For realsies, this is no joke!
I have explained numerous times, verbally and in writing, my opportunity to be a zombie extra in the upcoming film produced by Brad Pitt’s production company today, so I’ll just copy and paste my plea for moolah from one of the two sources to which I applied. Well, first, here is my email to the casting agent, whose name I was given by a friend of my boss’:
Dear Ms. M,
I am the New York assistant to PM, the head of —– Press and —– Press in London, which is publishing MB’s upcoming collection of stories. EV of the EV agency suggested we contact you regarding positions as extras in the currently filming (I believe?) WORLD WAR Z. Both PM and I would be ecstatic to be able to take part in such an exciting event, and would be more than happy to get to Glasgow to do so. (He travels to England once a month usually, and will be in Scotland on holiday for probably two weeks this August.)
As background, PM, as a professional and well-established publisher of about fifty years now, is very at home in front of a camera, maybe 6 feet or so, 75 years old, and has a full head of white hair and an impish grin. I am 27, look to be about 14, about 5 feet tall with blond hair and fairly big brown eyes. As a child I had delusions of Broadway stardom and even auditioned at 10 years old for Les Miz (though it goes without saying I did not get the part) though I am not at all a glory hog and would be pleased as punch to be one of 1,000 undead.
Pictures available upon request.
Thank you for your attention, in advance,
Sincerely,
ID
And her response:
Dear ID,
Thank you for your email about being part of our Glasgow crowd on World War Z. It would be a pleasure to be able to welcome you and PM along on the shoot!
We will be filming in Central Glasgow from 19th August until the end of the month and we will be able to fit in with whatever dates work best for you. Whilst keeping an eye on continuity and making sure you get a good spot and don’t end up at the back.
Please could you send pictures and if you are able your measurements in inches.
For you: Dress size, bust, waist, hips and shoe
And for Peter: Head size, collar, chest, waist, Inside leg and shoe.
When your pictures arrive I will show them to costume and see if we can let you have a costume brief as you may have clothes in your wardrobe that would suit or we may buy some things specifically for you.
This is my number to call if you have any questions at all in the meantime.
Speak soon,
Kind regards
CM
And here is my application to start a page on Kickstarter to raise funds for my $1,000 (give or take) plane ticket to Glasgow. There was a word count so I couldn’t get quite as cheeky as I wanted to (shame!) but it has all the relevant info.
Category
Art
Funding Goal
$1,000 – $5,000
Project Description
It’s kind of a long story, but basically I work for this well-known and sort of nutso publisher who happens to be friends with this Londoner named Ed who made a gazillion dollars (give or take) representing rock stars when they made book deals for their autobiographies and is a pretty cool dude, and he now represents this author named Max Brooks, who writes about zombies, the undead, et al (very big these days.) Max’s next book will be published by my maniac boss, and Max’s last book, WORLD WAR Z, is being made into a movie by Brad Pitt’s production co. They are hiring 1000 extras to play zombies in Glasgow, and the casting agent said I could be an extra, so I’m trying to raise money to get there. That’s the nutshell version.
Project Rewards
Well, I don’t think I could offer a reward based on the movie, as I will be just a lowly extra and can’t get, like, tickets to the premiere or anything (for myself, let alone anyone else) BUT I am a writer and I am in the midst of writing what will be a fantastic and hilarious memoir about my former job working for a dying true crime writer (think TUESDAYS WITH MORRIE if Morrie were a wannabe Mafioso instead of a benevolent teacher-type.) Tony Danza features prominently in the plot. Anyway, for anyone who contributes to this fund, I plan to offer them a) a spot as an extra in the film version of that book (which obvi will happen, because come on: little blond WASPy amanuensis, dying irascible egomaniac, Tony Danza –– as himself –– playing his ukulele, hang out sesh-es with men in the WPP –– it’s just a given) and b) an autographed copy of that book and c) a personalized love letter from yours truly, which, if you have read this proposal carefully, you know will be rather spectacular.
Links
Hm. I don’t have anything really up right now because I just got the email from the casting director this morning, but I’ll put some shtuff on my blog, which is https://itinerantdaughter.wordpress.com. Stay tuned. And I don’t know if I can stick this piece of info in there anywhere, but I only need about $1000 for the plane ticket, according to orbitz.com, but I put myself in the $1,000 – $5,000 bracket even though I need the bottom end. I’ll figure out accommodations on my own. Kisses!
Aaaaaaaaaaand I’m pretty sure they’re going to reject it because it’s not arty enough or something, but I say if my ex-boyfriend can fund his stop-motion clay animation film about “a shy, neurotic wolf (Faye) who develops a mysterious itch on her thigh as she tries to befriend a group of extroverted, freewheeling bunnies”, then I can try to fund this.
Of course you’re welcome to donate on your own and not through any sort of quasi-charitable channel. Just email me at itinerantdaughterandson@gmail.com and I’ll tell you where to send your cold, hard cash.
