Itinerantdaughter's Blog

A Gig For Me

August 14, 2012

“Tino Seghal makes what he calls ‘constructed situations.’ He uses the raw materials of voice, language, and movement to build pieces of art. For ‘This Progress’ (2010), he filled the rotunda of the Guggenheim with a corps of ‘interpreters’ –– children, teen-agers, baby boomers, octogenarians –– who, according to a set of rules devised by Sehgal, engaged each visitor in a conversation, delivering him to progressively older interlocutors as he spiralled up the museum’s ramp. The piece, which made intimates of strangers, was exhilarating. Visitors shared such confidences as, ‘The smaller the diamond, the better the marriage’ and ‘Mr. Hitler ruined my childhood.’ Some of them left in tears. (The critic Jerry Saltz pointed out that it was the only work of art he’d ever encountered that could cry back.) ‘This Progress’ reflected Sehgal’s desire to redefine art as the transformation of actions rather than of things. ‘What my work is about is, Can something that is not an inanimate object be considered valuable?’ Sehgal said recently. He is, in a sense, an architect of interaction. His works are collaborations, new builds on human turfs.”

— New Yorker article entitled “The Question Artist”

So now I have to write to Tino Sehgal and offer myself up as an “interpreter” (for a nominal fee) for his next NYC-based project. Here’s to hoping I have more luck with him than I did with Ms. Abramovic.

Posted in Things I Love That I Go to Inappropriate Lengths to Track Down | Leave a Comment »

Eh, Fuck It

August 13, 2012

So I’ve tried to really not post too many pretty things that I want to be purchased for me because my boyfriend is one of three followers of this blog and sometimes calls me out on basically keeping a running tally of all the gifts I would like him to give me (sometimes he’s right, sometimes not). And this one is PARTICULARLY bad, because it’s a RING, and I’m not saying I need to get married now or any bullshit like that (trust me, I’m about done with the whole idea of a wedding at all right now, given recent experiences), but I saw this engagement ring on a shopping website the other day and am. officially. obsessed.

BLACK DIAMOND!

It’s a black fucking diamond. So badass, and yet so beautiful. The perfect antidote to all the boringly pure whites out there.

So why am I doing something so blatantly idiotic as posting an engagement ring when I know my boyfriend –– logical and fearless a thinker he may be –– looks at this site? Well, it seems pretty obvious to me, a devotee of Walker Percy and all, that a lot of e-activity these days is a paltry attempt at ownership –– as in, we post a link to an article that we like because it allows us to feel that we have some active hand in its creation, or a picture of a blouse we may have seen online because by keeping a simulacrum of it on our blog (in our domain), it’s a bit like having it in our own closets. In other words, passing the thing on, announcing our love of it, commenting on it online, these are the closest experiences we can ever have to owning the thing 100%, and while of course we should all aim towards some degree of needless Buddhist existence (especially American active-Facebookers), sometimes you can’t help but want to have something, to touch it and to keep it for yourself. So basically I just want this beautiful thing, even in a way that is so pathetically by-proxy and associative, and I’m succumbing to my desire for one <500 word post. I wanted to announce my attraction to it so much that I emailed a pretty prominent professional blogger who writes about cutesy stuff like baby clothes and NYC date ideas and told her she should post it. Her response:

“haha, you are so cute!! thank you so much for writing:) oh wow, this ring is gorgeous; i really love it. i’d love to post about it soon. thank you so much for the great idea!!”

So maybe she will and maybe she won’t, but for whatever reason, it wasn’t good enough for me. I wanted to claim it for myself, so here we are.

This is the catalyst for the creation of another retro-category, I believe: new lows.

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Back from the Mish

August 12, 2012

Back from northern Michigan, feeling like absolute death for various reasons, but thought I would share this uncharacteristically scatological bit of self-made humor with you: the other day I was taking a shit and eating a piece of toast at the same time and I thought, amused at myself, “Ah, the Circle of Life!”

Posted in Not a Poet | Leave a Comment »

Jesting, INFINITELY!

