Archive for the ‘Jesting, Infinitely’ Category

“We can try anything once!”

July 12, 2012

I saw the Czech film Daisies, decried by the then-Communist government as “depicting the wanton,” at BAM this week, and found its total wackiness (no better word for it) kind of enthralling.  Here’s a little bit from an essay on the Criterion Collection’s website (they released a box set entitled “Pearls of the Czech New Wave”):

On the surface, Daisies’ assemblage of outlandish scenarios enacted by two ferociously antiestablishment figures would seem to mark it as simple anarchic slapstick, like a New Wave Marx Brothers comedy. But Chytilová has called her film “a philosophical documentary in the form of a farce.” The Maries are not merely railing against a society that views them as little more than objects (in the opening scene, Marie II calls herself a panna, which translates as both “doll” and “virgin” in Czech, and the girls play with, and at one point remove, their limbs as though they were the plastic appendages of mannequins); they are also existentially angry. Early on, they decide the world is meaningless, “spoiled,” which they use as justification to spoil themselves. By refusing to cultivate a psychological connection between audience and character, and by confounding any sense of narrative momentum, Chytilová and her screenwriting partner Ester Krumbachová create protagonists who seem to have no future or past. Blank slates, they have been interpreted over the years variously as embodiments of healthy rebellion and the banality of evil. Either way, they are good representations of Chytilová’s belief that “people are primitives and aesthetes at the same time.”

And here, even more exciting, is a copy of the Daises paper dolls I got at BAM!

There are some excellent clothing moments in the movie. Their bikinis are super rad.

Opening “Poem”

July 12, 2012

Here’s the opening poem to Soula Coaster: The Diary of Me (apologies that I have been incorrectly referring to the title as the STORY of me.  I am so ashamed.)

Look behind myself as I reflect on all the memories

Good times they come and go

Lost everything from friends to family

If I could turn back the hands

There would be some things I’d change about me

I know my past is not what my future holds

Where I come from who could

believe all the pain and misery

Look in my eyes and you will see…

The diary of me

Rewind my life, just go back and correct all the wrong

And ask God to direct my path so then I could make it home

Years ago a child was born and raised without a man

My mom was scorned but still reached out her hand

Just open the book, turn the pages of my life

and you will read

A true story about one man’s journey…

The diary of me

I mean… just… just wow, Kells.  I really for once in my life have been struck dumb.  I believe I just WILL turn the pages of your life.  I really can’t wait until you deal with that whole urinating on a preteen thing.  That’s what I’m assuming you’re referring to when you say there would be some things you’d change, correct?

RIP Nora

June 27, 2012

A list originally published in The Huffington Post (or, I guess, ON The Huffington Post.)

25 THINGS PEOPLE HAVE A SHOCKING CAPACITY TO BE SURPRISED BY OVER AND OVER AGAIN

1. Journalists sometimes make things up.

2. Journalists sometimes get things wrong.

3. Almost all books that are published as memoirs are initially written as novels, and then the agent/editor says, this might work better as a memoir.

4. Beautiful young women sometimes marry ugly, old rich men.

5. In business, there is no such thing as synergy in the good sense of the term.

6. Freedom of the press belongs to the man who owns one.

7. Nothing written in today’s sports pages makes sense to anyone who didn’t read yesterday’s sports pages.

8. There is no explaining the stock market but people try.

9. The Democrats are deeply disappointing.

10. Movies have no political effect whatsoever.

11. High-protein diets work.

12. A lot of people take the Bible literally.

13. Pornography is the opiate of the masses.

14. You can never know the truth of anyone’s marriage, including your own.

15. People actually sign pre-nuptial agreements.

16. Mary Matalin and James Carville are married.

17. Muslims hate us.

18. Everybody lies.

19. The reason why it’s important for a Democrat to be President is the Supreme Court.

20. Howard Stern is apparently very nice in person.

21. In Manhattan a small one-bedroom apartment that needs work costs $1 million.

22. People look like their dogs.

23. Cary Grant was Jewish.

24. Cary Grant wasn’t Jewish.

25. Larry King has never read a book.

Anybody Planning to Off Him/Herself?

June 6, 2012

I’m looking to find someone who is planning on committing suicide anyway –– as in, has called the hotlines, tried the meds, done the treatments, no dice –– and wasn’t planning on leaving a note so I can strike a deal that they will leave a post-it at the scene that simply reads, “I cannot live in a world where there is a Tumblr devoted solely to Tumblrs.”  That way, his/her death will not be in vain.

All Recent Posts Have Been of Eerily Similar Lengths

May 16, 2012

From the New Books section of Harper’s Magazine, this one authored by Joshua Cohen and regarding Nabokov’s Selected Poems;

“Wilson is Edmund, of course, who presumed to question Nabokov’s faithful but faithfully unreadable translation of Eugene Onegin.  Levin, Harry, was a Harvard comparative-literature professor so awed by Nabokov’s alighting in Cambridge that he later plucked him from the butterfly cabinet of the zoology department and pinned him as a humanities professor.  In gratitude, Nabokov once spent an entire evening expounding on the life and work of a nineteenth-century novelist he’d just invented, only because he knew Levin would never admit he hadn’t read him.”

A Pending Project

May 7, 2012

Addressed to: Nitehawk Cinema, Brooklyn, NY

To Whom It May Concern:

This isn’t a press request, but more of a project proposal, and therefore I apologize for perhaps (probably) sending it to the incorrect address.

