Repetition

November 15, 2012

I know that my most recent post was basically an excerpt from an invite, but here’s another from the weekly email reminder about Chulent, a Thursday night gathering for those on the Chasidic spectrum.  It starts out normally.  Just keep reading.

 

This Thursday night November 15th we will get together as unusual for some Chulent and Schmoozing.

Much more hot food than usual, please spread the word to those that might be in need especially in light of the storms.

Time: 10:15 PM

Lecturer : Chaim Chernikov

Topic : How Language Affects Our Lives & How to Escape Thinking Altogether (An Introduction to Modern Linguistics)

The lecture will have two parts. In the first part “How language affects our lives” we will discuss the Roman Jakobson communication scheme, Sapir-Whorf Theory & will end with Wittgenstein and some final remarks. (You can Google the references). This section will be very dense and irrelevant, but people will be impressed with my verbosity and scope. The important takeout after this part will be “wow, he’s so smart!” nothing more nothing less, as always at Chulent.

In the second part of the lecture  “How to escape thinking altogether” we will present a workshop on a very safe and innovative method of cooking meth.

You will be able to take meth samples home with you after the class. Bring your own apron, or we will provide aprons, which you can rent for this class at $2.

I’m about 68% sure they’re kidding.

Happy Birthday Gonk!

November 15, 2012

From the Dorothy Parker Society email newsletter:

Hotel Salute

This month the Algonquin Hotel is turning 110 years old. When guests checked in on a cold November day in 1902, a room and bath could be had for $2 or $3 dollars a night, and there was a horse stable next door to the hotel. Well those stables are now the famous Blue Bar, and that’s where we are going to have a toast to 110 years of being the best literary landmark in New York. Join us at the bar on Tuesday, Nov. 27, at 6:30 PM for cocktails. The Blue Bar was renovated this spring, and if you haven’t visited, the place is gorgeous. Have a cocktail as we salute the Algonquin Round Table, the hotel, and the many historical events that have taken place. Address is 59 West 44th Street, between 5th and 6th avenues.

I will be there, will YOU?

 

 

A True Testament to Romantic Love

November 13, 2012

Fucking delicious.  In case you can’t read, “halfsies” are half curly fries, half regular fries.

ML: i wish i were a pothead

me: omg HALFSIES

that’s the most amazing thing i’ve ever heard of in my life

ML: what just the halfsies

or the whole thing

i can’t believe it’s only $6

me: no the halfsies are amazing!

i’ve never heard of such a thing!

ML: hahah

me: wait

where the fuck is this meal available?

ML: jack in the box!

me: we. must. go.

i’m getting brunch burger

ML: oh plum

sometimes i feel like you and i are just meant to be

me: we ARE

ML: the nearest is in ohio

me: you know what else is meant to be?

ML: what?

me: me and HALFSIES

Kafka Tuesday

November 13, 2012

A wee Kafka story that can almost (ALMOST) be read as Tao-ish self help.

The Trees

For we are as tree-trunks in the snow.  Apparently they are merely resting on the surface of the snow, and a little push would be enough to knock them over.  No, that’s not the case, for they are firmly attached to the ground.  But see, even that is only seemingly the case.

CHRISTMAS IS COMING

November 12, 2012

So I will post one thing each day on this blog that I would like YOU to buy for me!  (Kidding –– unless I am really hard-pressed for material between now and December 25th.)

Doll head planters!? H/T Miss Moss.

Poetry

November 11, 2012

Perhaps it’s noticeable that I’m into poetry these days, but in case it isn’t, just let it be known that I am.  Also, I’ve been watching episodes of the British Office, which I forgot is beyond hilarious, and so when David Brent read a poem of his own, I realized I had to take the opportunity to post it here for all to enjoy:

Excalibur

I froze your tears and made a dagger

and stabbed it in my cock forever

It stays there like Excalibur

Are you my Arthur?  Say you are.

Take this cold, dark, steely blade

Steel it, sheath it in your lake

I drown with you to be together

Must you breathe?

Cause I need heaven.

How To Make Friends and Alienate Artists

November 9, 2012

IS: Guess who I’m hanging with Saturday?  Hint: mother of an infamous baby, and infamous baby daddy (now dead)

ID: Michelle Williams?

IS: Close, and good guess.

ID: No idea.

IS: Agathe Snow!

ID: Who’s the infamous baby?

IS: Mother of Secret Snow, child of Dash Snow

RIP

ID: Nope, not Secret’s mom –– her name is Jade Berreau

IS: Really?!

Oh I’m so wrong

Dash and Agathe are former hubbies

ID: Yup

IS: Good thing I texted you this, otherwise I would’ve been like, “Where’s secret?”
Well I’m glad that all mythology has been emptied out of the situation then.

ID: Holy fuck that would have been SUPER awkward!!!

IS: AWKWARD TURTLE

Secret, with real mom

Postscript: Do you think Jade Berreau would let me babysit?

WHY IS NOBODY TALKING ABOUT AL SHARPTON?

November 8, 2012

Okay, so I’ve just seen that Al Sharpton credits his weight loss to “vegetarianism,” but seriously, did anyone else not watch the election coverage and worry that Al had developed a wee amphetamine habit?

This ain’t just broccoli.

I’m very worried about the Reverend.  Who will keep it real if he kicks the bucket?  Who will tempt us with threats to run for President?  Who will make surprise appearances on Law and Order: Special Victims Unit and Saturday Night Live?  Ain’t nobody to replace the Rev!

Three Random Things

November 6, 2012

1. I hate this category the most of all my blog categories, but please please please buy me this for Christmas:

PLEASE IT’S ONLY $6,000!

2. My beloved is working at the voting centers in Virginia, and when I asked him how it was going, here is what he said:

“nutso super busy these people are crazy talk later”

Seems about right.

3. My blog is getting WAY more hits the past few days than normal, and I’m pretty sure it’s because I mentioned MM Schneerson.  So!

SCHNEERSON

SCHNEERSON

SCHNEERSON

SCHNEERSON

Keep ’em coming, folks.

Once Again…

November 6, 2012

Check out what’s happening at BAM Cinematek this week:

Hello movie lovers!

This weekend, BAMcinématek’s Puppets on Film series returns by popular demand. One of the best attended programs of last year, this interactive, family-friendly series will feature live performances and workshops for children, a confetti-filled Labyrinth sing-along, Oscar-winning favorites like Babe and Jurassic Park, and unsung gems like the visually stunning Strings.

The week kicks off, though, with our week-long run of Quadrophenia (in a pristine 35mm print!), a classic portrait of British mod culture featuring music from The Who’s epic double album.

We hope to see you here!
—The BAMcinématek Team

Nobody panic.  I’ve already contacted BAM about next year doing A Muppet Christmas Carol.