August 5, 2012

My boyfriend and I are on vacation up in northern Michigan, so I will be MIA for a few days and not doing my usual 18 posts of nonsense every day. My boyfriend won’t be doing much of anything except gobbling up the book he brought, no doubt influenced by me: yep, you guessed it, Infinite Jest! I love it when I can relive the Jest via another (not in a position for a re-read just about now.)

Below is a picture of a poster I have which is a massive chart of all the characters in the tome. It’s been on my to-frame list for a year or maybe more. I’m going to start a Kickstarter fund: “Help ID Frame Shit and Decorate Her Apartment So That She Has a Chance of Being Featured On The Selby.” Won’t you donate to this excellent cause?

Wow, so many characters! Created by the excellent Sam Potts.

Posted in Buy Me This!, Image Craving, Jesting, Infinitely | Leave a Comment »

MONEY

August 3, 2012

I am terrible with money. Just straight up terrible. When I was in college, it made sense, because I would do super irresponsible things like shop at Barney’s every week because I couldn’t possibly go without a pair of shoes that I just realized my life had always been incomplete without, or I’d go to dinner with friends and pay for it all on my “emergencies only” credit card and then have them give me their portion of the bill in cash money and then I’d go spend that cash on gum and magazines and sushi and dry cleaning. Now, though, I don’t really understand exactly where my money goes, aside from bills and dinners out (a weakness)… okay, and dry cleaning, but seriously, I never buy myself clothes anymore, and that used to be my biggest expense bar none? Also I pay for my own doctors usually, and that’s a tough number when you see a psychiatrist every so often. Who knew it was so expensive to STOP taking medication? Seems counterintuitive, but then again, it’s expensive when someone dies, too, so absence doesn’t always equal lack of cost. Life!

In any case, today I finally heeded my boyfriend’s and other good friend’s (separate) call to look into a credit card and I went on the Capital One website and inquired about a credit card. I ended up chatting with a “specialist” because I really just wanted to ask if they could give me the card um, right now? But I sort of danced around the topic and never got an answer (I think the answer is no.) I’ve pasted the conversation below because I’m still trying to figure out if this is a real person, and I’m wondering if people ever, for fun, go on to websites with live chat helpers (J. Crew has personal shoppers now I think?) and try to make them talk to dirty or ask them deep questions like, “Why are we here?” or the like.

So: Ryan: real or robot?

BEGIN

Hi there. Please hold for a moment. One of our specialists will be right with you.

Hi and welcome to Capital One live chat! One of our specialists will be right with you. Your chat may be monitored and recorded.

You are now chatting with Ryan.

you: Hello?

Ryan: Thank you for visiting Capital One’s website. My name is Ryan, what questions can I answer for you about our online credit card offers?

Ryan: Hello, how can I be of help today?

you: Well I’ve never had a credit card before, so I’m a little bit *dull* when it comes to the rules

you: first off.

Ryan: Just to clarify, is this is going to be your first credit card?

you: yes

you: i have a debit card

you: i pay rent

you: etc.

Ryan: Thank you for choosing Capital One for your first card of choice.

you: but i’ve never had a credit card only

you: Oh you are welcome.

Ryan: Have you already selected a card to apply online or would you like me to help in finding a right card for you now?

you: i found one

you: my main question is about the process

you: and if it is faster if i go to a bank branch

you: or if it takes the same amount of time regardless

Ryan: That’s great! Can I know the full name of the card that you are applying?

you: let me see

you: The website recommended platinum

Ryan: Okay.

Ryan: I understand that you are referring to the Capital One Platinum Credit Card listed under average credit, am I correct?

you: Yes

Ryan: Thank you for sharing! I can help you with your online application. The process only takes about 5-10 minutes to complete. Plus, if you apply online you’ll get a response in as little as 60 seconds. Is that okay?

you: Sure. So you’re saying there’s no advantage to doing the application at the physical bank?

