Itinerantdaughter's Blog

Sometimes people who maintain blogs have delusions of writing/e-fame grandeur.  I don’t really, but I like to imagine that I strive for some sort of substance in my posts.  I’ll let you know in advance that this post has absolutely no redeeming quality, and I am ranting to my audience of none (one?) just to get this off my chest.  As I have been poor as Heidi Fleiss post-Hollywood Madam but pre-Celebrity Rehab these past few months, I’ve spent a great deal of time perusing Craigslist looking for little part time work.  I often saw ads for internships (point of irritation number one, as that’s just fancy college talk for “slave labor”) for an e-newsletter called Scallywag and Vagabond, obviously trying to snarikly fake-it-til-they-make-it into the world of Better Than social NYC.  So that was annoying, just knowing these people existed, and then one day one of their emails mysteriously appeared in my inbox!  How they got to me I have no idea (I’ve never been a Gawker fan) so I followed the instructions at the bottom and dropped them a “note” asking to please be removed from the list.  No dice; shit still showed up in there letting me know of such pressing news items as the “The New Breed of Coke Whore” and “Have u ever lived with a Crystal Meth addict? – Oh the adventures… CRYSTAL METH BOY AND HIS SKANK.”  Finally I just marked it as Spam and yet SOMEHOW today I got the LATEST ISSUE of this piece of rubbish, re-printed to help you along with your burgeoning bulimia below:

from scoop scoop <scoop@scallywagandvagabond.com>
to
date Wed, Dec 29, 2010 at 5:27 PM
subject Who are the top 10 hot men in NYC? The return of Anal Sex and more celebrities who misbehave.

hide details 5:27 PM (21 hours ago)

WELCOME TO SCALLYWAG AND VAGABOND- an irreverent dossier on scandal, misbehavior, aesthetics, manners and intellect. Midweek newsletter.
http://scallywagandvagabond.com/
Who are the top ten hot guys of NYC? – let’s find out… TOP TEN MALE HOTTIES OF NYC

Anal Sex. Why are more women trying it and liking it? ANAL SEX- R U DOING IT?

Have you ever had the worse dinner party? We just did…. FAUX PAS DINNER PARTIES

Which Hollywood celebrity blew off back to back family gatherings for Santa’s blow? – CELEBRITY PLEASURES

Isn’t it time you aspiring journalists came and interned with Scallywag?- BECOME A TRASH TABLOID WRITER TOO.

Prince William to do away with servants – ROYAL MANNERS

Cynthia Colston gets arrested for calling 911 after receiving a bad manicure  911

Did you give birth to a baby at an airport bathroom, strangle the baby and then flush them away- STRANGLING BABIES

and our favorite – SAVAGE PREDATOR: scandal, faux pas and gossip
ENJOY THE READ

LOVE

SCALLYWAG

To unsubscribe drop us a note.

And so I wrote back:

from Itinerant Daughter
to scoop scoop <scoop@scallywagandvagabond.com>

date Thu, Dec 30, 2010 at 12:51 PM
subject Re: Who are the top 10 hot men in NYC? The return of Anal Sex and more celebrities who misbehave.
mailed-bygmail.com

hide details 12:51 PM (2 hours ago)

1. I never signed up for this newsletter.
2. I wrote to tell you to take me off your mailing list and got no response and still receive the letters.
3. I marked it as SPAM and somehow you’re getting through my filter.

Please please remove me from your list!

See?  I told you this post would have no redeeming qualities.  I’m too pissed to be poetic.

Well, he’s in Los Angeles, but I mean specifically…

IS: guess where I’m going tomorrow

Dear MTA,

This morning I woke up on time for work, what can only be called a rare occurrence.  Visions of coffee and bagels danced in my head as I hustled down to the G Train.  Alas, twenty-five minutes, and no train.  In an effort to salvage my professional reputation, I had to spend my last eleven dollars on a taxi, and as a result, have not been able to eat all day long.  Therefore, you, the MTA, owe me exactly eleven dollars, or approximately two small meals.  Please send payment/aliment to:

Itinerant Daughter

c/o the Guggenheim

1071 Fifth Avenue

New York, NY 10128

Regards,

ID