16. A muppet?
17. Madame Bovary and/or Anna Karenina