Ryan: Just to let you know, you can apply for our credit cards over phone or online.

you: oh ok

you: cool

Ryan: Before you proceed to the application, I’d like to inform that you can enroll for Online Banking to manage your account online for free and you can also add an authorized user to your account. By enrolling yourself to Online Banking, you can view your account information, pay online, change the image on the card and get hands on many more services without having to wait for a customer service representative on the phone line.

Ryan: Let me provide you the link to apply for the card now online.

And that’s when I closed the chat box because he just gave me the link to the website where I initially found him, and my question wasn’t at all about the application process –– which was basically TYPE YOUR NAME HERE –– but rather about whether I can have money today. Ryan, do you hear me?

Posted in Conspiracy Theories, I Hate Writing | Leave a Comment »

So Maybe My Writing Career Is Going Better Than It Ever Has

August 2, 2012

… but, ever the pessimist, I realize I may have awkward moments like this to look forward to:

“[Holt’s] accounts of his visits with various intellectuals tend to provide comic relief as well. The Oxford physicist David Deutsch, for example, reminds Mr. Holt that he’d once reviewed one of Mr. Deutsch’s books negatively (‘arrogant in tone and marred by leaps of logic’) in The Wall Street Journal. He generously speaks with the groveling Mr. Holt regardless.”

~ from today’s NY Times article about Jim Holt’s Why Does the World Exist?

Posted in I Hate Writing | Leave a Comment »

This Book is Fucking Amazing

August 1, 2012

“Just then a young girl stopped us and invited us to partake of her. My friend asked at once: ‘How much?’

She mentioned a sum. ‘That’s too much,’ he said. She came down. Still he shook his head.

‘Come,’ she said finally, with a weary expression on her sallow face. ‘I don’t want any money. I just want you.’

Whereupon he took his watch out and said: ‘It’s too late. Sorry, some other day, if you don’t mind.’ And taking me by the arm he started to move off. She caught and held me.

‘For nothing,’ she repeated with despair in her deep-sunk eyes. See, I’m rich.’ She opened her purse and pulled out a roll of bills. Rolls of bills mean nothing much in France, but indeed she might have been rich. She was well dressed, I noticed. Nothing extravagant, but certainly not poorly. Her whole body trembled as if in fever. And the tremors coursed through her hand and communicated themselves to me.

My friend tore me away. As we hastened on, I looked back and saw her standing where we had left her, her hands covering her face.

‘Why did you do that?’ I asked. The action of my new acquaintance had disgusted me. He had meant only to tease her.

‘I wanted to see how far down she would come. I’ve had them come down to two francs, but never to nothing. But her case can’t count because she wasn’t after money. She’s a pathological case.'”

–– Guy Endore, The Werewolf of Paris

Posted in It Could Be Worse..., Really Awesome Insults | Leave a Comment »

Lazy

July 31, 2012

No bones about it –– I’ve been lazy recently. Luckily my job provides me with lots of free entertainment in the form of book proposals put together by crazy, egomaniacal, or genius people. The below author is obviously a combination of the three. (He’s a contributor to “over a dozen” Chicken Soup for the Soul books.)

*Note: I’m definitely breaking at least a moral code, if not a law, by posting this. I’m too lazy to even apologize.

Dear Editor,

Rap/hip hop is one of the most misunderstood forms of music in the world. Some believe it doesn’t require any musical technique, theory or talent. Others find the lyrics offensive. But hip hop artists sing about life on the streets, in sometimes impoverished, problematic areas. Because rap comes largely from a culture that has a lot of problems, people tend to think that the music is the cause of these problems rather than an observation of them. Unfortunately, there are rap fans and reactionary journalists who still believe this as well.

That’s why the best age for children to learn about rap/hip hop music is when they’re young and able to form their own opinions. Meet Kurtis Croak, a hip hop frog who isn’t into throwing down gang signs or ganking another toad’s log. Kurtis and his friend, Master Toad, hope to tutor a young frog named Lil’ Wog in the true culture of hip hop. First, though, they must convince the other frogs in the bog that the music is both respectable and inspirational.

