Gimme something useful, like an A!
Scrabble Faucet
March 27, 2012Problems
March 27, 2012My colleague HW sent me this last night and I died laughing. I can’t tell if it’s serious, but something tells me at least part of it is.
Home > All Categories > Food & Drink > Other – Food & Drink > Resolved Question
Submitted to Yahoo! Answers:
Im really hungry and have no money and no food to eat. What should I do?
— boop83
Submitted 3 years ago
Best Answer – Chosen by Voters
Sell your computer to get money to eat.
Kimberley wrote:
I’m sorry to hear this, no one should go hungry. Do you have a local food bank you could visit? They are really reasonable and help those in need. Otherwise I would visit your local church and see if they can help you. Another place to look into is your local Senior citizens center, they usually have lunches there daily. All that being said, if you live in an area where there are no facilities like I mentioned maybe you should knock on your neighbors door. I know its not the most appealing thing to do, but most people will help out when they can, its human nature. Good luck to you.
Sangeeth K wrote:
If this is really your state…I am very sorry about it. Get a job asap. But if you are asking for the sake of asking a question, you can drink lot of water. It will reduce the hunger. In olden days there were saints who drank only water and lived for years. But you need practice for that.
vee-smalls wrote:
go to a food bank…..or go to a mcdonallds and say that they messed up your food. their policy says that they have to give you what you sey they messed up without having to see a recipt.
Jez N wrote:
I’m on the same boat as you. thats why im a go chaw from the supermarket. they got loads of money. don’t rob independent shops, they need the cash.
Chelsea V wrote:
sneak into costco and eat all the samples.
middleEngland wrote:
dust. anybody….no?….dust
Jersey Girl wrote:
Go to a food bank.
No money – who’s paying for your internet connection?
Ally wrote:
wow go find some change on the ground and go to wendys or somthing
~M@~me~ wrote:
Call ur Mom, or be a man about it.
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Some of these are predictable, and yet some are genius. I’m totally trying that McDonald’s thing next time I’m hungry and my change doesn’t add up.
Another Profile
March 26, 2012So I’m having a semi-shitty day because my stomach is all weird and gurgly, but it just got a whole lot better when I read this blind item on DListed:
This D list (Z list?) former child star is currently in the process of starting his own religion. He’s claiming to have visions and knows when the end of the world is. He currently has about five followers.
Joey Lawrence, reveal thyself to me! (I know, you were thinking Kirk Cameron, but that’s too easy –– plus, he’s way too high on Jesus to go the way of heresy.) We could really go places with this one.
Brave New World
March 25, 2012I so look forward to Harry Davies-Carr’s essay “Society Bit Me: I Was An Internet Meme” about his rise to fame and subsequent descent into bath salts and sex addiction.
Someone Get On This
March 25, 2012How is it possible that this documentary has never been given English subtitles?
Berlin Muren
Mrs. Wall. No, seriously, that's her name.
The video Berlinmuren (2008) tells the story of a highly unusual relationship: the love affair between the Swedish woman Eija-Riita Berliner-Mauer and the Berlin Wall. She considers November 9th, 1989, the day the Wall “fell,” the saddest day of her life. Berliner-Mauer now lives in Liden in northern Sweden where, besides running a museum that displays models of guillotines and the Berlin Wall, she moderates a number of websites about the Wall and the phenomenon of human love for objects.
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Also someone/publication ought to give me the money to go visit this chick and write a profile on her. Paging David Remnick…
I Just Gotta Be Me
March 23, 2012Sometimes I like being myself. It’s the simple moments in my life that make it beautiful, the times I spend with myself, a gentle, humorous companion. Like today, for example, when I was walking up 1st Avenue to catch the bus, I saw a flyer on a lamppost that read, “Suffer from ADHD or Dyslexia? Join our group! Come bowling with people just like you!” And I immediately started to envision such an event, and then decided, “That is way too easy.”
Memorabilia
March 22, 2012Sometimes people need reminders of things, and sometimes the things they need reminders of seem a little sick, to others. Many people I know who have spent a lot of time in hospitals –– myself included –– have a fetishistic attraction to hospital paraphernalia, i.e. bracelets, scrubs, really thin, rough bedsheets, IV poles, etc. etc. There’s a certain kind of coziness that comes with feeling so trapped and heavily monitored, perhaps, and when we’re adrift in the universe, going to our jobs, living our banal and yet terrifying lives, the idea of being strapped to a gurney seems rather enjoyable. (Perhaps, in your spare time, try to connect this argument to the 90s club kid trend of wearing pacifiers around one’s neck.) I have an interactive art piece in the works about this desire-for-incarceration phenomenon, but for now, here’s a genius bracelet from Cast of Vices, an LA-based jewelry maker who defines their work in the following paragraph:
“BORN FROM A DESIRE TO CREATE ARTIFACTS OUT OF OUR VICES, CAST OF VICES CELEBRATES THE INHERENT DESIGN AESTHETIC OF THESE SUBSTANCES WHILE AT THE SAME TIME CASTING A CRITICAL EYE ON POP CULTURE AND OUR OBESSION WITH SELF-MEDICATION AND ADDICTION.
WHEN OUR ROME FALLS THESE WILL BE OUR REMAINS: CIGARETTE BUTTS, PILLS, BOTTLE CAPS, AND COKE BAGS.”
I’m categorizing this under “Buy Me This!” but a friend of mine just asked me via email “out of curiosity” what color bracelet I like best, so don’t put it on your list of things to procure for me just yet –– I think I may be gifted one in the near future.
THE NEW LOWS GAME
March 22, 2012I’ve decided that playing this game (seeing what kind of new lows you can reach before you cease to be human) really can help add levity and joy to one’s miserable existence. For example, last night I couldn’t sleep and so was lying awake at 2 AM watching an old episode of Law and Order: SVU that I’ve seen no less than THREE times under the guise of “research (trying to write a list –– subject cannot be disclosed –– which requires me spending upwards of 24 hours rewatching SVU’s and in the end, McSweeney’s won’t even touch my shit, guaranteed) and I actually started TEARING UP when the dad from The Wonder Years begged for judicial mercy for his sociopathic adopted daughter, and then when I was just about to chastise myself for being so PATHETIC, I chuckled and thought, “Gee, this is a new one! What a funny sad sack I am!”
And now I’m off to read a bitter comedian’s tweets instead of do worthwhile work. NAMASTE, THESE ARE PRAYER BEADS!
Bragging
March 20, 2012Places I can legitimately say I’ve exhibited:
MoMA
Art Basel Miami
Armory Show, 2012 (see below)
Itinerantdaughter's Blog 