For a 4th of July party…
Vegetable Dress!
Also, have been thinking about making a thimble hat––like, a really big thimble you just plop on top of your head. Kind of like a fez. Siobhan will be taking pre-orders.
Archive for the ‘Buy Me This!’ Category
This Would Have Been Awesome
July 8, 2013DIY Earrings
July 3, 2013
Le freak c’est chic.
After I saw Moonrise Kingdom––which I consider to be Wes Anderson’s most successful movie in years––I looked everywhere for dead beetles with which to recreate the earrings that Sam makes for Suzy.
But sadly, all I could find were the wings of the beetles, and earrings made out of them, which were far less exciting than what I had envisioned.
But today, I got an email in my inbox commemorating the Evolution Store’s 20th anniversary (mazel!) and, intrigued by the maroon version of their signature tote, decided to give the e-stock a second look. AND I’m not sure any of the options I’ve come up with are perfect, they’re as close as I’ve gotten so far. You can buy me whichever one you think is the closest.
Sagra Femorata
Sternocera Aqui
Chrysina Beyeri
Met Ball
May 29, 2013I meant to do this ages ago, but um, just forgot. Below is my under-one-sentence analysis of everyone photographed for the Cut’s slideshow. I sent this to a few friends who asked what I thought of the get-ups, and they often responded with thinly-veiled concern. “So… how’s work going these days?’
1. Beyonce –– meh
2. Anne Hathaway –– nice, but so obviously trying to shed her good girl image
3. Gisele –– a little more South Beach than punk but she looks fine as always
4. Gwyneth –– I hate that I don’t hate this
5. Anna Wintour –– boring
6. Rooney Mara –– I usually like her shtick (even though it is shtick) and I think this is topical
7. Lauren Santo Domingo –– sure
8. Kimye –– wake me when these two are done-so
9. Nicki Minaj –– I never signed on for her, so I refuse to comment
10. Katie Holmes –– only nod to punk is her faux-hawk. Otherwise it’s a little too diaphanous. It looks like something from Intermix.
11. Dakota Fanning –– I like
12. Joan Smalls –– I like
13. Kirsten Dunst –– I like but I don’t know if I’d call it PUNK
14. Madonna –– I have been over her for at least ten years
15. MKO –– hm… weird, as usual, not exactly punk but a little laissez-faire, so I’m in!
16. SJP –– I appreciate that hat more than I can say
17. Lena Dunham –– really don’t care
18. Giovanna Bataglia –– could have lost the choker
19. Miley Cyrus –– A for effort
20. Donatella Versace –– I don’t even know what she was wearing because I navigated away quickly bc her face scares me
21. Psy –– memes are invited?
22. Ashley Olsen –– I hate orange, but it’s pretty, but it’s not punk
23. Linda Evangelista –– she looks like Cinderella, and I do not mean that as a compliment
24. Maggie Gyllenhaal –– boring
25. the Courtins sisters –– look like particularly unfashionable Russian femme bots
26. Claire Danes –– looks exactly the same as she always does
27. Jessica Seinfeld –– she’s a hot mom.
28. Zachary Quinto –– punky!
29. Julianne Moore –– kinda cool? she’s awesome, so I’ll give it to her
30. John Demsey –– I have no idea who this is
31. Emily Blunt –– aw, she looks happy and she’s wearing pink eyeshadow! Well done
32. Leelee Sobieski –– I haven’t decided if I’m okay with her being famous again
33. Jennifer Lawrence –– for once, I’m not 100% on her
34. Jennifer Lopez –– very J. Lo, not at all punk
35. Plum Skyes –– looks like a curtain
36. Kristin Stewart –– enormously unflattering
37. Rita Ora –– I can’t figure out what’s coming out of the back of her dress
38. Eve –– very ornate, I’m into it
39. Andrew Bevan –– I’m not evaluating people I’ve never heard of
40. Jessica Pare –– I’m intrigued. It’s daring but not campy. [ed note: upon realizing she was wearing pants, I quickly recanted my approval]