Kurtis Croak is a picture book that will find a place in the hearts of young children, and help them understand and appreciate the music of cultures other than their own.

Kurtis Croak

The Hip Hop Frog

Warning: This story bangs real hard.

Once there was a frog who lived in a bog,

his name was Kurtis Croak.

He wore a do-rag wrapped around his head

and his jeans were slung real low.

Kurtis had a rapper friend

known as Master Toad.

Fistfuls of bling hung on his neck,

‘cause that was how he rolled.

The two would chill for hours a day,

catching mayflies on a stump.

They’d discuss the old school rappers

Like Frogface, Sticky Tongue and M.C. Jump.

—

Of course I won’t include the whole rap here. You’ll have to bribe me to get it!

Posted in I Hate Writing, Not a Poet | Leave a Comment »

Answer

July 26, 2012

A reader saw the picture of “Mecca” I posted on a few days ago (maybe?) and emailed me with this question:

I’ve been trying to find out that too, I thought it might have been the US or Northen Africa, judging by the colour … maybe Jordan? No idea, I’m just guessing. I would love to know more about it’s construction too. The Kaaba [shrine] looks concrete but the rest is kinda cardboardish. If you do manage to find more information please drop me a line!

My brother, who sent me the picture originally (via VVORK), contacted the artist and got a quick and thorough response. The artist is French, so I’m editing for clarity/grammar. See below:

Dear IS,

Thank you so much for your email.

The image you saw on VVORK website is a photo that I shot in Ouarzazate ( Morocco).

This installation is a cinema set abandonned in the desert after the shooting of the movie :

Journey to Mecca, in the footsteps of Ibn Battuta.

The movie has been directed by Bruce Neibaur in 2009.

I’m very interested in relation that Muslim people have with this holy object.

I don’t really have a statement for this particular work but it refers to aspect of my work.

I’m interested by surfaces and what is hidden behind the surface.

In the case of the Kaaba, there is like a mystery. It’s a black box, almost empty.

I grew up in two cultures. I navigated an Arab culture in the private sphere and a Western culture in the public realm. This particular kind of double consciousness, common to those who’ve migrated to culturally different societies, has provided me with a regard defined by the superimposition of two distinct cultural filters. When I look at Tony Smith’s black cube, for example, it is difficult for me not to think of the Kaaba.

My video work “The Message”, 2010 is exemplary of this perspective. I used a cult film from the 1970s which recounts the birth of Islam. Two identical versions of the film were made simultaneously: one with Arab actors, the other with American stars. I combined these two versions to create a single film wherein Arab and American actors relate with perfect mutual understanding despite speaking their respective language.

My parents have lived in France for over 30 years, yet they are continually looking toward the Arab world. Their satellite dish, like their bodies in prayer, points eastward. My photographic series “Musallat”, 2010 shows places of Muslim prayer in Montreal, Canada. This work is an exercise in the metaphysics of photography: the camera obscura is directed toward the source of light (the East) just as the faithful orient themselves towards Mecca. While looking at the photograph the spectator also looks in the direction of this sacred site. The tropism reflected in these images attests to my geographic and psychological position in the world both as an individual and as an artist.

—

An abandoned film set! How very Fellini. Now, on to find The Message!

Posted in Image Craving, Things I Love That I Go to Inappropriate Lengths to Track Down | Leave a Comment »

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

July 24, 2012

TERROR!

I was walking through SoHo early this morning, still kind of fuzzy from sleep, and I looked into the window of the Louis Vuitton store and YAYOI KUSAMA WAS FUCKING STANDING THERE STARING AT ME!

Of course then I realized it was a statue, but still, for a second, I thought I had met my demise, and it was in the shape of a short, plump little Japanese wacko.

Tonight I will not sleep well.

Posted in Conspiracy Theories, Fashion Blogging for Toddlers, Image Craving, SORRY TO TELL YOU A DREAM | Leave a Comment »