Allow me to introduce myself: my name is ID, and I am a writer, sometimes-artist, and publishing assistant based in Brooklyn.  I’ve done some pretty cool things in my day, including but not limited to: live in a bookstore in Paris, appear in a New York Magazine article about the denizens and devotees of the Chelsea Hotel, and hunt Burmese pythons in the Florida Everglades.  None of this is relevant to the idea I’m about to put forward, but I just thought you should know with whom you are dealing.

Last Christmas, at my obligatory family gathering, my younger brothers (ages 23 and 25) and I were discussing the canon of Christmas films, and the standout of this quite substantial genre, A Muppet Christmas Carol.  This movie, like many muppet films, is bitingly clever, touching, and replete with raucous tunes.  Who could forget the narrative genius of Gonzo as “a blue furry Dickens who hangs out with a rat?”  Who could resist joining in with Statler and Waldorf as they sing their theme song, “We’re Marley and Marley (Wooooo!)?”  Who could forget mini-Kermit’s heartbreaking portrayal of Tiny Tim?  In addition to this, the film has a great human dramatic star to boot; anyone who believes that George C. Scott even comes close rivals Michael Caine’s Ebenezer Scrooge deserves to have ghosts visit him in the dead of night and recreate for him all the most painful and humiliating moments in his life.

All of a sudden, it dawned on me: this Hensen classic, like all seminal cult films, deserves its own sing-a-long screening.  This would of course take place in December, though a random mid-summer fete might be hilarious, if that’s better.  From what I can tell, the lyrics to many of the songs are available online, and any holes in the libretto I will personally fill in (the movie is the first in my Amazon movie library for this expressed purpose.)  For this small task, whatever marketing I can help with despite not having a Facebook account, and any additional organization you may need, I would ask for only 1% of profit.  On that note, I don’t think it will be difficult to attract viewers to these limited showings.  The Muppets, as you probably know, are experiencing a renaissance of sorts, what with the release of their movie co-starring an Apatow frat boy and a pretty-young-thing Oscar nominee AND the shout-out to them in perhaps the most buzzed-about New York Times op-ed of the last decade.  Plus, if this one is a success, then there’s always Muppet Treasure Island to follow-up.

I don’t really think I need to say anything else.  As I see it, I’m handing you a big silver platter of GENIUS, and all you need to do is partake.  I can just see the advertisements now: come one, come all to Nitehawk Cinema for an evening of popcorn, songs, beer, and cheer.  (Maybe an eggnog cocktail is in order?)  Costumes not necessarily required, pipes need not be perfectly pitched, but a Christmas spirit definitely in order.

With much love,

ID

—-

Publicist Pamela

Apr 2

 

ID,

This is one of the best emails that I’ve ever received.  Thank you.  We’re forwarding your idea on to John Woods, who heads the programming at Nitehawk.

Best,

Pam

A Break From Etan

April 20, 2012

… though he’s still on our minds.

So true.

Apologies to anyone who has come here under the impression that I’m a news site.  In this particular instance, I just happen to be close to the action, and my eyes are always open.

An Old Friend

April 12, 2012

3. There are probably whole Johns Hopkins U. Press books to be written on the lallating function that humor serves in today’s US psyche.  A crude way to put the whole thing is that our present culture is, both developmentally and historically, adolescent.  And since adolescence is acknowledge to be the single most stressful and frightening period of human development –– the stage when the adulthood we claim to crave begins to present itself as a real and narrowing system of responsibilities and limitations (taxes, death) and when we yearn inside for a return to the same childish oblivion we pretend to scorn* –– it’s not difficult to see why we as a culture are so susceptible to art and entertainment whose primary function is escape, i.e. fantasy, adrenaline, spectacle, romance, etc.  Jokes are a kind of art, and because most of us Americans come to art now essentially to escape ourselves –– to pretend for a while that we’re not mice and walls are parallel and the cat can be outrun –– it’s understandable that most of us are going to view “A Little Fable” as not at all that funny, or maybe even see it as a repulsive instance of the exact sort of downer-type death-and-taxes reality for which “real” humor serves as a respite.

*(Do you think it’s a coincidence that college is when many Americans do their most serious fucking and falling-down drinking and generally ecstatic Dyonysian-type reveling?  It’s not.  College students are adolescents, and they’re terrified, and they’re dealing with their terror in a distinctively US way.  Those naked boys hanging upside-down out of their frat house’s windows on Friday night are simply trying to buy a few hours’ escape from the grim adult stuff that any decent school has forced them to think about all week.)

—–

Note to the heavens: I’ll work on the books about the “lallating function” that humor STILL serves.  Rest in peace, DFW.

Everybody’s Being Funny

April 6, 2012

ID: OMG!  Guess who checked me out on my way to the subway from work?

Boyfriend: … I don’t like this story.

ID: Owen Wilson!

Boyfriend: Really?  Wow.

ID: He was riding a bike the wrong way down a street and not wearing a helmet.

Boyfriend: Well, that makes sense, because we all know he wants to die.

So true.

Chag sameach, darlings!

If I Had Twitter

April 2, 2012

Lena Dunham ‏ (@lenadunham) said: I’m getting pret-ty worried about how we’re gonna organize the gmails of great thinkers & publish volumes of correspondence. Who’s on this?

Itinerant Daughter says: I am.  Don’t you worry one bit.

If perhaps you get this, though, I’m sorry to say I can’t watch your new show, as I am incapable of watching anything other than re-runs of Intervention and Law and Order SVU that I’ve already seen eighteen times.  My psyche is on a permanent Aristotelian carthasis-by-tragedy loop.