41. Emma Watson –– misses the mark
42. Kathryn Neale Shaffer –– who is this? She’s kind of scary looking
43. Miguel –– just because you stick out your tongue does not mean you are punk
44. Cameron Diaz –– I like it, in theory. It’s kind of unflattering but cool.
45. Elizabeth Banks –– I hate it but I get why she chose it
46. Carine Roitfeld –– I just don’t fucking know
47. Mindy Kaling –– she looks cute! But not punk
48. Gwen Stefani –– I very much approve of this
49. Rosie Huntington-Whitely –– I’m a sucker for anything avian-themed
50. Nikolaj –– boys’ clothes are boring
51. Jamie Campbell and Lily Collins –– this made me smile!
52. Dree Hemingway –– I like it but I would have tweaked a few things (her hair for one)
53. Ashley Greene –– boring (I mean her, not the dress… the dress too, but she’s the bigger nonentity)
54. Jessica Biel –– cool in theory, make it look like she has cankles
55. Kerry Washington –– her smallness freaks me out
56. Sienna Miller –– a role she was born to play
57. Marky Ramone –– was he invited because he’s a Ramone?
58. Zandra Rhodes –– appropriate
59. Naomie Harris –– Pretty I guess?
60. Karolina Kurkova –– Sure?
61. Taylor Swift –– this must have been really hard for her. Good try!
62. Nicole Richie –– HAIR FOR THE WIN!!!
63. Diane Von Furstenberg –– looks the same as she always does
64. Christina Ricci –– well done but her stance reminds me of Betsy Johnson?
65. Stacy Keibler –– I’m outraged she was invited and I was not
66. Kate Upton –– Palm Beach Barbie
67. Karlie Kloss –– very pretty, not at all punk
68. Liya Kebede –– no opinion
69. Chelsea Clinton –– more politics than prose
70. Marion Cotillard –– I like it, it’s interesting, it’s not the best I’ve seen
71. Florence Welch –– duh
72. Miranda Kerr –– just because your clothing has cut outs doesn’t mean it’s punk
73. Michelle Williams –– black tie pixie
74. Olivia Wilde –– kinda cool. I know I just knocked Kerr for this but this cut-out is interesting.
75. Alicia Keyes –– predictable
76. Tory Burch –– didn’t even try
77. Lala Anthony –– I have nothing
78. Uma Thurman –– weird in a good way (I think)
79. Hilary Rhoda –– pants! well done
80. Jessica Alba –– snooze
81. Kate Beckinsale –– looks the SAME AS SHE ALWAYS DOES
82. Tim Minchin –– who is this?
83. Coco Rocha –– well played Coco!
84. Brian Atwood –– boy
85. Christopher Walsh –– boy
86. Nora Zehetner –– this is more an Bombay Nights theme
87. Stella McCartney –– can’t tell from this picture
88. Debbie Harry–– hahaha amazing
89. Emilia Clarke –– she looks hot but ___ (see stock complaint below)
90. Tyson Beckford –– bitch please
91. Jessica Hart –– I approve
92. Allison Williams –– YES nice job!
93. Renee Zellweger –– Reminds me of a spiderweb
94. The Family Hilfiger –– Trying too hard
95. Skarsgard –– boy
96. Lily Aldridge and Caleb Followill –– not trying at all
97. Carey Mulligan –– I’m a sucker for her. Not bad?
98. Elizabeth Chambers and Armie Hammer –– I don’t know who these people are
99. Ziyi Zhang –– same as always
100. Greta Gerwig –– she annoys me
101. Hilaria –– boring
102. Alexa Chung –– very Chungy but nice
103. January Jones –– she looks like a FREAK and I love it!
104. Anja Rubik –– see comment re: Elizabeth Banks
105. Bee Shaffer –– I bet it hurt her to have her nails painted black
106. Kylie Minogue –– nice, but not punk
107. Ginnifer Goodwin –– well played
108. Tiger and Lindsay –– STFU
109. Emma Roberts –– meh
110. Elle Fanning –– A little more 70s Hair than punk
111. Blake Lively –– what’s a level of enthusiasm below meh?
112. Katy Perry –– this is literally the only time I haven’t loathed her
113. Dylan Lauren –– she looks like a real housewife. Is she one?
114. Minka Kelly –– thoughtful
115. Lauren Lauren –– black and lace, works on others, but I can tell she’s faking it
116. Julie Macklow –– who is this?
117. Heidi Klum –– I hate it when people don’t even try to meet the theme
118. Hailee Steinfeld –– YES subtle and pretty but still edgy
119. Selby Drummond –– we went to camp together. Why is she there?
120. Emmy Rossum –– is that a bird’s nest on her head?
121. Aubrey Plaza –– confused
122. Amanda Seyfried –– if it’s punky that must be in the front
123. Kate Mara –– are those tassels?
124. Solange –– can not go to themed things because she’s too SOLANGEY
125. Andy Cohen –– no
126. Carolyn Murphy –– black with lace and feathers and somehow not punk
127. Fran Leibowitz –– excellent
128. Jaime King –– nicely done
129. Michelle Dockery –– okay
130. Nina Dobrev –– somehow this strikes me as more Shakira than punk
131. Chloe Sevigny –– made me laugh, which I consider a triumph (punk is funny!)
132. Amber Heard –– very pretty = epic fail
133. Bella Heathcote –– she doesn’t look like a real person
134. Julianne Hough –– meh
135. Sam Gainsbury –– good effort, but who is this?
136. Kelly Osbourne and beau –– this wasn’t hard for htem
137. Gerard Butler –– boy
138. Doutzen Kroes –– I get it
139. Sebastian Stan –– whatever
140. Felicity Jones –– could have tried harder
141. Sofia Coppola –– hilarious, love it
142. Victor Cruz & Lady –– meh
143. Cara Crowley –– horrible
144. Alexis Welch and man –– good for her! effort AND she’s pregnant
145. Anne Vincent –– overgrown debutante
146. Constance Jablonski –– nice!
147. Sandra Lee –– …
148. Megan Salt and Nancy Chilton –– I guess these are getting less famous/well-styled as the list goes on
149. Ivanka Trump –– fail
150. Hayley Bloomingdale –– meh
151. Giuliana Rancic –– meh
152. Jennifer Morrison –– I approve actually
153. Redgrave ladies –– hits and misses
Stock complaint: most women wore pretty dresses and one crucifix earring, or black nailpolish and Givenchy. I think someone should have pierced their tongue solely for the occasion.
FINAL NOTE: I just realized today that Sienna Miller’s NAILS WERE SPIKED! Way to go.
ouch.
FOUND IT
May 21, 2013A while ago––I know now it must have been 2010––I read an article in the Times about a rundown mansion in the Hudson Valley (I thought that was it) that housed the eccentric members of a blue blooded American family and their various guests and tenants. The house sounded like a bohemian dream, sheltered from the outside world by hundreds of acres and the thick atmospheric padding of centuries of history. I wanted so badly to write to the inhabitants there and ask if I could come stay a while, but I quickly forgot all of the important details of the piece, namely the family’s patronymic, where the house was, exactly, and what they called the house. I searched on the Times with every weak combination I could think of, usually a combination of “bohemian,” “family,” “mansion,” “Hudson.” Of course, I got nothing.
Then yesterday I was sitting in Union Station in Washington DC, painfully full of steak and feeling inexplicably melancholy (considering I’ve been in relatively high spirits as of late.) I started to read the latest Smithsonian magazine and almost tossed it aside, as I felt plagued by an old jealousy of the writers whose work was featured, and the fascinating, productive people they profiled. But I idly skipped to the book review section at the end, and found a review of a forthcoming memoir from HarperCollins entitled Astor Orphan. Below, a description via HC’s website:
The Astor Orphan begins in Alexandra Aldrich’s tenth summer, at the moment when her father returns home with an alluring Frenchwoman. The interloper sets into motion a series of familial feuds and disasters that unmoor the last remnants of Alexandra’s family life.
But as Alexandra reveals, the origins of her family’s disintegration can be traced back to the Gilded Age when the greater Astor legacy began to come undone, leaving the Aldrich branch virtually penniless and squabbling over what little was left.
Alexandra grew up in the servants’ quarters of Rokeby, the family’s beautiful mansion, foraging for her next meal, battling for dominance with her wealthier first cousins, and striving to get her pathologically distracted parents to take care of her. Amid the chaos and squalor of the household, the young girl, forced by circumstances to become wise beyond her years, rose promptly at 6:30 each morning, adhering to a strict schedule of exercise, cleanliness, and intensive violin practice that imposed order on her anarchic world.
Illustrated with sixteen pages of black-and-white photographs that bring this faded world into focus, The Astor Orphan is Alexandra Aldrich’s heartrending story-a memoir of staggering power with the unflinching pathos and grit of The Glass Castle and the faded glory and madness of Grey Gardens.
Of course! Rokeby! I immediately went back and found the original article and was entranced anew. (Aldrich is a convert to Orthodox Judaism!) Now the only things left to do are:
1. Decide whether or not to purchase the book––doesn’t sound like my usual fare, but it’s gotten very good reviews, and I do freaking love Grey Gardens
2. Find the street address for Rokeby (I came close; it’s possible they have no mailbox.)
3. Think of a good excuse to visit/stay for a vacation, and write to ask them if I can come.
Someone Go and Report Back
May 18, 2013***** Also on SATURDAY *****
Feeling Gloomy
Feeling Gloomy NYC trudges mournfully onward. We may have had thrown a gigantic party upon our return to NYC last month, but that doesn’t really make us happy. No, the skies are still gray, and we still wear black on the outside because black is how we feel on the inside.
That said, we hope you will come join us in our misery once again at the world’s only party devoted to sad music. We will very mournfully wheel around the dancefloor to our favorite songs. Hankies are not required, but strongly encouraged.
Feeling Gloomy, the world’s only dance party devoted to sad music, has returned to NYC. The night has been taken on by brothers grim Gordon and Nathaniel Gloom who promise you more downbeat BPMs than you can handle. They will be joined by DJ Grim Reaper who really does look like death.
Smuggled over from the Gloomy old UK (where its now 7 years old) it has thrived in the land of the free, bringing great, gloomy, British tunes to the good ole US of A for over three years now. The boys will be rifling through their record collections to select anything from the Cure to Dolly Parton. As long as the lyrics are gloomy and you can dance to it, it may well be thrown down. Don’t forget if it’s your birthday you will get the chance to come up and blow out the candles on the cake as the crowd sing Unhappy Birthday and commiserate with you for being another year nearer the grave. So come on New York. Join Feeling Gloomy in its new home and put on your red shoes to dance those blues. Dress to depress.
Grand Victory
245 Grand Street, between Driggs and Roebling, Williamsburg, Brooklyn
11p- 4a; $6 door
Glamour
May 4, 2013When I was in college, I was far more glamorous than I am now, which is to say I spent my parents’ money freely on baubles and fur shrugs and went to parties downtown at Bungalow 8 and other places that used to be cool. I also interned at the most famous fashion magazine in the world, and I would stumble into work on Friday mornings wearing last night’s make-up and dark green wedge heels and proceed to romp around the closet and order messengers most of the day. While there, I became friendly with my boss, who was close with the jewelry designer Lulu Frost, aka Lisa Salzer. Lisa was making these necklaces out of the numbers from the doors at the Plaza Hotel, which at this point had just been sold. I had a huge friend crush on Lisa and went to visit her studio, and she, in recompense for my affection, sold me a Plaza number necklace at a discount price. And today I was wandering around the interwebs looking at jewelry in a moment of intellectual laziness and came across Lulu’s website and OH MY G-D I should have stayed friends with her and tried to snatch something from her “Let’s Bring Back” collection, such as this necklace made of eyes.
Casati-inspired.
It occurs to me that this is at least the second post I’ve written about ocular necklaces, and at least the third about necklaces designed to look like human body parts. I would have made a great voodoo priestess.
COUNTING
May 3, 2013Someone I consider a good friend (but I’ve never met him IRL) told me he wrote a blurb for a children’s counting book called Happy Punks 1 2 3 and I couldn’t resist picking it up for… well, anyone I know who has a kid, although I’m quite content to keep it for myself if no one else is interested. Basically the book follows a motley crew of weirdos as they go about advertising their rock show, eating pizza pre-show and then performing. It’s pretty tame for punks (no dragon-chasing involved) but perfect for hipster bebes! (Apparently the authors also have made Happy Punk paper dolls.)
Hanging posters at the thrift store.
Mansion Hunting
April 30, 2013While (still!) looking for an apartment, I found Satis House. It looks as if you’d need to bushwhack just to get inside. A little bit of jungle adventure before the morning commute would do a person good!
“So unchanging was the dull old house, the yellow light in the darkened room, the faded spectre in the chair by the dressing-table glass, that I felt as if the stopping of the clocks had stopped Time in that mysterious place, and, while I and everything else outside it grew older, it stood still. Daylight never entered the house as to my thoughts and remembrances of it, any more than as to the actual fact. It bewildered me, and under its influence I continued at heart to hate my trade and to be ashamed of home.”
Hangover Island
April 24, 2013While searching my new favorite website to find a good spot for my commune to relocate to, I came across this darling little isle in –– where else? –– Florida!
Looks like a nasty swamp.
Name:Hangover Island
Region:Florida, United States
Location:30 minutes from Ocala
Development:Non-developed
Title:Freehold
Type:Private Island
Price:USD 300,000 convert
Status:For Sale
Size:40.00 Acres / 16.19 HA
ABOUT HANGOVER ISLAND
Come play where the Indians played, on your own 40 acre island with an Indian Mound over 8 feet in elevation. Find artifacts on your oyster shell beach like arrowheads, pottery, etc.
It is approximately one half mile to electricity on Pasco Island. Hangover Island is centrally located between the Crystal River and the Homosassa River on the beautiful Saint Martins River.
Crystal River is home of the world’s largest Manatee sanctuary; all the local waterways have manatee. They migrate right past Hangover Island. The wildlife and fish populations abound, that’s why they call this The Nature Coast of Florida.
The St. Martins River has a marked channel – it is approximately 2 miles to the Gulf of Mexico and one mile to the town of Ozello. The quaint waterfront town of Ozello is located approximately 30 minutes to Ocala, 1 hour from Tampa, 2 hours from Orlando (Disneyworld).
Excellent inshore and offshore fishing and sightseeing.
The owner is motivated to sell and will also consider a trade for a mountain property in the Eastern US.
*Luckily for the owner I have a mountain property in the Eastern US I’ve been meaning to offload.
Tiny Houses
April 18, 2013I am deep in the apartment search right now and I came across this darling little old house that I was about to pounce on:
In the middle of our street.
But then I realized that it’s essentially under the BQE (that’s a highway, for the uninitiated.) For a moment there I thought maybe it could be the beginnings of a comedy, a la Woody Allen living beneath the Cyclone in Annie Hall, but that would be totally derivative. Ah well––back to the grind!
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